Woke up in the middle of the night Wrote what was in my head
Posted 26 August 2010 - 02:36 AM
The depressions fade as sky turns earth, His impact is forgotten.
His hands are black, he walks. His feet are black, he walks.
The depressions left grow shallow, more quickly consumed by the sky.
The earth was soft, now hard, as the man of the north trods on.
The man knows not, he has no feet with which to feel the earth.
The man knows not, he has no hands with which to clean his eyes.
The man of the north trods still on, the earth becoming thin.
Until upon the earth he treads, the earth becomes no more.
The man of the north walks no further.
Posted 26 August 2010 - 02:28 PM
Darkness was all around me... in my coffin.
My dreams are all nightmares anymore.
And this is what I dream every night.
Currently reading: Text on a screen
Currently playing: Mind games
This is a turkey ---> o3o
Posted 27 August 2010 - 12:14 AM
No. it's really good. it creates a great visual. But, reading it again, it sounds fine the way it is.
You're right. A happy ending like that just wouldn't fit.
At the end I just imagine this guy going into a mist.
This post has been edited by burgundyflour: 27 August 2010 - 12:14 AM