[Keiichi-chan]

Pashy-chan, on 01 March 2011 - 05:42 PM, said:

I think I can understand both view points... But personally, in my opinion, the only case in which the individual shouldn't be blamed if they were, like Kasin said, manipulated and ultimately date raeped. The scenario isn't the best, I don't know many who go out on a drinking frenzy after a fight.. but I do have friends that simply party too hard, and although it is their responsibility to take into consideration the risk factors that are involved in doing so, it is never right to blame a victim for date raep.

1/3 victims are forced upon by close friends and even family members in this situation, and can you really tell someone it's not safe to party hardy with someone you trust? No. Of course, I don't drink, but if I did want to go all out in a drunken bliss, it would only be around those I hold dear to me, and sometimes, it is those who will take advantage of you. Any type of s3xu4l encounter without consent can, and usually is considered raep, whether or not you put yourself in that situation. Blaming someone and accusing them of cheating when they truly were taken advantage of is cruel, just as cruel as blaming the person who forgot to lock their door, got off the train late at night, or simply walked past the wrong alley. Were they being cautious? Definitely not, but it's cruel to think that society may judge them as the cause of their own victimization.

I went on a rant there...but... yeah... While I do agree that you are responsible for your own actions while under the influence, I don't find reason enough to blame someone for being manipulated. Unless you blatantly declared, "I'm having s3x with someone, tonight!", you shouldn't have to be judged as a culprit in your own downfall. You may not have taken every step to prevent a situation, but you certainly didn't cause it... Anyway.. That's just my perspective on things... @.@;; *Silently re-scurries off...*

it's only date-r*pe if someone slips you rohypnol or knowingly drugs you in some other way, and it isn't consensual. what i mean is, when the other person is undressing you and you aren't complying or whatever. if you're inebriated to the point that you don't even know where you are or what's happen, okay.

but if you're drunk and making out with someone and undressing and not telling the other person to stop, no dice. you're more than coherent enough to stop what you're doing. is it a stupid mistake you made? obviously, but you're going to keep making the same mistakes if you try to pass off the responsibility on the other person. is anyone you sleep with while drunk all of a sudden a rapist, because you weren't 100% sober? it's also really likely anyone you sleep with while drunk is intoxicated as well, so it's not like they're in their best state of mind, either.. if someone r*pes you while drunk, are they allowed the same 'well, i was drunk' get-out-of-jail-free card?

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 02 March 2011 - 09:50 AM

[Shinamura]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 March 2011 - 09:48 AM, said:

it's only date-r*pe if someone slips you rohypnol or knowingly drugs you in some other way, and it isn't consensual. what i mean is, when the other person is undressing you and you aren't complying or whatever. if you're inebriated to the point that you don't even know where you are or what's happen, okay.

but if you're drunk and making out with someone and undressing and not telling the other person to stop, no dice. you're more than coherent enough to stop what you're doing. is it a stupid mistake you made? obviously, but you're going to keep making the same mistakes if you try to pass off the responsibility on the other person. is anyone you sleep with while drunk all of a sudden a rapist, because you weren't 100% sober? it's also really likely anyone you sleep with while drunk is intoxicated as well, so it's not like they're in their best state of mind, either.. if someone r*pes you while drunk, are they allowed the same 'well, i was drunk' get-out-of-jail-free card?

I like tacos.

[Keiichi-chan]

Shinamura, on 02 March 2011 - 12:23 AM, said:

Sex scares you?

um..i'm pretty sure most people are afraid of sex before they lose their virginity.
trying anything for the first time, especially with someone else there to judge you, is going to be nerve-wracking if you're even slightly insecure or pensive as a person.

Quote

Huh well I guess we all have r phobia. But fear if sex.. Thats like fear of tacos.. Something so awsome can be scary to some I guess.

LOL! virgin talk, man! if it's your first time, it's probably not going to be this amazing, romantic porn movie experience..especially if you're the girl. i mean, it might be, but it's more likely to just be painful and awkward.

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 02 March 2011 - 09:58 AM

[Shinamura]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 March 2011 - 09:54 AM, said:

um..i'm pretty sure most people are afraid of sex before they lose their virginity.
trying anything for the first time, especially with someone else there to judge you, is going to be nerve-wracking if you're even slightly insecure or pensive as a person.

Hmmm well guess most people were afraid the first time. I never even thought of it as scary.

[Shinamura]

Also why does sex being awsome make me a virgin?

This post has been edited by Shinamura: 02 March 2011 - 10:04 AM

[Keiichi-chan]

Shinamura, on 02 March 2011 - 10:03 AM, said:

Also why does sex being awsome make me a virgin?

i was kidding, but not understanding how someone who's a virgin could be uneasy about losing their virginity gives me the impression you haven't experienced the losing my virginity thing enough to sympathize.

i'm sure i'm off-base as it was just a joke, but, in my experience, guys who talk about sex all the time are, very often, people who haven't gotten any yet, and are obsessing over it..>_>

[Shinamura]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 March 2011 - 10:06 AM, said:

i was kidding, but not understanding how someone who's a virgin could be uneasy about losing their virginity gives me the impression you haven't experienced the losing my virginity thing enough to sympathize.

i'm sure i'm off-base as it was just a joke, but, in my experience, guys who talk about sex all the time are, very often, people who haven't gotten any yet, and are obsessing over it..>_>

Welk thats insightfull I guess. From an odd point if view. Its weird to me because I wasnt scared when I had sex the first time. And the person I was with had more xp than me when it came to it. The only time I have ever been nervous was probly the first time with my ex gf number 3 I think mainly because I actully was in love with her.

[Jguy]

Shinamura, on 02 March 2011 - 10:15 AM, said:

Welk thats insightfull I guess. From an odd point if view. Its weird to me because I wasnt scared when I had sex the first time. And the person I was with had more xp than me when it came to it. The only time I have ever been nervous was probly the first time with my ex gf number 3 I think mainly because I actully was in love with her.

And it's post like this that made me want to bring hell to society every day.

you had sex multiple times before but you weren't actually in love with them? ;_; No offense to you personally, but I see this sort of thing all the time. Call me old fashioned, but quite honestly, sex = love = happiness. Maybe it was the way I was raised? Maybe it's my thought process? Who knows.

Arrgh to people. Arrgh to you!

[Keiichi-chan]

well, i'm speaking about a ladie's POV, i think.
plenty of guys just don't care and are happy to get the first time out of the way.

[Kasin]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 March 2011 - 09:48 AM, said:

it's only date-r*pe if someone slips you rohypnol or knowingly drugs you in some other way, and it isn't consensual. what i mean is, when the other person is undressing you and you aren't complying or whatever. if you're inebriated to the point that you don't even know where you are or what's happen, okay.

but if you're drunk and making out with someone and undressing and not telling the other person to stop, no dice. you're more than coherent enough to stop what you're doing. is it a stupid mistake you made? obviously, but you're going to keep making the same mistakes if you try to pass off the responsibility on the other person. is anyone you sleep with while drunk all of a sudden a rapist, because you weren't 100% sober? it's also really likely anyone you sleep with while drunk is intoxicated as well, so it's not like they're in their best state of mind, either.. if someone r*pes you while drunk, are they allowed the same 'well, i was drunk' get-out-of-jail-free card?

Your right, but the person in the show "was to the point that they didn't even know where they were, or what happened.".

I'm not even sure how the "being drunk used as an excuse" started a page back, because that wasn't in my question.

clearly if you know what your doing, or have the intention of doing it, then it's cheating, no excuse.

This post has been edited by Kasin: 02 March 2011 - 11:16 AM

[The Fujoshi]

Jguy, on 02 March 2011 - 10:32 AM, said:

And it's post like this that made me want to bring hell to society every day.

you had sex multiple times before but you weren't actually in love with them? ;_; No offense to you personally, but I see this sort of thing all the time. Call me old fashioned, but quite honestly, sex = love = happiness. Maybe it was the way I was raised? Maybe it's my thought process? Who knows.

Arrgh to people. Arrgh to you!

^THIS is me.

Actually I was a virgin pervert if that counts. I was told at 8 by my....'bakayaru' father about sex really really detailed and how abortions/sex without marriage was sinful and bad as well as having babies period. This plus my family made me weird about sex. I didn't know about yaoi and lemons until I was 14 or so and even then I didn't want to have sex unless I was married, maybe kids later, and only with one guy. My dad told me something about a woman sleeping around is looser than a virgin or a woman who is only with one man or very little men along with 'jerk' guys so this notion stayed in my head for a long time. But it didn't stop me from looking up and doing research so basically when I became an adult I was really ecchi but I haven't had experience at all. =_=' It hasn't changed even to this day.

It's more painful for women to have sex than men because of their hymen and other factors. Whenever it breaks it's painful and bloody and you can be sore for weeks afterwards. Even after it breaks it's painful to actually have sex for women without proper prep. work since a lot of guys just want to do it and get it over with. It might be 30 minutes or longer for a woman to get stimulated normally.

For a guy's case it's mostly on the women's end as well as their movement along with various other factors like chaffing but its almost always 50% or more of the time more painful physically and emotionally if women have sex or are sexually abused in any way. It's not saying that men can't suffer the same way but it's more common for women to get it due to 'double standards,' and other stupid factors like...we can get pregnant. But that's my opinion though.

I only had three bfs and even then paranoid about that myth about women. I don't feel good that I had that many since I only wanted one and I'm afraid to get another man. This also explains why I was in a toxic relationship for a long time. *shrugs*

[wrexness]

Jguy, on 02 March 2011 - 10:32 AM, said:

And it's post like this that made me want to bring hell to society every day.

you had sex multiple times before but you weren't actually in love with them? ;_; No offense to you personally, but I see this sort of thing all the time. Call me old fashioned, but quite honestly, sex = love = happiness. Maybe it was the way I was raised? Maybe it's my thought process? Who knows.

Arrgh to people. Arrgh to you!

Well there's nothing wrong with your way of thinking. I'm certainly not one to sleep around by any means, but it's not as though everyone I've slept with was someone I was in love with either. That said, I was at least a very close friend to all of my partners. I just can't do it unless I really know the girl.

This post has been edited by wrexness: 02 March 2011 - 08:48 PM

[Visadin the insane]

i am shy, worried about my wright, my flashes of anger that may drive people away, and something that i am not ging to say outright but well the hint is that i may not be up to my game.

as for sex goes,i really want it to be meaningful, i don't want to go into the pants of a women within the next 3 hours, i always find guys who walk around and say that their "players" or some slang like that it just remind's me of people just as bad as club free love from multiple people, worse since they most likely call women who sleep around alot like them free love from multiple people.

This post has been edited by Visadin the insane: 02 March 2011 - 11:20 PM

[The Fujoshi]

Anger is an easy thing; find the issue behind it. Like is it little things? Do you think before you act? Things like that. Some anger is good but how you react on it is bad. I have a temper myself but I also have a son and I cannot react when he messes up my manga or my anime. It's not that women but everyone in general would be happier Like count to ten or find ways to relax so you won't rage out and stuff. Also don't take things personally!

Hope that helps.

[Ramza Beoulve]

The Fujoshi, on 03 March 2011 - 12:30 AM, said:

Anger is an easy thing; find the issue behind it. Like is it little things? Do you think before you act? Things like that. Some anger is good but how you react on it is bad. I have a temper myself but I also have a son and I cannot react when he messes up my manga or my anime. It's not that women but everyone in general would be happier Like count to ten or find ways to relax so you won't rage out and stuff. Also don't take things personally!

Hope that helps.

Yeah, for the last like 6 months my girlfriend has been really stressed and takes out her anger on me, because I want to spend time with her. She can't commit to me, can't dedicate herself. So its over. :\

[Jello]

Pretty sure ive figured out why ive stayed single... i have a fear of commitment. i hate the idea of being locked/tied down to someone. Plus i need my space i cant handle someone bothering me all day and night long i get extremely annoyed and when that happens i just check out mentally. Although dont get me wrong sometimes i wish I had a significant other.... one day.....

[GITS SAC Motoko]

I'm single because I don't want to be tied down anymore. I don't want to have to report to someone what I'm doing, where I'm going and why. I am not obligated to see anyone all the time and I don't have to worry about what someone else is feeling. Plus I have so much time to do MORE! Instead of hanging out with the bf, I can do whatever my heart's desire without him following me or wanting to follow me like a little puppy dog. I like to have my wandering eye. ;3

[Wingy Baby]

Jeez, necro much? Haha.

[Prayer Police]

I'm single because I'm so damn perfect and no woman on this planet is good enough for me...............wadumminit

[GITS SAC Motoko]

Wingy Baby, on 09 March 2012 - 11:15 AM, said:

Jeez, necro much? Haha.

we gave the thread a Phoenix Down and now it's all better. :3

[MsLovelyCookie]

MsLovelyCookie, on 04 February 2011 - 10:25 AM, said:

I don't get to go out much because I would always tell people that I have to go home to take care of my little brother who has Autism, so no one in my family has to worry about him. If I do need to go some where my family freaks out 'What to we do now?' My manager even joked that I am a 2 for 1 deal, marry me and you get my brother for free. Then again I'm not comfortable with boys since I lack experience being around them

I still feel the same as what I said last year. I never got to live my teenage years so why not start now. As the saying goes: Good things comes for those who wait. Eventually I want to find someone and have my happily ever after but I don't want to wait forever but the wait shall be worth it.

[kenkendazo]

MsLovelyCookie, on 10 March 2012 - 12:05 AM, said:

I still feel the same as what I said last year. I never got to live my teenage years so why not start now. As the saying goes: Good things comes for those who wait. Eventually I want to find someone and have my happily ever after but I don't want to wait forever but the wait shall be worth it.

qft

[Jeff]

I'm single because I don't get out enough to meet people.

[Wingy Baby]

kenkendazo, on 10 March 2012 - 12:24 AM, said:

qft

Thirded. It'll happen when it happens. No sense bum rushing into anything. :>

[kenkendazo]

Wingy Baby, on 10 March 2012 - 12:48 AM, said:

Thirded. It'll happen when it happens. No sense bum rushing into anything. :>

and thus, qft yet again

[LordCanti]

canti seems to stay single because every relationship i try get with seems to go south with the birds. :x

[XenoBlade]

..why is this back up?

And I want to say something so bad, but I won't. Lol

[LordCanti]

im sure its for the best you dont <_>

[XenoBlade]

Oh yes, im sure you'll agree. Lol

[Grimmons]

I'm single because I like making decisions for myself and not having to consider anyone else. I like being single because I get to spend time how I want to spend it. I honestly don't care if it ever happens but if it does, it does.