FlyingElf, on 18 June 2010 - 12:33 AM, said:
I really think its one of your first point thats key. They're trying to stop more violence in the schools. Its a move that benefits the school community more than the individual students. Plus theres probably some study about developing better social skills if you talk to more people. Which is probably true, but while social skills are important, it seems to almost be the absolute factor in most of these studies. All kids must develop in a normal fashion.
Violence in school - especially on the scale of something like Columbine - is a result of bad parenting, not having best friends. This like trying to treat cancer with a punch in the face, the treatment has nothing to do with the problem, and certainly won't make things any better.
I agree with the actual
psychologists that were quoted later in the article.
“Do we want to encourage kids to have all sorts of superficial relationships? Is that how we really want to rear our children?” asked Brett Laursen, a psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University whose specialty is peer relationships. “Imagine the implication for romantic relationships. We want children to get good at leading close relationships, not superficial ones.”
Many psychologists believe that close childhood friendships not only increase a child’s self-esteem and confidence, but also help children develop the skills for healthy adult relationships — everything from empathy, the ability to listen and console, to the process of arguing and making up. If children’s friendships are choreographed and sanitized by adults, the argument goes, how is a child to prepare emotionally for both the affection and rejection likely to come later in life?
“No one can teach you what a great friend is, what a fair-weather friend is, what a treacherous and betraying friend is except to have a great friend, a fair-weather friend or a treacherous and betraying friend,” said Michael Thompson, a psychologist who is an author of the book “Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children.”
I want my kids to grow up to be real
people, not robots who don't know how to truly love and care for another. You don't get that if you look at everyone equally. It's sad but true, a fact of life, people play favorites. Maybe instead of marrying a single woman, I should just get together with every person in the country, I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out or anything afterall.
I don't want my kids sheltered so that they're punched in the face by life when they get out on their own, I want them to at least be able to deal with people in the real world. Not everyone is going to like you, suck it up, get over it, move on.
JoeSomebody2, on 18 June 2010 - 05:27 AM, said:
I'm going to be the sore thumb and say it doesn't sound like that bad an idea? Maybe the reasoning behind it all, but the idea of having only one person to rely on for anything has always seemed a little...foolish. If that person ever left, that's a pretty big hole to fill up. If anything, the focus should be on teaching healthy social skills, ones which will actually prepare them for the world they don't really show in schooling.
Me, I wish I had made the effort and met other people than my best friends (heck, I wish I opened up to them better than I did, but that's another story). Learning to cope with others is essential. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be close to a few people, because we need that to. If we shared ourselves with everyone, we would be in another social nightmare altogether. It's all about balance.
People move, people have fights, and some unfortunate times, people die. How are you supposed to be able to deal with that if you don't have - and yes, sometimes lose - those close bonds? The friendships they're pushing are superficial, that is not a good way to grow up. Who are you going to rely on when things get tough? Would you really be able to truly confide in someone if they weren't truly close to you?
Part of growing up is learning to deal with the curveballs that life tosses out you, preventing kids from experiencing the bad times does nothing but make them less prepared for real life, not more. You can't raise a kid in the plastic bubble. You yourself are able to look back and evaluate your life, and I would hope that it allows you to try to make improvements in your life today. You wouldn't be able to do that if you hadn't struggled at some point. If the teachers are doing everything for you, you can't speak for yourself, and you won't grow up to be a stronger individual and a better person.