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Cosplay feelings go deep... kinda feely, just kinda getting something off my chest

#1 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 27 July 2013 - 10:53 PM

So this year's ACen, well, sucked for me. I worked non-stop from 10am-3am two weeks before the convention, since I am a full time student, and could only work a little bit for the last two months before it. Worst part was, I was working on my friend's and her boyfriend's costumes. And they barley even appreciated them, and I did all that work for no pay. I also had mine and my boyfriend's costumes to work on, but I couldn't start those until I got those other costumes done, because for some reason I thought that because they spent money on theirs and I bought the stuff for my boyfriend's costume, theirs was more important. I pulled at least 3 all nighters to get theirs done, and I did, with only a day left to finish mine and my boyfriends. I managed to finish his Friday morning, but...because of that, I didn't get to finish mine. I didn't get to cosplay this year, at all. My boyfriend tried to be supportive and try and get it finished, but it didn't work. I was at first happy that he got to look so amazing for the weekend, but then I started to become bitter about it. All the pictures, all the compliments, I missed getting that too. And worst of all, I didn't get the confidence that I get when I cosplayed Medusa, the costume I failed to finish. I decided to redo the costume from last year, make it even better, I should have just left it that way I could have cosplayed and been happy with my boyfriend as a couple cosplay. And I felt terrible, I couldn't even be in the photoshoot, I couldn't take pictures with people, and I felt so stupid walking next to him. I had a lot of bitter feels because of not getting my costume done, and I felt that I missed out on a lot because of it. There was so much I was supposed to do and so many people I was supposed to see, but couldn't. And that broke my heart. Plus I spent so much money and effort on the costume, I worked so hard to get everything right for that cosplay, and to just see it all wasted, it sucked. I mean there was some happiness from it, seeing my boyfriend make such an amazing Stein, and seeing my friend be so happy in her costume was nice, but it wasn't enough to out-weight the bad feelings. Now I have learned though, and I'm not doing costumes for them again, and I'm going to try and work much earlier this time around, balancing work/school/cosplay better. Sorry to have posted all this, assuming you read up to this point, but it's just something I had to get off my chest, and I am still upset over my ACen being bad. And I also wanted to know:

Are you deeply connected to your cosplays as well? Or am I just weird? Maybe both.

#2 User is offline   S1NN3R 

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Posted 28 July 2013 - 02:33 AM

Friends and family may not understand/care/appreciate the time and effort placed in cosplay (or other things), try to move past it and learn from this. All too well many of us have gone through similar experiences. All I can say is Next ACen will be better. Lastly, No, you're not weird, you are just that dedicated to your work. Looking forward to seeing your Medusa or next project
"You'll never have any answers untill you ask the questions"
When people start asking, I'll answer.


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#3 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 28 July 2013 - 10:21 AM

Thank you ^-^ Next year will hopefully be Taokaka and a finished Medusa

#4 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 09:32 AM

Talk to them and tell them your concerns. Keep and open line of communication with your friends (in this case: customers) and try not to bottle feelings up. Tell them how their actions attitudes made you feel and how it effected your accomplishments and con-going time. You'll feel better.

If it's any consolation (and to many, a better reward), have your models/customers (boyfriend, friend, friend's BF, etc..) direct the admirers/photographers on the con-floor towards you and your work (business cards, referrals). You'll truly feel accomplished and might even garner even more business (if that the line of work you're heading towards).
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#5 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 12:55 PM

View PostPrayer Police, on 02 August 2013 - 09:32 AM, said:

Talk to them and tell them your concerns. Keep and open line of communication with your friends (in this case: customers) and try not to bottle feelings up. Tell them how their actions attitudes made you feel and how it effected your accomplishments and con-going time. You'll feel better.

If it's any consolation (and to many, a better reward), have your models/customers (boyfriend, friend, friend's BF, etc..) direct the admirers/photographers on the con-floor towards you and your work (business cards, referrals). You'll truly feel accomplished and might even garner even more business (if that the line of work you're heading towards).


I tried to talk to them about my concerns, but my words fell on deaf ears, besides my boyfriend, who showed nothing but gratitude towards it. And I had reserved to making costumes for me, my boyfriend, and my friends, I don't like making costumes for others and now don't really want to do them for friends either.

But hey, thanks for the advice, and I'll take it into account should I come across the issue again :3

#6 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 07:48 PM

Do you (or would consider) commissioning work for constructing coslays?
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#7 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 12:12 AM

View PostPrayer Police, on 02 August 2013 - 07:48 PM, said:

Do you (or would consider) commissioning work for constructing coslays?


Elaborate? I'm always willing to make props or help design how a costume can be made, I'm pretty skilled with my lil hands o3o, and they don't take as much work as fittings and sizing to actually have a costume for someone else...

So if you are talking about one of those two then yes I'd consider it x3

But if not do elaborate please!

#8 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 10:55 PM

I just meant ANY cosplay work you have gotten paid for.
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#9 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 03 August 2013 - 11:04 PM

View PostPrayer Police, on 03 August 2013 - 10:55 PM, said:

I just meant ANY cosplay work you have gotten paid for.


Oooooh my bad, didn't understand at first.

I have gotten commissions in the past, but I really hate charging people, especially friends...it makes me feel bad.

Or rather I hate charging people a lot, and I always feel like I am.

This post has been edited by eat_me_for_I_am_peeps: 03 August 2013 - 11:05 PM


#10 User is offline   kuro_ketsurui 

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Posted 05 August 2013 - 08:53 AM

Stop feeling bad. It's not particularly supportive advice, but it's reality. You should either stop making costumes for others or stop feeling bad about what you charge. If you charge too little, you'll feel even worse than not charging at all. Since I support people making money from what they love to do, I vote to stop feeling bad about it. Pretend you're Medusa.
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#11 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:23 AM

View Postkuro_ketsurui, on 05 August 2013 - 08:53 AM, said:

Stop feeling bad. It's not particularly supportive advice, but it's reality. You should either stop making costumes for others or stop feeling bad about what you charge. If you charge too little, you'll feel even worse than not charging at all. Since I support people making money from what they love to do, I vote to stop feeling bad about it. Pretend you're Medusa.


Haha good advice on the Medusa part, but I did give up on making costumes for others, but props and junk is still a lot of fun and easier to do so I do that and don't mind the money.

#12 User is offline   Fudgi P0pZ 

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 12:38 PM

View Postkuro_ketsurui, on 05 August 2013 - 08:53 AM, said:

Stop feeling bad. It's not particularly supportive advice, but it's reality. You should either stop making costumes for others or stop feeling bad about what you charge. If you charge too little, you'll feel even worse than not charging at all. Since I support people making money from what they love to do, I vote to stop feeling bad about it. Pretend you're Medusa.


Uhhh, sounds supportive to me. :) I also agree with Prayer Police, but seeing as your concerns fell on deaf ears, OP, I'll share some of my thoughts:

I completely understand how you feel because I've done it (to) myself--multiple times. It always made me feel good when friends would come to me asking me how to make a costume because that meant I knew something and that they actually valued my opinion. I was always happy to help and share my knowledge. So, when a friend asked me to 'help' her make a costume, I didn't quite understand what 'help' would eventually come to mean; essentially, I completed the entire costume for her. Twice. She might have been appreciative, but after seeing how helping her repeatedly led me to short-change my own costumes, I knew I had to take a step back and reevaluate my priorities. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. I didn't know how to say no to what would overextend my ability NOR did I realize what it took to overextend my ability in the first place. I didn't know my own limit and I had to find it out the hard way. My intent is not to be patronizing; I just want to share my own personal life lessons in hopes you can take something away from it, too. :)

When it comes to planning costumes, factor yourself in the number of costumes you have to complete as THE first priority. You deserve that. If you think you'll be able to finish your costume after you finish other peoples, you most likely will not be able to. Why? You'll be too busy trying to do a great job on the other people's costumes--I mean, it's your work and it represents you. Why on earth wouldn't you want to do a darn good job, amirite? ^^ Well, this extra care is going to take a lot more time than you may have originally thought and that extra time will have to come out of somewhere--most likely at the expense of your own costume (and sanity). So, what I'm basically advising is that you have to be more selfish. Don't feel as if you have to stop making costumes for others, just put yourself at the front of that list. If you have time after your costume obligations are taken care of, then, sure! You have the time to help others with theirs. Just remember that the fact of the matter is that there will be no one to help you finish your costume (like other people could turn to you for help), so you have to prioritize your time.

This past ACen, the same friend came to me again and asked me to help her with her costume. Knowing I had a big costume ahead of me and that there was no one who could help me with it, I told her I couldn't. In the end, I probably lost this friend in the long run, but I'm sooo much happier knowing that my affairs were handled and that I completed my own costume just in time. How can I expect to help someone else if I can't help myself? ^^ I wish you the best, OP. I know that you'll do great from here on out. Don't resent the bad feelings you have right now. At least you know what will and will not work for you in the future!
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#13 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 11 August 2013 - 01:49 PM

Thank you for sharing that story, it's nice to have someone that sympathizes with me in a way. And it's so hard for me to be "selfish," but I will certainly start putting myself up there with the priorities, since the feeling I had not cosplaying this year was awful :c

And I'm sorry to hear about your friend :c I wish you the best as well ^-^

#14 User is offline   Noiz 

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 10:01 PM

Something similar happened to me as well. I didn't attend ACen 2013 but I was helping my sister finish a costume which I knew she would try and get done at the last night. An acquaintance asked if I could help with her costume and I said yes because I thought I would be able to finish another costume since my sister's costume was almost complete. Things didn't turn out they way I wanted. I see her watching anime on my laptop and didn't even touch her fabric. I told her that the anime can wait since getting the costume done is priority. After making a skirt, I went to see how my sister was doing at the other room. We finish her costume and it was around 11:00 PM. I went back and I see her once again watching anime. I asked if she finished sewing all the buttons and she literally asked how to sew buttons... Taught her and she sewed one but then asked how to tie a knot since she finished a strand. I literally gave her my "are you serious" face. It was about 1:30 AM that time and yup, way past curfew. I was getting really tired from working so late and I got up and told her "it's way past curfew and my sister needs to sleep for ACen. Get as much done as you can" and she left my house.

I only help certain friends when it comes to making costumes. Usually when someone asks, I always drag them along to the fabric store and give them advice about certain fabric and patterns. If necessary, I teach them how to use a sewing machine and hand sewing. But I usually only help up to two friends and that's it, and I always make sure they do work as well or else I just don't help them at all after.
┈━═ αcεи 2 0 1 6 ═━┈
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Mikazuki Munechika (Touken Ranbu)
Saturday
Yusei Fudo (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds) - Also depending when the YGO gathering will be.
Sunday
Kageyama Tobio (Haikyuu!!)
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#15 User is offline   Noiz 

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 10:01 PM

Something similar happened to me as well. I didn't attend ACen 2013 but I was helping my sister finish a costume which I knew she would try and get done at the last night. An acquaintance asked if I could help with her costume and I said yes because I thought I would be able to finish another costume since my sister's costume was almost complete. Things didn't turn out they way I wanted. I see her watching anime on my laptop and didn't even touch her fabric. I told her that the anime can wait since getting the costume done is priority. After making a skirt, I went to see how my sister was doing at the other room. We finish her costume and it was around 11:00 PM. I went back and I see her once again watching anime. I asked if she finished sewing all the buttons and she literally asked how to sew buttons... Taught her and she sewed one but then asked how to tie a knot since she finished a strand. I literally gave her my "are you serious" face. It was about 1:30 AM that time and yup, way past curfew. I was getting really tired from working so late and I got up and told her "it's way past curfew and my sister needs to sleep for ACen. Get as much done as you can" and she left my house.

I only help certain friends when it comes to making costumes. Usually when someone asks, I always drag them along to the fabric store and give them advice about certain fabric and patterns. If necessary, I teach them how to use a sewing machine and hand sewing. But I usually only help up to two friends and that's it, and I always make sure they do work as well or else I just don't help them at all after.
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Friday
Mikazuki Munechika (Touken Ranbu)
Saturday
Yusei Fudo (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds) - Also depending when the YGO gathering will be.
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#16 User is offline   eat_me_for_I_am_peeps 

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Posted 14 August 2013 - 11:41 PM

I'm sorry to hear about that, people all too easily take advantage of you once you say "oh ya I can sew." And being helpful means you do all the work :c At least you set a good line for yourself so you can avoid getting the same situation happen again, good for you :3

#17 User is offline   Noiz 

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Posted 23 August 2013 - 04:17 PM

View Posteat_me_for_I_am_peeps, on 14 August 2013 - 11:41 PM, said:

I'm sorry to hear about that, people all too easily take advantage of you once you say "oh ya I can sew." And being helpful means you do all the work :c At least you set a good line for yourself so you can avoid getting the same situation happen again, good for you :3

Thanks :). It really annoying when people think of me as the "sewing machine that functions by herself so I don't need to learn how to work and fix it". ugh... people these days...
┈━═ αcεи 2 0 1 6 ═━┈
Friday
Mikazuki Munechika (Touken Ranbu)
Saturday
Yusei Fudo (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds) - Also depending when the YGO gathering will be.
Sunday
Kageyama Tobio (Haikyuu!!)
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#18 User is offline   manga1 

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Posted 19 May 2014 - 09:29 PM

I feel you, I do propmaking, I wish I could sew but I could barely sew up my tassles to my coat for my arthur august angel cosplay for the masq last year at ACen in the cosstudio, I can put a button back on my shirt if I can get it to thread but once I spent 2 hours trying to thread a needle and then I gave up and stappled the wings to my arthur angel cosplay, I do know how a sewing machine runs we used them in jr high in crafts class, I just cant get a needle to thread let alone make even stitches with the thread anymore,

I can do quite a bit with wood and I make guns, traceout wepons, and swords, out of wood, but no one wants to spent what I should be charging for the work, or they say, ehhhe errragh its toooo heavy, ehhhe its too thin. can you make me one out of plastic or foam, no I only do wood.

I wish I could make costumes, but I cant sew to save my life, I wish I could make great costumes in a quick amount of time, but I dont I use closet cosplays as they are more pragmatic and I can use them for other things, or as a jab dress in character and go to church since three of them minus the props use a suit and my suspenders, I could wear my suite and suspenders and dress shoes, brush my hair how the character has it and no one is the wiser, I could go to a formal church service grab my props out of my car and I could be ready for a con in three of my characters, auska jr from st tail, david from blood + and if soo choosing wolfwood from trigun, or a randome japanese buisnessperson.

then I get complements on my one piece props I make of one piece of wood, and I say are you interested I could make you soemthing, oh noo, I'll just make it out of pvc and cardboard if I am interested, :huh: , I need the practice I could use the money I like woodworking, I dont even make that much markup on my stuff making only a few dollers compared to the cost, so I am not world class, mass produced, but I can make it out of differant woods, and its made by hand each one one of a kind, and it will last you a whole lot longer then that cardboard job. I can say though the inginuity of many of the cosplayers is great who would have thought to use some of the stuff they do, like old stuff laying around and make it absolutly useable, like sheet plastic swords, or beercan armor, or using old blankets to make a costume out of, or even old 5 gallon buckets for hammers or armor.

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