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Shy Cosplayers For those who want new nerdy friends

#1 User is offline   OhSoChibi 

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 11:36 PM

I was really into cosplay and had many wonderful nerdy friends but something happened and I stayed away from anime and cosplay and everything for two years. I pushed a lot of people away and have had trouble making friends in general. Now I really want to say hi and get out there and make new friends. I'm just really shy when it comes to meeting people and I've been out of the loop for awhile so I'm not caught up on a lot of animes and con stuff. So...tips for shy cosplayers please? Or congoers in general...but cosplaying just makes me twice as self conscious even if I do love it. Orz...

Please help! >< and sorry if this topic seems out of place.

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#2 User is offline   JoeSomebody2 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 12:19 AM

Rather than give advice, I think I'll just take what advice there is to be given as well. I may have been coming to ACen for a few years now, but I feel more like an alien than ever. My own issues with depression than anything, but the lack of communication with ACen folk for over a year doesn't help it. So this next con is going to be VERY interesting. :P

#3 User is offline   CrimsonAnime 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 12:49 AM

I don't know how helpful I will be on this but I will give you the advice that has helped me.

I am a little shy...a lot shy actually. My first ACen I didn't know the people I roomed with at all and had never been to a convention or even cosplayed before in my life. The only thing I did have was that I knew...somewhere....some friends from school were bound to be there.

I...tore...apart...the forums. The online community was super helpful in getting to feel more comfortable with the calibre of people I would encounter at ACen. I also made use of the meetups to get to know more people. They were smaller, had something to keep everyone busy and helped me make friends - or at least acquaintances.

As for anime - netflix is really helpful for me. I don't know all the newest anime (still haven't watched Attack on Titan, panty and stocking, or ouran host club) but just watching something new to me gets me excited to be around anime lovers.


I hope this helps a bit.
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#4 User is offline   Voxx 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 01:30 AM

You can try going to different gatherings and panels of anime that you are interested in and that might make it easier to say hi or "hey youve got a cool cosplay" or "I love that show! Who is your fav character"? I am pretty shy at first so it really takes a lot to push yourself to just say hi but you can do it! I feel like being in cosplay helps me come out of my shell more and makes it easier to spark a convo or have someone come up to me to talk first.
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#5 User is offline   Raenef 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 02:19 AM

Oh I know that feeling all too well.

On normal days I avoid eye contact and speaking to people I don't know. But at a con, I turn into a pretty decent social butterfly...Cons just have a weird effect on some people! All you need to remember is that at ACen, everybody is there because they all love the same kind of things. (And I've learned a trick to meeting new people. Sit by a wall that's not in the way, look interesting, and people WILL gather. It has happened at every con I've gone to.)

As for cosplay? Being self-conscious doesn't last for too long. After a few times of people saying 'ooh, nice costume' it's pretty easy to get on a pride high. And if you like your costume, be proud of it. It makes it even better, and people pick up on that.
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#6 User is offline   MsLovelyCookie 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:43 AM

I know how you feel. I stopped watching anime full time after 2008 so I have seen some anime shows from time to time and I would love to see what I have been missing in all the years I haven't been able to watch. Life happens and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Oh and work too! Having some coworkers who watch and talk about anime from time to time, it's helpful. Yet I volunteer for the convention. It's fun since I get to talk to random people who will forget me. Did you know that having the same birthday as the person you talk to helps break the ice? As for cosplaying I say go back to the basic: something simple that makes you feel like your cosplaying but that people know who you are cosplaying. Then work your way up.
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#7 User is offline   OhSoChibi 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 12:53 PM

Thank you guys for all your advice! It's all really helpful! The fact I even got replies and heard I wasn't alone made me feel a lot better. ^^ Thank you

This post has been edited by OhSoChibi: 06 April 2014 - 12:53 PM

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#8 User is offline   Genichiro 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 04:54 PM

Going to the gatherings helps out~ It helped me out during my first ACen, when I came out here, and didn't know anyone (everyone I knew couldn't make it that year). Once you get going with a good conversation, things will open up from there :3

#9 User is offline   Fantasia 

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 05:00 PM

if you are shy go for the simpler cosplay and not something too extravagant. It would make you stick out.
And I agree with Gen. Gatherings are great for meeting new people =.
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#10 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 01:07 PM

*Starting up conversations while waiting in lines.
*Attend the numerous Meet&Greets during ACen and/or the various cosplay photoshoots.
*Bring a heavy polar bear.
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#11 User is offline   OhSoChibi 

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 11:56 PM

Thank you for the tips! I'll do my best to incorporate them when ACen is here! :)/>

This post has been edited by OhSoChibi: 08 April 2014 - 03:17 PM

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#12 User is offline   Whodigiya 

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Posted 09 April 2014 - 02:37 PM

Last year I went to ACen and A-Kon by myself and I found a few things helped me out.

First off, I posted a bunch here on the forum and heard about the meet and greets. They're a lot of fun and I made some great friends that will be rooming with me this year. Even the most chance encounter can turn into a wonderful friendship so it's definitely a good idea to put yourself out there.

That said, "putting yourself out there" doesn't necessarily mean throwing caution to the wind and going way outside your comfort zone. One of the easiest ways to strike up a conversation with someone is with cosplay. It's a talking point AND it conveys the idea of similar interests. Plus, if you're really shy, it allows you to be or feel like someone else for a day in an environment where it's acceptable. Talk about your costume, your favorite show, their favorite show, how they put their costume together and just go with it. Not everyone will be your friend, but I can almost guarantee that you'll have someone to talk to by the time it's all over.

Realize that this is a convention: most of the people there paid money to attend something that was relevant to their interests, so virtually everyone there will sync with you at that most basic level. Don't worry about being nerdy or shy, because plenty of people there are the same exact way. Just go be yourself!

Lastly, if you decide to go with a group you should try to be open. It's way too easy to go as a group and end up "cliquing up" and not meeting new people. Now if you end up cliquing with a group of strangers and hitting it off well then go for it! Mission accomplished.

I spent fifteen minutes talking to a wonderful girl I met at a meet and greet at ACen and now we're seeing each other. Just a little smalltalk and some follow-up and I really lucked out. I ran into another guy I met at that same meet and greet and we had lunch everyday of the weekend. Now we're hosting a panel together and he's coming down to A-Kon with me. I went in alone and came out with some great new friends. If I can do it ANYONE CAN! ACen is a great place!
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#13 User is offline   RogueShinobi 

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 07:17 AM

The angst of waiting for a con to arrive and trying to find a small group of people that you can trust and understand is always the hardest for me. I have always been an introvert and have struggled to maintain many of my so called "friendships". I realized that rather than have a bunch of "friends", I would rather have a close knit group of people that I can consider a family.

But meeting new people is the only way to figure out who would fit into a group. As others have said getting out there and test your comfort zone. If people judge you for being you then they are not the right people for you. By being yourself you will should find it easier to make friends.
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#14 User is offline   KirbyFanOne 

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Posted 10 April 2014 - 10:57 AM

I've made it a point when I go to Denver this June to try and make at least one friend. Most people in Aspen don't know what I talk about half the time and are more focused on being ski bums than what I like, so even if I have to drive three hours to hang out with someone I actually like and can get along with, so be it. So you are definitely not alone in this.
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