[sentinel28a]

I have to add something, because I can see this getting out of hand at the next ACen.

If someone comes up to talk to you, about your cosplay or because he/she thinks you're attractive, that's not stalking! That's called "social interaction." I mention this because it seems like if I were to come up to a cute girl and say, "Hey, that's a nice Rukia cosplay you've got there, can I take your picture," her response based on this thread is to scream "CREEPY STALKER! RUN! CALL IRT!"...then whip out a knife and/or handgun and commence with the stabbity stab and the bang-bang.

Some people just want to make a new friend, or just talk shop with fellow fans. It doesn't matter if they're attractive or not so much (hell, I'm no prize). It's a convention, people! You're supposed to be talking with others outside your circle of Facebook friends.

Now if the person starts following you around everywhere, shows up at your hotel room at 3 AM--when you didn't tell them where your hotel room was--and starts making comments about how much he/she would like to strip off your hakama and lick your eyeballs, then yes, that person is indeed a stalker and IRT should be notified. Running them through with a sword or blowing their heads off with a high-powered rifle is only legal at cons in Montana, Alaska and Canada. And maybe Idaho or Maine.

I only mention this because it seems to me that this is where the discussion is heading. If someone comes up to me and wants to talk Evangelion because I'm dressed as Gendo, I don't automatically assume it's Hannibal Lecter with some nice fava beans and a Chianti back at his/her hotel room.

As far as the knife thing goes, I carry a knife with me virtually at all times, including when I'm at ACen. It's not that I fancy myself a Jim Bowie, knife-fighter of the Wild Frontier. It's because a knife can be a handy little thing to have on you. You never know when you might have to open that vaccum-sealed Gundam model, or cut some threads off your cosplay, or cut your seatbelt off if you're trapped in a burning car on the Kennedy.

If IRT wants me to turn it in, I will, but I carry my knife for safety reasons, not in the hopes that I'll get to see BLOOD BLOOD BRIGHT RED BLOOD.

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"That's what my katana is for"

[HaruHE]

Nicely put Ben, I hope this will be able to shed some sort of insight as to the difference between "Friendly" and "Stalker", let's hope this doesn't get people in the wrong sort of mood set now to where overreaction will be imminent if it's someone you don't know, and consider everyone else a stalker.

[Morbid Intentions]

sentinel28a, on 02 October 2010 - 04:25 PM, said:

I have to add something, because I can see this getting out of hand at the next ACen.

If someone comes up to talk to you, about your cosplay or because he/she thinks you're attractive, that's not stalking! That's called "social interaction."

I'm pretty sure everyone kind of had this under consideration... at least I did

and 99.9% of the time security does not even need to know.... the stalkee can simply tell the sorry sod off and he will go snuggle up to his anime girl love pillow and cry to sleep

in other words.. no reason to bother a third party if it can handled by yourself or with your initial group.... after the initial tell off if they persist (which as I've said before, will not happen 99.9% of the time) THEN you should bring security into it... they have enough to deal with at these things (this is coming from a guy who has and still works top shelf security and PI work on the side)

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 02 October 2010 - 04:50 PM

[Tiamat97]

sentinel28a, on 02 October 2010 - 04:25 PM, said:

As far as the knife thing goes, I carry a knife with me virtually at all times, including when I'm at ACen. It's not that I fancy myself a Jim Bowie, knife-fighter of the Wild Frontier. It's because a knife can be a handy little thing to have on you. You never know when you might have to open that vaccum-sealed Gundam model, or cut some threads off your cosplay, or cut your seatbelt off if you're trapped in a burning car on the Kennedy.

If IRT wants me to turn it in, I will, but I carry my knife for safety reasons, not in the hopes that I'll get to see BLOOD BLOOD BRIGHT RED BLOOD.

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"That's what my katana is for"

yay someone else who sees things like i do, i carry a knife on me all the time, i use it a lot at work and many people are always asking if someone has a knife on them to cut something

[Keiichi-chan]

there was this middle-aged gentleman crossplaying at the 2010 acen, who kept licking his lips and mumbling to himself..he was mumbling something akin to 'yes...yes..i like girls, yes.' if you've ever seen freaking SLINGBLADE, he sounded exactly like freaking SLINGBLADE.

creepiest dude i have ever seen.
it took me so long to realize it wasn't an act and that he wasn't joking.
i think he kept asking her to show her legs more in the picture and mumbling, 'yes..legs. i like girls' legs, yes..' HOW DOES ACEN EVEN ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT INTO THE CON??

then there was a bunch of years back when i was with friends, and this guy took a bunch of pictures of their digiko cosplays for a site. right after taking them, he made sure to awkwardly shout, 'ahahahahaha! don't worry, i won't remove your clothes in the picture and put them on the internet or something weird like that!!!..heh!'

i think certain cosplayers, especially if you're in anything overly loli cutesy or skanky and skimpy, need to accept that dudes are going to oggle and drool and stare and try to be polite about it. it's an anime con. there are lots of lonely, awkward men there. as long as they're not being really aggressive or falling you around, it's mostly harmless. i've seen a few cosplayers be really rude when people ask for their pictures or whatever.

[Alkaren Hyralt]

sentinel used smilies I didn't even know we had in his post. D:

But as always, if you are being bothered by someone you can always notify IRT or a staff member for help.

Keiichi-chan, on 02 October 2010 - 05:18 PM, said:

there was this middle-aged gentleman crossplaying at the 2010 acen, who kept licking his lips and mumbling to himself..he was mumbling something akin to 'yes...yes..i like girls, yes.' if you've ever seen freaking SLINGBLADE, he sounded exactly like freaking SLINGBLADE.

creepiest dude i have ever seen.
it took me so long to realize it wasn't an act and that he wasn't joking.
i think he kept asking her to show her legs more in the picture and mumbling, 'yes..legs. i like girls' legs, yes..' HOW DOES ACEN EVEN ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT INTO THE CON??

then there was a bunch of years back when i was with friends, and this guy took a bunch of pictures of their digiko cosplays for a site. right after taking them, he made sure to awkwardly shout, 'ahahahahaha! don't worry, i won't remove your clothes in the picture and put them on the internet or something weird like that!!!..heh!'

i think certain cosplayers, especially if you're in anything overly loli cutesy or skanky and skimpy, need to accept that dudes are going to oggle and drool and stare and try to be polite about it. it's an anime con. there are lots of lonely, awkward men there. as long as they're not being really aggressive or falling you around, it's mostly harmless. i've seen a few cosplayers be really rude when people ask for their pictures or whatever.

I've had creepy fangirls follow me around in the past doing the same thing. I think large social events of a niche group are always going to bring out a few quirky people - just be cautious. There's plenty of shy people who may just want to talk to you...and not creep on you.

Or follow you around in sit in your lap ._.;

[XenoBlade]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 October 2010 - 05:18 PM, said:

there was this middle-aged gentleman crossplaying at the 2010 acen, who kept licking his lips and mumbling to himself..he was mumbling something akin to 'yes...yes..i like girls, yes.' if you've ever seen freaking SLINGBLADE, he sounded exactly like freaking SLINGBLADE.

creepiest dude i have ever seen.
it took me so long to realize it wasn't an act and that he wasn't joking.
i think he kept asking her to show her legs more in the picture and mumbling, 'yes..legs. i like girls' legs, yes..' HOW DOES ACEN EVEN ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT INTO THE CON??

then there was a bunch of years back when i was with friends, and this guy took a bunch of pictures of their digiko cosplays for a site. right after taking them, he made sure to awkwardly shout, 'ahahahahaha! don't worry, i won't remove your clothes in the picture and put them on the internet or something weird like that!!!..heh!'

i think certain cosplayers, especially if you're in anything overly loli cutesy or skanky and skimpy, need to accept that dudes are going to oggle and drool and stare and try to be polite about it. it's an anime con. there are lots of lonely, awkward men there. as long as they're not being really aggressive or falling you around, it's mostly harmless. i've seen a few cosplayers be really rude when people ask for their pictures or whatever.

Well those are generally creepy. But I'm quite sure only about half of the people actually had an experience like that.

[Keiichi-chan]

@xeno and morbid,

yeah, you're mostly right. creepy stalkers are just shy, cute nerd guys if they're attractive enough. but, i mean, attractive people get better treatment in every facet of society, why do you expect anime fans to be any different?

it's true, but complaining seems kind of..pointless?
the majority of people are shallow, nerdy or non-nerdy.

fangirls might be MORE shallow than the norm thanks to all the bishie men present in popular anime, guys..

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 02 October 2010 - 05:29 PM

[XenoBlade]

Keiichi-chan, on 02 October 2010 - 05:25 PM, said:

@xeno and morbid,

yeah, you're mostly right. creepy stalkers are just shy, cute nerd guys if they're attractive enough. but, i mean, attractive people get better treatment in every facet of society, why do you expect anime fans to be any different?

it's true, but complaining seems kind of..pointless?
the majority of people are shallow, nerdy or non-nerdy.

fangirls might be MORE shallow than the norm thanks to all the bishie men present in popular anime, guys..

Yeah complaining is pointless. I'm more or less tired of hearing left and right someone being called a creeper, when they are just awkward.

Sides, I don't blame fangirls for being shallow. Fanboys are the same way too. Let the someone else who is heavier and less attractive then the first cosplayer, and it's almost a fact that those guys would pretty much ignore her. so everyone is wrong.

*shrugs* can't really do anything about it. haha

[Keiichi-chan]

well, i definitely think being the 'shy' kind of awkward stalker is much, MUCH better than being the really aggressive, super-talkative kind who won't get the message and back off.

some shy person following you around can be sad and adorable in a way, i think, but when people just don't take no for an answer, or keep hitting on you really aggressively...=\

xeno, i think 'attractiveness' gets graded on a curve sometimes at cons, anyway. like, style doesn't come into play if someone is cosplaying as a character who either dresses really cool, or one that the other person is a huge fangirl/fanboy of.

sometimes, if you're just the only _____ cosplayer at a con, you're going to get hit on by every single person who swoons over that character by default. unless it's a really crappy cosplay. do a really obscure character with a ton of fans and BAM! the person is bishie by default (sometimes).

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 02 October 2010 - 05:54 PM

[IchigoKitKat]

XenoBlade, on 02 October 2010 - 01:57 PM, said:

Man, I agree all too well what you are saying. I've noticed stuff like this. (Granted like with what Ichigo said, if someone is attractive and stalking, and just because he/she is attractive, the person lets their guard down and something happens.)

But anyways tho, yeah, no matter how you slice it, you RARELY ever hear anyone complaining about an attractive person being a stalker.

I challenge someone to have a story of an attractive person "being a stalker" that is a personal story and not one on the news.

However I must also add, that it's also like a cumulative effect. Most unattractive people are automatically dismissed. (because well, they don't appeal) So with no experience, SOME (as there are some who are creepy on purpose perse) are accidently creepy because they don't know how to come correctly since they never really get a chance.

Just my insights to why creepers exist since I swear I only hear it among the anime subculture.

I have a story =D! I went to Wisconsin dells not too long ago and I sat into this hot tub. A handsome young stranger sat next to me. He began to converse and we had lots of fun. I walked away, without giving him my number. An hour later he was behind me in line at a concession stand. We spoke again, but I was becoming a little scared. 4 hours later, and I'm heading to my hotel room....guess who was behind me? The same blonde haired blue eyed hunk. He pressed me against the wall of the hallway and whispered "So....do you want to get things heating?" I shook my head and ran off. The next day he was in the same hallway. He had an evil look in his eyes "Why are you resisting me? Am I not beautiful enough for you? Psh, you're a snob...someone should teach you a lesson...." he grabbed onto my wrist, I began to scream. X_X;

[Kii]

Lina, on 01 October 2010 - 02:51 PM, said:

Hahahaha. XDDD I'm gonna have to stalk you just to see that face. XDDD

Alkaren Hyralt, on 01 October 2010 - 03:26 PM, said:

lolol I agree with Lina, I gotta see that face.

KirbyFanOne, on 01 October 2010 - 03:30 PM, said:

If Kii notices a giant shrub following her, she'll know who it is.

Kaay-chan, on 01 October 2010 - 04:53 PM, said:

Let's go back to talking about stalking Kii, shall we? I vote a bunch of us organize a Shrubbery Cosplay Group! >=D

Stalk and you can receive.
Disapproving faces.

[Saturn's Pheonix]

Tiamat97, on 01 October 2010 - 04:05 PM, said:

well it is called a pocket knife for a reason, its supposed to be in your pocket or used as a tool

hey I know how important it is to have one, I don't exactly live in a nice neighborhood so I keep one that goes with me to and from my car. I also carry pepper spray for when I'm out late hours after work with or without coworkers as sometimes they like to drag me to the bar and the drug people and gang people like to hang around the street the bar is on.

[Voxx]

This is kind of being blown out of proportion...

I think most people can tell between a shy loner nerd versus a creepy pervert/stalker. Granted, they can be combined into the shy loner nerd creepy pervert stalker. But you can usually spot that right away by the camera phones...

[KirbyFanOne]

Ska, on 02 October 2010 - 11:28 PM, said:

Granted, they can be combined into the shy loner nerd creepy pervert stalker.

A Sluncps?

[Kaay-chan]

Morbid Intentions, on 02 October 2010 - 04:49 PM, said:

I'm pretty sure everyone kind of had this under consideration... at least I did

and 99.9% of the time security does not even need to know.... the stalkee can simply tell the sorry sod off and he will go snuggle up to his anime girl love pillow and cry to sleep

in other words.. no reason to bother a third party if it can handled by yourself or with your initial group.... after the initial tell off if they persist (which as I've said before, will not happen 99.9% of the time) THEN you should bring security into it... they have enough to deal with at these things (this is coming from a guy who has and still works top shelf security and PI work on the side)

I actually find this kind of offensive, because it's so dismissive. I'm starting to wonder if you really understand what the word "stalker" means, because most real stalkers don't back off that easily. That's why there's such a thing as a restraining order. I think what most people here are talking about whey they think stalker is less the awkward guy talking so quietly that you cant tell if he's talking to you or himself, and more the guy who seems to be absolutely everywhere you go and looking at you in a weird way that makes you really uncomfortable.

[Keiichi-chan]

IchigoKitKat, on 02 October 2010 - 06:55 PM, said:

I have a story =D! I went to Wisconsin dells not too long ago and I sat into this hot tub. A handsome young stranger sat next to me. He began to converse and we had lots of fun. I walked away, without giving him my number. An hour later he was behind me in line at a concession stand. We spoke again, but I was becoming a little scared. 4 hours later, and I'm heading to my hotel room....guess who was behind me? The same blonde haired blue eyed hunk. He pressed me against the wall of the hallway and whispered "So....do you want to get things heating?" I shook my head and ran off. The next day he was in the same hallway. He had an evil look in his eyes "Why are you resisting me? Am I not beautiful enough for you? Psh, you're a snob...someone should teach you a lesson...." he grabbed onto my wrist, I began to scream. X_X;

jesus christ..
i hope that's the end of that story.
no one should be physically touching anyone unless
they're giving them the okay via body language, smiling, or verbal..something! geez...

Quote

A Sluncps?

lmao.

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 03 October 2010 - 12:24 AM

[Ranko]

This thread explains why 90% of the people I attempted to converse with avoided me at the last Acen.... I fit the description of the unattractive overweight person, therefore I must be a stalker, lol, ya learn something new everyday.

[IchigoKitKat]

Keiichi-chan, on 03 October 2010 - 12:22 AM, said:

jesus christ..
i hope that's the end of that story.
no one should be physically touching anyone unless
they're giving them the okay via body language, smiling, or verbal..something! geez...

lmao.

yeah basically it did end like that. He just ran away and didn't bother me again. Yeah, I'm ok with pats on the back, kind gestures, hugs, etc as long as I feel the person has a sense of warmth to them and I've given them the ok. If they don't and they try to touch me, I tend to twitch....which may seem rude but it just happens

@ Ranko
How did you approach the people? I think first approach has a great impact. If you compliment someone too quickly it might give them a bad vibe/ suggestion.

This post has been edited by IchigoKitKat: 03 October 2010 - 02:18 AM

[FlyingElf]

Ranko, on 03 October 2010 - 01:47 AM, said:

This thread explains why 90% of the people I attempted to converse with avoided me at the last Acen.... I fit the description of the unattractive overweight person, therefore I must be a stalker, lol, ya learn something new everyday.

This is why I prefer to dwell in the realm of vaguely creepy. I can still have social interactions with people, but if I play my cards right I can also be the guy that everyone kinda gives nervous smiles and waves to.

[Emberlynn]

I have had a stalker.

given my experience, I'm not sure what I would do in a convention setting.

thankfully, I'm too old and fat to stalk now. (even when I'm finished losing my weight ... gratefully ... I'll still be too old to stalk)

there are creepy people who simply like to hang around - because they admire you so much ... but I don't really consider them stalkers -- yes, they can be creepy, but personally ... I don't consider them to be stalkers. When you see these people, I'd just mention "ah, there you are ... AGAIN." sometimes, they don't realize what they're doing is creepy.

HOWEVER ... *to me* a stalker is someone who knows your schedule .... where you live, where you work, and where you go for fun. You change your number ... move, they STILL find you, know what you drive, or what ever mode of transportation you take. you see them EVERYWHERE, because they show up where ever you go. Then there are the stalkers who you don't see all the time, but they wind up showing up at places ("accidentally") you'd least expect them ... for example, DR appointments or job interviews.

A stalker ... A REAL stalker .... I don't wish that on anyone.

Creepy is annoying ... but I'd just let someone know who it is, if they show up where you are -- just head to (IRT for example) that they're making you uncomfortable ... I'm pretty sure they have a policy in place for harassment of attendees.

[Ranko]

IchigoKitKat, on 03 October 2010 - 02:16 AM, said:

@ Ranko
How did you approach the people? I think first approach has a great impact. If you compliment someone too quickly it might give them a bad vibe/ suggestion.

As far as I know I was simply asking for pictures most of the time, in the same manner that my friends were... I am however a bit socially awkward... so I may have been coming off creepy.

[Jeff]

A lot of people wanted to hug me at the con. Probably because I'm cute.

But they all asked first, or gave me some indication otherwise.

Except this one guy who totally glomped me and claimed to be the estranged son of Urahara and Yoruichi. That was kind of creepy, but he turned out to be pretty cool and funny.

[Morbid Intentions]

Kaay-chan, on 02 October 2010 - 11:55 PM, said:

I actually find this kind of offensive, because it's so dismissive. I'm starting to wonder if you really understand what the word "stalker" means, because most real stalkers don't back off that easily. That's why there's such a thing as a restraining order. I think what most people here are talking about whey they think stalker is less the awkward guy talking so quietly that you cant tell if he's talking to you or himself, and more the guy who seems to be absolutely everywhere you go and looking at you in a weird way that makes you really uncomfortable.

well I'm not here to make you feel at home and accomodate to your needs, I'm here to speak the truth

and it's the truth

sorry

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 03 October 2010 - 01:48 PM

[sentinel28a]

Morbid Intentions, on 03 October 2010 - 01:40 PM, said:

well I'm not here to make you feel at home and accomodate to your needs, I'm here to speak the truth

and it's the truth

sorry

Mmm. And one person has a monopoly on the truth. No dissension allowed.

Ben Da Mad Irishman

[Morbid Intentions]

sentinel28a, on 03 October 2010 - 01:51 PM, said:

Mmm. And one person has a monopoly on the truth. No dissension allowed.

call it what you will but regardless it's "getting a 3rd party involved" 101... if someone is bothering you I really hope you have the balls to tell them off BEFORE you go to security.... just jumping on the security bandwagon is pretty freaking dumb if they are just creeping you out and nothing more... and they probably do not even know they are having that effect because 95% of the people in this world do not tell people the brutal honest truth and try to be everyone's neutral

I see female friends get creeped on every con... you know what else I see? them just sit there and be creeped out and not say anything to the guy, someone else always has to make up an excuse for them as to why our group should leave the situation

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 03 October 2010 - 02:11 PM

[Kaay-chan]

Morbid Intentions, on 03 October 2010 - 01:40 PM, said:

well I'm not here to make you feel at home and accomodate to your needs, I'm here to speak the truth

and it's the truth

sorry

Right, now excuse me while I go to your profile to see if you have an actual picture of yourself there so I can be sure to know what random con-goer to not come up to to ask for help if I find myself in a situation where I think I might have a stalker and am unable to get a hold of any of my friends.

...

and done.

[wrexness]

Way to grossly oversimplify things there, buddy. Sure, it's easy enough to talk about "being honest" and "speaking up" when you're a toned, larger male. Try doing it as a 100 lb female with a man twice her size coming onto her. She has no way of knowing what's going to happen. She has no clue if he has a gun or a knife, or if he'll follow her to her room or not; it becomes even worse if the guy is under the influence of booze or other substances. You have zero right to tell someone else how they should feel in a given situation. That's the very reason IRT is there. If they respond and find that the person's intentions aren't malicious, then the response team can work it out. If not, then she already has some form of protection from physical harm.

[Kaay-chan]

wrexness, on 03 October 2010 - 02:55 PM, said:

Way to grossly oversimplify things there, buddy. Sure, it's easy enough to talk about "being honest" and "speaking up" when you're a toned, larger male. Try doing it as a 100 lb female with a man twice her size coming onto her. She has no way of knowing what's going to happen. She has no clue if he has a gun or a knife, or if he'll follow her to her room or not; it becomes even worse if the guy is under the influence of booze or other substances. You have zero right to tell someone else how they should feel in a given situation. That's the very reason IRT is there. If they respond and find that the person's intentions aren't malicious, then the response team can work it out. If not, then she already has some form of protection from physical harm.

*hits the proverbial "like button"*

[Morbid Intentions]

Kaay-chan, on 03 October 2010 - 02:54 PM, said:

Right, now excuse me while I go to your profile to see if you have an actual picture of yourself there so I can be sure to know what random con-goer to not come up to to ask for help if I find myself in a situation where I think I might have a stalker and am unable to get a hold of any of my friends.

...

and done.

LOL

okay, to everyone else who has a head on their shoulders and has an understanding of how things work... tell the person how you feel first before you bother other people with useless drama that will probably be solved by telling the "creeper" how you feel

that's like 101 OF 101, don't run crying to security if the person is not even aware of how you feel about him hanging around... you seem like the type of person that will call security on some socially awkward guy for being friendly and tagging along with you for a bit and then he's left holding the "WTF, I did not even know I was being a bother" bag when he's being talked to by security

"gross oversimplification" was not implied, gross oversimplification was assumed on account of people in love with drama it seems... it's just the way it is, most of these people do not have ill intentions and when they find out they are bothering someone they will back off... if they do not, THAT is when security can come into the mix... this give and take scenario is used in a lot more things than con stalkers... it's the bread and butter of calling the authorities as well... the police ask what? "well does he know you don't want him coming around here? is there a restraining order? no? no? well then you just wasted our time and we have to tell him what you should have

and what is wrong with being an 100lbs female and speaking your mind? what is someone going to do at a con? really? you're playing that card? yeah, someone is going to get mad and stab you in front of 500 passerby's... LOL

that just seems like a sexist comment to me, I know plenty of hot headed smaller females that make people larger than me back down very easily... why? because unlike in your handy scenarios NOT EVERYONE IS OUT TO RAPE YOUR BUTT AND SLIT YOUR THROAT

you two are just acting like every person that comes off creepy are serial killers that will not acknowledge what you are saying to him and not stop contact with you because their goal is most definitely to make people feel weirded out ::rolls eyes::

I never said going to security is wrong... but going to security premature on the subject is wrong... there are always going to be exceptions but the exceptions are the people you guys are holding onto for a case, most people will just say "oh, I did not know I was bothering you" get depressed, and leave you alone... because half of these people are just lonely or desperate... that is it

in the rare event you tell someone and they push harder, continue to follow, stalk/creep... by all means, contact security... THAT is my point... if you have a problem with it then I question your intelligence

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 03 October 2010 - 03:26 PM