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To friend, or not be friends with A very big decision to make

#1 User is offline   Femme Fatale 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 01:52 PM

Ok here's the deal...

Last month I won two free tickets to a Cubs game. I was really, really excited :thumbup: . Unfortunately, they were for a night game. Now I'm a Sox fan. If the tickets were to a Sox game and if it were a night game, believe you me I would've gone. Now came the task to find who I'd give the tickets too. I thought about one person. I messaged him via Facebook and asked if he would be interested in taking them. He said yes. Then I asked him how he'd like to have the tickets given to him, either by mail or to see me at work and I would give them to him. I gave him the address and number to where I work and he said he'd see me soon. Well that worked out well didn't it right? Here's where the problem lies; its now June 23rd, the game is June 26th. I'm beginning to suspect that he will not keep his word in getting the tickets from me. This means I'll be hanging like a fish on a hook with two tickets. An attempt should have been made by him to call, even message me if he doesn't want the tickets and this would give me time to give them to someone else. I'm sure all of you have been in positions like this. You try to do something nice for someone and they do a complete 180 on you. Instead of keeping one's word, looks like that word is going to be erased. If on Tuesday at 5:00 pm, if he doesn't call to let me know he's coming to get the tickets from me, or if he can't commit, then I will "unfriend" him from my Facebook friends list. The way I see it is, as a friend you must carry the qualities of loyalty, respect, honesty, dependability, trust, and a host of others. If you don't have either one, then I don't want anything to do with you. So today through Tuesday, I will make the decision. Give me your two cents if you'd like, friend him or "unfriend" him. If you say "unfriend" should I give him my two cents? Tell him how I feel?
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#2 User is offline   Valkyrie 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 02:13 PM

Or you could also try contacting him to make sure he still wants the tickets.

He may have stuff going on that has prevented him from picking them up, and neglected to tell you. But you shouldn't be leaving all the communication to him - you should be keeping in touch, saying "hey, I still have these tickets, do you still want them?" He may not realize that you want him to get the tickets now, instead of waiting.

Besides, unfriending over something like that (especially when you haven't attempted further communication yourself) sounds ridiculously petty. What if you unfriend him and find out he had personal issues going on behind the FB scenes?
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#3 User is offline   Isamu 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 03:45 PM

Another reason I am not on facebook. Unfriend him.
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#4 User is offline   Tiamat97 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 06:01 PM

honestly that sounds like the stupidest reason to unfriend someone. if hes just been getting on your nerves a lot or everything he posts is always negative and your tired of that then thats pretty good reason to unfriend someone. course if you dont talk to him much and hes more of an aquaintence maybe its more understandable
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#5 User is offline   STVO 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 07:07 PM

I say contact him and if he responds, just say "Hey can you let me know ahead of time next time, I'm on a time crunch?" Or something like that. He should let you know since you were kind enough to do this for him. If it were me, I wouldn't unfriend him unless he continues to further be rude, but that's just me. I've had friends hold off last minute on things that prevented me from doing things or causing me to lose money, most of them were for legit reasons but there have been a few times it was something silly.

You kind of just have to have patience or if you think someone is taking too long on a timely matter such as this, just give them a nudge. Lol

This post has been edited by STVO: 23 June 2012 - 10:41 PM

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#6 User is offline   FlyingElf 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 10:39 PM

More or less whats been said here. Unfriend someone for whatever reason you want. But lets face it, 90% of your facebook friends aren't people you have any kind of close, personal relationship with and I don't expect much out of them.

I'd just contact him with a quick message. Hey, haven't heard from you about the tickets. If I don't hear from you by tomorrow, I'm going to have to give them to someone else as I don't want them to go to waste.
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#7 User is offline   Washu Takahashi 

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 11:51 PM

View PostValkyrie, on 23 June 2012 - 02:13 PM, said:

Or you could also try contacting him to make sure he still wants the tickets.

He may have stuff going on that has prevented him from picking them up, and neglected to tell you. But you shouldn't be leaving all the communication to him - you should be keeping in touch, saying "hey, I still have these tickets, do you still want them?" He may not realize that you want him to get the tickets now, instead of waiting.

Besides, unfriending over something like that (especially when you haven't attempted further communication yourself) sounds ridiculously petty. What if you unfriend him and find out he had personal issues going on behind the FB scenes?

This is exactly what I wanted to say. Really? Unfriending him because he didn't let you know? My own mother forgets to do things I ask her to if I don't remind her.
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#8 User is offline   Femme Fatale 

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 07:25 AM

Thanks for your responses everyone. I 100% agree with Flying Elf. I shouldn't be quick on the draw to remove him from my FB friends list because he didn't pick up tickets from me. All I thought about was making sure he kept his word to me. I did send him a message this morning and we'll just wait and see what happens. I wont be upset with the outcome. I'll still be a friend to him. Once again thanks to you all!
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#9 User is offline   Kii 

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:49 AM

You don't need a real reason to "unfriend" someone on Facebook.I "unfriend" people who post stupid statuses all of the time.Sounds like he kind of pissed you off and you aren't totally close, so might as well.


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Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:09 PM

View PostKii, on 25 June 2012 - 01:49 AM, said:

You don't need a real reason to "unfriend" someone on Facebook.I "unfriend" people who post stupid statuses all of the time.Sounds like he kind of pissed you off and you aren't totally close, so might as well.



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#11 User is offline   Femme Fatale 

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 08:27 PM

Update: I received a message from him this morning which said that he and a friend of his were staying an extra day in Philadelphia. By coming back the next day, he would have no way in getting the tickets from me. He apologized to me and suggested that I go in his place. I told him that's ok, no prob, and whatever else I "win" or if anything comes my way, that I'll let him in on it.

Also I gave the tickets to a really nice perosn.

So there you have it. I almost did the despicable by unfriending someone because didn't keep his word to me. I felt so bad. I felt like I was a spiteful, "word that rhymes with witch". It also took talk from my mother and sister to set me straight.

Now everything's fine! Its all good. I learned my lesson, a very valuable lesson. I hope not to make the same mistake again.
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#12 User is offline   STVO 

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 10:23 PM

View PostFemme Fatale, on 25 June 2012 - 08:27 PM, said:

Update: I received a message from him this morning which said that he and a friend of his were staying an extra day in Philadelphia. By coming back the next day, he would have no way in getting the tickets from me. He apologized to me and suggested that I go in his place. I told him that's ok, no prob, and whatever else I "win" or if anything comes my way, that I'll let him in on it.

Also I gave the tickets to a really nice perosn.

So there you have it. I almost did the despicable by unfriending someone because didn't keep his word to me. I felt so bad. I felt like I was a spiteful, "word that rhymes with witch". It also took talk from my mother and sister to set me straight.

Now everything's fine! Its all good. I learned my lesson, a very valuable lesson. I hope not to make the same mistake again.



Glad things worked out for you. What it comes down to is patience and communication. Sometimes we let the worst case scenario thoughts get into our heads too much (I know I'm guilty of it at times, lol.) We make mistakes or judgments we wish wouldn't have made, but yeah that's life. IMO you did the right thing and I'm glad it's all well.
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#13 User is offline   sentinel28a 

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Posted 27 June 2012 - 03:43 AM

You're a good person, Femme. :clap:

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#14 User is offline   Isamu 

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Posted 27 June 2012 - 11:54 AM

View Postsentinel28a, on 27 June 2012 - 03:43 AM, said:

You're a good person, Femme. :clap:

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Hello stranger, hope to see you next year.
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#15 User is offline   sentinel28a 

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Posted 27 June 2012 - 03:44 PM

View PostIsamu, on 27 June 2012 - 11:54 AM, said:

Hello stranger, hope to see you next year.


My current plan is to be there, but there's also a possibility that I will get to go to Japan at the same time as ACen. Understandably, I'll skip ACen for Japan...

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#16 User is offline   Femme Fatale 

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 09:17 PM

View Postsentinel28a, on 27 June 2012 - 03:43 AM, said:

You're a good person, Femme. :clap:

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Thanks man! Hey me and Excel didn't see you this year. We hope to next year :) .
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#17 User is offline   Femme Fatale 

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 09:21 PM

View PostSTVO, on 25 June 2012 - 10:23 PM, said:

Glad things worked out for you. What it comes down to is patience and communication. Sometimes we let the worst case scenario thoughts get into our heads too much (I know I'm guilty of it at times, lol.) We make mistakes or judgments we wish wouldn't have made, but yeah that's life. IMO you did the right thing and I'm glad it's all well.



Thanks B)
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