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I've finally found now what? Seeking some people's thoughts.

#1 User is offline   rondo 

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 08:22 AM

A little background.

I used to live in GA back in the day up until 14. I had a number of friends during that time. Two of them, sisters, could be considered best friends since we hung out almost every day.

I move to OH and try to keep in contact with them but that doesn't last long (1990). I don't have many options during the 90's to find them and in 2000, I start to leverage the internet in my search but the available tools were still lacking. Today, there is such a wealth of information on people, it is kinda scary.

Because of a newspaper obituary, a public records website, and facebook, I was able to finally find one of the two.

I was able to friend her and last night she confirmed that she was who I thought she was. So she asks...

"How have you been?"

For a moment, I sat there kinda dumbfounded. It's been a good 18 years since I've talked to this person or read a letter from them (letter? wow..). I thought about it for a moment and went generic with "things have been alright". I kinda had no idea what to say at that juncture without rambling on for hours..or days.

If you found someone after so many years, someone you had been looking for, what do you say to them when they ask you.."How have you been"?

For me, this is a first.

Oddly enough, I think I may have pinned down my adopted sister..who I last contacted longer than 18 years ago. That conversation may not be as cordial though.

#2 User is offline   Valkyrie 

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 10:27 AM

I've had this happen with a number of old friends. While it's a little awkward, to be sure, I usually do the same thing you did, then ask how they've been. Conversation may continue, or resume at a later date. But it's okay to have a little ice-breaker, so to speak, especially after so many years.
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#3 User is offline   YoungBirdcall 

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:05 PM

This is a tough one. Since you seem legitimately interested in reconnecting with this woman, I'd just start by mentioning the novelty of the internet, and how technology allows people to connect after being apart for so long.

But no matter how you open the conversation, it might be a little awkward or forced. I mean, at this point in your lives, what do the two of you have in common? You haven't spoken to each other in 18 years, so there's probably not a whole lot that you can say to each other, beyond describing the direction that your lives have taken since last you spoke.

But the bottom line is that you were friends as children, and you might still be able to be friends today. Tell her about your home in Ohio, your job, and your interests & hobbies. She'll most likely reciprocate. If that conversation becomes an amiable one, it will be easy to transition into other topics so that the two of you can get to know each other better.
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#4 User is offline   STVO 

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 05:08 PM

There's nothing wrong with this IMO. Maybe it's a little weird to see someone who you haven't seen in so long but I would just tell her how your life has been and what you like to do, where you work, etc. I always like to re-connect with people from my past. Sometimes we become friends again sometimes it ends in a very brief talk. Whatever happens, best of luck to ya! :D
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