[LADY SAKURA]

Pashy-chan, on 16 February 2011 - 10:57 AM, said:

So I have a best friend that simply drains my energy. No matter what advice I give or help I offer, she continues to whine about life, drown in her sorrows, and repeat the same mistakes. It's been 6 years. To top it off, she's close friends with the one person who, throughout highschool, victimized and hurt me the most. And why? Because that person is best friends with the boy she's been crushing on. Today, she even admitted that if I did anything to jeopardize her non-existant chances with him, she would end our friendship. I know this seems like just a rant, but what it boils down to is this..

You ever have that friend you've known all or life, the one that claims to be a close friend, but only serves to stress and wear you down? The one that whines and groans yet never listens to any advice? Or repeatedly stabs you in the back then cries, begging for forgiveness?

I'm too nice of a person, and every time I try to end things, she starts the waterworks. ACen'ers.. How do you dump a best friend? And have you ever had to get rid of one as well?

OMG i knew this person before ick its the toxic friend thats hard to part ways from eventually the friend i had actually claimed i was some demon person in her path to godly ways *well ok she didn't say it that way but thats what she ment *i mean really turned the tables around making it seem like im the reason she's a whiny crybaby under the rule of her parents thumb at 20something yrs old i was happy about the split after that we stopped talking for 2 yrs then she suddenly started contacting me again wanting to "catch up" and guess who wanted to hang out when she heard me and my ex broke up right now we are only fb aquaintances but even that urks my nerves because she has gone to befriend my sisters on facebook and even my new close friend tsk tsk its annoying but ive given them all the warning that she's only being nosy so keep what you dont want her to see PRIVATE!!! lol but just from what you posted alone maybe just stopped talking to her don't call her for a week and see how that goes

[chibiskuld]

Honestly... sounds like BOTH of you should just relax.... And facebook dumping a friend is the coldest, most antisocial, cowardly way to cut ties with someone... I say just distance yourself from her til she calms down, but if she does, don't hesitate to hang out with her to reinforce the positive behavior...

[Lina]

Really? Facebook is such a big deal that it's so bad if you defriend someone? Wow. I didn't know Facebook is such a huge part of someone's life that it would cause a disturbance in a friendship/relationship. I'm so out of the loop. I guess I must be cold, antisocial and cowardly for defriending people who I don't really even talk to anymore. I bet it will take her friend a while to realize that she has been defriended on facebook. Hell, I don't go through my facebook every day to see if someone defriended me. It's not that huge of a deal. She already talked it out with her and said she was going to tell her that she doesn't want to be her friend anymore. Defriending her on facebook is not a huge deal. Now if all she did was that and not tell her friend how she felt, then that's a different story.

I did not know Facebook is such a huge deal. I must be out of the loop.

[chibiskuld]

Lina, on 17 February 2011 - 08:21 AM, said:

Really? Facebook is such a big deal that it's so bad if you defriend someone? Wow. I didn't know Facebook is such a huge part of someone's life that it would cause a disturbance in a friendship/relationship. I'm so out of the loop. I guess I must be cold, antisocial and cowardly for defriending people who I don't really even talk to anymore. I bet it will take her friend a while to realize that she has been defriended on facebook. Hell, I don't go through my facebook every day to see if someone defriended me. It's not that huge of a deal. She already talked it out with her and said she was going to tell her that she doesn't want to be her friend anymore. Defriending her on facebook is not a huge deal. Now if all she did was that and not tell her friend how she felt, then that's a different story.

I did not know Facebook is such a huge deal. I must be out of the loop.

No.. it's quite the opposite actually. It's because this is a 'best friend' we're talking about here. Some people don't check facebook for weeks, imagine going weeks without knowing the person you've been hanging out with hated you, and didn't have the guts to just say it to your face. It's just cowardly.

Thats why.

Besides not just telling the person right away will only make the person more angry in the end.

This post has been edited by chibiskuld: 17 February 2011 - 12:17 PM

[S1NN3R]

Pashy-chan, on 16 February 2011 - 05:23 PM, said:

Gwaaaaaah!!! Thank you all so very much!!! ; ~ ; I love you guys times 20!!

I've taken each and every single word in consideration, and will do what I have to do.. tonight, while I still have the guts to do it!!! Luckily, we go to seperate colleges.. so I won't run into her as much if things to end.. Though we've shared the same group of friends throughout highschool.. so it may make for an akward situation this year at ACen, but I'll stay polite (and never catty >w<). You're all right.. this relationship is pretty toxic, and it seems many of you have had experience in dealing with this, so I thank you again!!

I think.. Dropping her completely will be my last (but inevitable) choice. I feel like I've known her forever, so it's true, it is hard.. but she has changed, and in all honesty, sometimes I feel I've out grown her... (Which is weird coming from childish me.. xD) Aigoo... She's stubborn, always has been, but tonight, I will tell her staight, and stronger than ever before!! > x < I can no longer handle how she consistantly brings me down with her. I've reached the point where I can no longer sympathize.. and if I keep pitying her, things'll just get worse.. My trust in her is only a shred of what it use to be.. and if she's not willing to grow up, we'll just have to move on. I'll just have to move on. I will move on!! I'll stick to my words no matter what, you guys!!

Oh. And then I'll hit "defriend!!" ^__^
...Did I mention I seriously love you guys? Like, seriously. Times 20. ;w;

Pashy-chan, on 16 February 2011 - 07:25 PM, said:

Aigooo... = x = Here's an update...

So she basically argued against everything I accused her of.. Everything: Her immaturity, her need to be pitied, and even the part about the guy.. but get this.. It wasn't that she denied what she said, but rather, defended her reasoning for it! I got so miffed by her ramblings that I just had to drop the conversation before I lost it.. Aiyaaaah... I think I'll take a chill pill for now... I'll tell her it's completely over later tonight.. =x= Such a bi...mbo... *Sigh*

Bleh!! Thank all of you guys again!! I seriously needed the support!! *De-friended!! >=O ...xD*

Pashy-chan, on 16 February 2011 - 11:19 PM, said:

Meeep!! Thank you once more!!! I will admit..we both have some growing to do... But I rather not have anyone in my life to hinder that.. ^^ I did it!!! Although I do feel a bit bad, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted! Thank you all!! ;w;

DONE!

I wish people would read completely BEFORE posting

[nouseforaname]

I shut out whoever need be.

[Pashy-chan]

S1NN3R, on 17 February 2011 - 01:01 PM, said:

DONE!

xDD Gwaaaaah!! Thank you quite very much S1NN3R!! Indeed, all is done!! oxo; The facebook bit was in a sense, a joke... I mean, we all defriend others to clean up our lists!! And best friend or not.. it's nice to finally get rid of a leech.. TTwTT I am feeling so much better now (Seriously, I really am xD), and thanks to everyone!! No need to stress myself out over others any more!! Pew pew!!

[LADY SAKURA]

sometimes you have to do what you have to do

[nouseforaname]

S1NN3R, on 17 February 2011 - 01:01 PM, said:

I wish people would read completely BEFORE posting

I only ever read the first post where the question is, not other's opinions.

This post has been edited by nouseforaname: 17 February 2011 - 02:11 PM

[Kaay-chan]

S1NN3R, on 17 February 2011 - 01:01 PM, said:

I wish people would read completely BEFORE posting[/center]

^ This. I can understand if the thread is 5-10 pages, but...not 2. 2 Pages you can read. If some of the posts are walls-o-text, then you skim it, but there's absolutely no reason why people shouldn't at least make an effort to read the entire thread when it's that short.

[The Fujoshi]

You can't do anything about this person from what I read from the first post and skimmed from the updates...

She seems immature if she blames you for stuff that is clearly HER FAULT.

*hugs*

Don't feel bad though I had a best friend but it was a guy and basically he crushed on me...in high school. He thought I was a boy at first and randomly invited to his house on the first day, (I thought he was a creeper or whatever,) but apparently him and his mom is weird. His brother has a mental condition but is awesome compared to this guy because he's VERY whiney, complains a lot, hyprocritical, and gets down when things don't go his way like a very spoiled person. He was ok, more like a cute sad nerdy puppy at first who had an obvious crush to me that I didn't know about ^^; It didn't help his mom pushed MARRIAGE on us like a week or so after we met, but I thought it was a joke, (until I found out it was 100% serious...)

Then here comes my ex bf, who was also my best friend. During high school I was dating online with this guy from Waukegan, IL because I had major issues back then with my mom and her ex bf: he was cute and funny and we talked for a year before we met and started dating. My friend had no idea and after my first ex bf tried to hurt himself and his mom, (I thought he dumped me after not calling me,etc. for a year,) here comes my SECOND ex bf. He basically was a smooth operator: Talked to me, slowly warmed me up to him, and I told him everything compared to my friend, who was still crushing on me, and couldn't talk to me serious for some odd reason without stuttering.

So when me and my second ex bf started dating here comes a whole can of worms: My friend was jealous, his mom had the impression that they were dating and basically I dumped him for his best friend (since he was his friend as well,) and I found out he lied about a LOT of crap. After I started going out with my second ex bf my friend ran away to another state for college and came back different. He hated being touched, he became even more anal, and just flat out annoying and mean. Like everything about him above up 150% percent. Also me having regrets as well about not dating him and instead just hooking up with my jerkface ex bf, who is a loser, didn't help nor having a kid with him.

So we started getting more and more distance because he said 'That he prefers the company of my ex bf,' even though my ex bf stated that he wanted to hurt the guy when he first met him, only uses him for video games and his crappy computer, and just doesn't like him. The last straw between us was that he got new friends or attempted to, lied to them and me about a lot of things, and then when I invited him to Acen and he didn't make it, accused me of starting rumors and lieing to me at him to his friends because me and my ex bf ran into them at Acen 2010 and asked about my friend.

So it's over because he said he never wanted to be my friend EVER compared to my ex bf, who did worse, and said he was going to just, 'give him a good yelling.' But I can't never go to his house or talk to him again. Yeah...I used to think he was gay after me =_=

Sorry about the rant I had a hard week and this hit home. *hugs her again*

[chibiskuld]

S1NN3R, on 17 February 2011 - 01:01 PM, said:

DONE!

I wish people would read completely BEFORE posting

Ah, I realize the situation has been resolved, but it's more semantics at this point. sorry.

This post has been edited by chibiskuld: 17 February 2011 - 03:54 PM

[Pashy-chan]

The Fujoshi, on 17 February 2011 - 03:52 PM, said:

....
Sorry about the rant I had a hard week and this hit home. *hugs her again*

It's no problem at all Fuji.. o-o; I did ask if people had been through similar situations, after all.. but my goodness.. It sounds like you had some seriously rotten friends in the past.. And for him to bring all that madness to ACen is beyond me! Dx How ridiculous!! O-O The first guy seemed to have gotten his madness from his Mom.. That's just.. High Schoolers + Marriage = What? D: And as for both of your ex's... They're jerks, simply put. That must've been tough... For them to act out, lie, and run away afterwards?.. I would end contact with those people completely!! That is just so upsetting.. I really do hope they get what's coming to them!! T.T *Hugglies back..*

[The Fujoshi]

Pashy-chan, on 17 February 2011 - 04:04 PM, said:

It's no problem at all Fuji.. o-o; I did ask if people had been through similar situations, after all.. but my goodness.. It sounds like you had some seriously rotten friends in the past.. And for him to bring all that madness to ACen is beyond me! Dx How ridiculous!! O-O The first guy seemed to have gotten his madness from his Mom.. That's just.. High Schoolers + Marriage = What? D: And as for both of your ex's... They're jerks, simply put. That must've been tough... For them to act out, lie, and run away afterwards?.. I would end contact with those people completely!! That is just so upsetting.. I really do hope they get what's coming to them!! T.T *Hugglies back..*

At least it's over from what I read from more posts; my computer is still a crapshoot sorry ._. Also been out of town so I had a bad week....

Well what happen was: First bf tried to hurt himself and his mom and I talked to him a year later and found out he was in the mental place and took a lot of meds so that he doesn't remember the year we went out. I was with my second ex bf at the time because I thought he broke up with me and he didn't

The second ex bf is my kid's dad; we argue almost everytime we are together and his family is insane....no really like all of them are nuts. His mom is bi-polar his brother is a jerk and tried to kill me and takes meds, and his sister runs the streets and leaves her kid, who is like almost seven now, whoever can look after him and needs help. The major problem wasn't this; the problem that I left him was I had was that he is basically a womanized and cheated with his gfs with me twice, (until I said no more. Thank GOD.) Both times he promised to take care of his son and not be with them and take care of me. He knows I have issues with my self esteem and his mind games and when he tried that again I punched him in the face since apparently sleeping with me is fair game even with a gf and to this day he hasn't told her a thing and constantly complains about her.

My bf now is ok but HE LOOKS LIKE RUSSIA I make fun of this since he's like half Japanese but he looks like Russia from Hetalia with his BIG nose XD We been dating for four-five months now and he suppose to be going to Acen together.

But as for my friend he doesn't have anyone: My ex bf doesn't hang out with him since he has other people to mooch from, and better friends, and his other friends that he hung out with left him after they discovered what happen to Acen and that he lied to him as well so there is no hair off my back.

FYI he lives like in the same city like in the ghetto with me XD he's basically a bus ride away along with my ex bf.

It's no big deal just got into a ranting mood after a crappy V-day and my mom failing as usual ._.