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Break ups

#1 User is offline   IchigoKitKat 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 05:18 PM

What have you done to get over a significant other? XD Discuss!
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#2 User is offline   Ranko 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 06:40 PM

It's simple, I've never had one to begin with. No dates, no dances back in high school, no nothing.
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#3 User is offline   Stkbayfield 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 07:09 PM

Depends on wether it's worth "getting over" or not. The only break-up I've ever suffered (and I'm ashamed to admit, initiated) was with the woman who would become my wife. Five years and an ocean away, I was convinced our long distance relationship was doomed to failure and I called it off to prevent future pain. She consistantly proved that I was an idiot for thinking such a thing and we managed to plow on regardless, getting back together within months.

Five years later, we're married and happy and cosplaying up and down the country.

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#4 User is offline   GITS SAC Motoko 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 07:50 PM

I usually just do things to get my mind off the break up. Usually I just get out and do things with friends, family, etc. I also watch some anime too that helps a little. I try to find a new series and focus on that during times I would probably would have hung out with the ex, and that helps get over it for me. I also talk to someone like a best friend or something about it, just to let it off and tell the story. It seems to help because it's not bottled up inside anymore. ^^
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#5 User is offline   FlyingElf 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 07:53 PM

I always suggest doing something nice for yourself. Go out, buy yourself something, or do something you always wanted to do. Alternately spend time with friends as good friends will always help you get back on your feet. Or at least take your mind off things for a time.
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#6 User is offline   blackcat18 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 08:06 PM

i just move on...i've been the one that's broken off my relationships so it's never been too hard for me
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Posted 17 October 2010 - 08:45 PM

this is where friends and family really help..oh.. and DDR :P

#8 User is offline   Jeff 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 08:47 PM

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 09:15 PM

Ugh yea, it's not fun especially if it was long term.

You are allowed a grieving period, everyone is but when you are ready you need to buckle down and do a few things. Making exes immediately as friends never work out so first thing first remove that person from all social networks and then their phone number. Remove any pictures, gifts or reminders you have around the house that was from the relationship. Don't hold onto pictures, delete, tear, burn them. If you really want to hold onto them, put them in a shoebox and keep it out of close distance. This gets rid of any temptation of staring at them and wallowing over the past.

Next you focus on you. The fear of being alone scares the crap out of anyone whether they admit it or not, so don't rush and find someone right away. There is plenty of time to put yourself back out there. As FlyingElf said, go treat yourself to something. If you can afford it take a day off work/school etc etc and just unwind. It's a lot of mental and emotional weight you need lift off.

Go out with friends and people close to you, you deserve it. No matter what side of the relationship you were on [the break-uper or break-upee] getting in laughs and smiles is a really good way as well to get over the past.


#10 User is offline   Voxx 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 09:46 PM

Learn that it is a part of life and that pretty much everyone has experienced it. Learn from it and move on. =D

Friends and family help, plus indulging yourself in activities that you like to do.

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#11 User is offline   Alkaren Hyralt 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 09:57 PM

Open a beer and move on.
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#12 User is offline   KnitChick 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 10:13 PM

I finally am fully getting over my long term relationship that crashed and burned. Luckily he completely disappeared from my life after ending it (or rather claiming we were "going on a break" but "still dating"... jerk), but it still hurt. We were together nearly four years and it took me longer than that to fully get past him.

Part of what helped was making new friends by attending Acen! After a year and a half of moping with no friends (since he'd cut me off from all my friends), I decided to go to Acen to make new friends. I'm happy to say I made lots of really great friends, I love you ALL!!!!! I also finally reconnected with two of my best friends from college (who I then dragged into staffing Acen with me bwahahaha).

The other big part was finding Mr. Right. Yeah I'm thinking he is Mr. Right. We started talking online a little over a year ago (he friended me on LJ 58 weeks ago, I just looked), met in person just slightly over a year ago, and back in the early summer shortly after Acen he started asking if I was interested in dating. Part of me was like "NO I'm still not over Joe!" and the other part was "OMG we have a lot in common and I love talking to him get OVER it self!" so I asked for a little time. Did some soul searching and worked on my ex issues and then said yes let's go for it. We're approaching our three month anniversary of dating and I'm totally in love.

So the tl;dr version is -- friends, time, and finding a much better guy is what helped me! :D
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#13 User is offline   Lina 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 11:00 PM

View PostKnitChick, on 17 October 2010 - 10:13 PM, said:

The other big part was finding Mr. Right. Yeah I'm thinking he is Mr. Right. We started talking online a little over a year ago (he friended me on LJ 58 weeks ago, I just looked), met in person just slightly over a year ago, and back in the early summer shortly after Acen he started asking if I was interested in dating. Part of me was like "NO I'm still not over Joe!" and the other part was "OMG we have a lot in common and I love talking to him get OVER it self!" so I asked for a little time. Did some soul searching and worked on my ex issues and then said yes let's go for it. We're approaching our three month anniversary of dating and I'm totally in love.


That's so cute!!!! I hope things keep going well for you! My boyfriend and I are approaching our 14 month anniversary. It's on Halloween. :)

As for break ups, cry! Let it all out! When this guy I dated for a year dumped me, it hurt and I was really sad so I cried into my pillow and continued to cry until I couldn't anymore. It was hard when he dated someone who was on the high school bowling team (I was on it) so he would come to our meets to watch her bowl. We ended up going to the same community college and we passed by each other some times. It took a couple of years to really get over him, but I eventually did and it feels great! Especially since I'm with someone I love so much. :wub:

Take break ups as a learning experience. See what went wrong and try to learn from it.

This post has been edited by Lina: 17 October 2010 - 11:01 PM

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View PostFoolish Humon, on 13 June 2010 - 07:19 PM, said:

Ladies ladies ladies, if you find a man whose only concern about a woman is her breast size, he just may be dumb enough to believe you if you say you have Ds when you have Bs. :thumbup:

#14 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 11:17 PM

The hardest part of breaking up is getting back your stuff.
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#15 User is offline   LADY SAKURA 

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 12:25 AM

umm a great set of friends can do the trick of helping distracting you but also most of the things you have to do on your own i can't say im all that healed its almost a year ago we had 5yrs together and i don't think im fully ready to move on everytime some one suggests dating i get highly defensive and i trust no one but im still working on it i had hoped id be fully over him by now but it seems to be a work in progress im over him enough to live my life no matter what.
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#16 User is offline   wrexness 

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 06:13 AM

I just dove into playing video games and watching anime and going to work. My daily routine, really. There wasn't much to get over because I was the one who initiated it, and I was just done with the relationship at that point. My heart wasn't in it so not much point in continuing to drag it out.
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#17 User is offline   TaiyakiOni 

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 09:02 AM

When my longest relationship ended I was crushed, depressed and completely clueless how to take it. I went shopping and must've dropped about $150 bucks in one day ( Day I bought the entire CCS collection ) then went home, ate some good food and then binged on cookies with a friend. It was a tough break up after dating for 5 years and it hurt, it hurt so bad that 2 months later I found myself in another relationship that lasted a bit over a year which I ended because I realized I was in it to just try and cover up from the previous break up.

Breaking up hurts, it hurts you and it hurts the other person and effects the people around you too, like the friends you both have that now have to pick sides when the break up occurs.

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#18 User is offline   Jace MPUA 

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 04:39 PM

A break up depends entirely on who proclaimed it and what you wnat to do about it. If you have a situation in which
you just want to get rid of remorseful feelings, then wait about a month, and start going out to clubs, bars, or maybe
even to your school and meet new people. There's no reason to look back, especially if your intention is to move on.

We call that "Oneitis". Oneitis can take place at any time, before or after a relationship. You get the feeling that
you really need that other person in your life, and it becomes very hard for you to now think about. When it gets that
bad, the person with oneitis will act differently/desperatley around the person they feel the attration toward, and
about 99% of the time, they just end up creeping out/annoying/ pushing away that person.

Break ups aren't easy, especially since all that love, trust and work went in the relationship. But if you look back,
you'll only see wasted time, lost moment, and happy times you'll only miss. But, if you look forward and around, you'll
start seeing new people, new possibilities and new fun to be had. The best way to get over a break up it to go meet new
potential mates and people, even if you don't pursue a relationship immediatly, you have to remind yourself that you have
options, that your worth it, thay THEY are missing out, and when they see you with a new, sexy, gf/bf, they're going to
realize it, but by then you don't care what they think ;). Hope that helps.

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#19 User is offline   nouseforaname 

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 05:45 PM

Straight edge for four years and counting. Don't need anyone.
Mighta been a time when I loved her too but you take that away, you always been the one.

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 08:43 PM

With the only significant other I had in my life, it took a long long time before I finally came to terms with my breakup. Several things I realized: yes, you are allowed time to cry/scream/get angry/be alone etc, but then you do have to pick up the pieces and move on with your life. One thing that helped me was coming to terms with and taking the time to think about what exactly didn't work out and where things started going wrong, and the most important part of it is to not make the same mistakes again. It made me realize how unprepared I was with that relationship and how differently I should have acted. I'm a bit of an introvert, so I may be biased here, but I didn't talk to my friends about the breakup (not a subject I like bringing up, plus I still have a huge inferiority complex and thought it made me look like a giant failure), and since my parents actually helped drive more nails into the coffin, I couldn't turn to them either. If I could have had a truly trustworthy friend to talk to, it would have probably been a lot easier. I didn't binge eat, recklessly shop, drink, or date to try and get over my breakup since I knew that I would have to face all the pain eventually in order to completely close that chapter of my life.
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#21 User is offline   Animexcel 

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Posted 19 October 2010 - 12:02 PM

I heard this topic on the radio yesterday morning. Write down a list of stuff you hate about the ex.
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#22 User is offline   sentinel28a 

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Posted 19 October 2010 - 09:18 PM

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Posted 31 October 2010 - 02:34 PM

Do crap you love and be happy.

It's a simple answer, but it's the truth. Love is often romanticized as need, but there's no one in the world you can't live without but yourself. Think about it.
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#24 User is offline   nouseforaname 

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Posted 31 October 2010 - 02:46 PM

View PostAnimexcel, on 19 October 2010 - 12:02 PM, said:

I heard this topic on the radio yesterday morning. Write down a list of stuff you hate about the ex.

I didn't listen in but I remember being told this. Pretty much a list of cons without the pros. It helps throwing out photos and notes too. It's real hard but if you manage that, it'll be a huge help on your end.
Mighta been a time when I loved her too but you take that away, you always been the one.

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#25 User is offline   Dark Stranger 

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Posted 02 November 2010 - 10:48 AM

View PostAlkaren Hyralt, on 17 October 2010 - 09:57 PM, said:

Open a beer and move on.

Second. Although I subsitute vodka for beer.
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Posted 02 November 2010 - 11:08 AM

View PostDark Stranger, on 02 November 2010 - 10:48 AM, said:

Second. Although I subsitute vodka for beer.


Johnny Walker, Wild Turkey 101 or Jameson here, but drinking when your depressed will just make you more depressed.
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#27 User is offline   Prayer Police 

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Posted 02 November 2010 - 11:37 AM

Any forum members break-up with each other?
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#28 User is offline   nouseforaname 

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Posted 02 November 2010 - 01:49 PM

View PostPrayer Police, on 02 November 2010 - 11:37 AM, said:

Any forum members break-up with each other?

Policy #1. Don't date people from the same school you go to unless it's college. A big college.

Policy #2. Don't date people that go to the same event as you.

Policy #3. Don't date pepople immediately after a break up.
Mighta been a time when I loved her too but you take that away, you always been the one.

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Posted 02 November 2010 - 01:58 PM

View Postnouseforaname, on 02 November 2010 - 01:49 PM, said:

Policy #1. Don't date people from the same school you go to unless it's college. A big college.

Crap.....

Quote

Policy #2. Don't date people that go to the same event as you.

Double crap......


#30 User is offline   nouseforaname 

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Posted 02 November 2010 - 02:24 PM

View PostSongstressLenne, on 02 November 2010 - 01:58 PM, said:

Crap.....

Double crap......



Obviously it was a joke, except for the first one. I'll tell you a story just to prove it.

"So one day, nouseforaname, liked this one girl. She was artistic and yadda yadda. After several months of chasing the girl he liked, they both started to go out. Then one day something bad happened and the two broke up. Without noticing it the night of the break up, nouseforaname forgot that he sat next to his now ex in class for the rest of the semester. What was even worse was that the professor wouldn't allow the two to move since they were partners to the others to their left and right." The end.

And that my fellow forum members is why you should at least be careful with who you date in school.
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