[Stkbayfield]

For those who are not married yet, learn this life lesson. Nights on your own are PARADISE. This does not say anything bad about the person you love and are married to, but it's time to chill, not worry about shared activities, ignoring or paying too much attention to... it's time to just do whatever your other half doesn't enjoy.

Recently I spent this time playing Horror videogames which she refuses to be near, because they're too scary. Well "horror" is a loose definition. I'm not talking Yume Nikki (a game she is terrified of forever after watching for 3 minutes) or Fatal Frame (a game I am terrified of for watching for 3 minutes), more Resident Evil.

Cut a long story short, I'm on my own for the entire night, played my game and got my butt handed to me and I am in a sore mood, even though it's the most fun outlet right now, I'm too annoyed to play the game. So I turned it off and looked for something else to do.

I looked through my 30+ DVDs.

I looked through my library of videogames. Of graphic novels. Books I am stuck reading. Heck even albums I want to revisit.

None of them feel appealing and I cannot start any without getting all knotted up, frustrated and turning them away or off.

Internet is as helpful, every topic seems trivial and not worthy of responce, every news article seems boring etc etc.

Does anyone else get trapped in this self impossed boredoom zone (the extra o is an emphasis, not a typo), how does one combat it and how does one avoid it?

This post has been edited by Stkbayfield: 05 June 2010 - 07:28 PM

[Tiamat97]

yeah i always have that problem, its the same with food. as for video games its normally i dont want to play them cause ive beaten them already, and i acrually dont read so books are already out of the picture. and i guess its not that we dont have food its just we dont have readily made food

[Ishoku Osero]

I have that problem an awful lot. It's been better the past year or so because I've been keeping up with anime as it's coming out in Japan, and I have more shows to watch each season that I actually end up keeping up with... so whether or not I feel like I'm in the mood for new episodes, I'll watch them and it'll turn out fine anyways.

I haven't been on forums lately for the reason you stated, though. It definitely feels like more often than not, there are topics that either just aren't appealing, are geared for a younger age range, or seem pretty useless. I'll get on here still and browse once or twice a night, but the rest of the forums I had been on for years just aren't appealing anymore... possibly because I'm getting older and the newbies on those forums keep being around middle and high school range, and there really isn't much to talk about with kids.

[Stkbayfield]

I'd entirely agree with that perspective, Ishoku. Sad are the days we look upon our childhood playgrounds and find that though those surrounding you have grown with the enrivornment, the playground is ripe with new blood of whom we can associate and empathize, but never truly be on the same mental and emotional wavelength as.

It's easy enough to find new communities more suited for the older and wiser, aged and matured or simply experienced and nostalgic; but there will always be a fondness for the places we have long since outgrown.

I'm new to the ACen boards, though, so not reached that point. Still, it's quite sobering to think about.

My own experience is from Sonic the Hedgehog communities. Back in the old days when we got our first CG images of Rouge the Bat and Shadow, there was so much talk, excitement and fun in the air. Now the place is filled with the 20-somethings who were tween/teen back in those days, and when Sonic Colors is announced, an apathetic shrug is produced.

This post has been edited by Stkbayfield: 05 June 2010 - 07:47 PM

[Ishoku Osero]

Yeah, definitely. It's even harder to really deal with it when the forums aren't for a specific topic or interest, though. I go on a couple avatar forums, one of them that I've been on since it began (Roliana, I haven't been on Gaia for years in case you were thinking that ), and while there are still a few of us there that are older and have things to say to each other once in a while, the vast majority of the newbies can't seem to stop making school-based threads, things like that. I look at the titles and think to myself 'I really don't want to read things that I went through over 5 years ago, personally', and then before I know it all I'm doing online is browsing anime figure sites like amiami, because I'm bored out of my mind since the sites I used to be on all day are no longer interesting.

As far as being bored of the ACen forums, I haven't exactly been here for very long, I signed up years ago and didn't actually attend until last year and this year, and wasn't really even on the forums much until this year. But I always feel so disconnected from the other posters since it seems like everyone has their friends, that I just don't get much enjoyment out of being on here. So I'll check if something might catch my eye, and then I won't be back on until the next day to quickly browse through again.

[Ranko]

I hate nights on my own, I'd love to have someone to hang around with all the time, but alas I am an "unlovable loser". Insult courtesy of the last girl I asked out.

[Ishoku Osero]

Ranko, on 05 June 2010 - 08:37 PM, said:

I hate nights on my own, I'd love to have someone to hang around with all the time, but alas I am an "unlovable loser". Insult courtesy of the last girl I asked out.

I remember those times. I tend to scare people away pretty quickly so I never really made decent friends until recently. I just have one friend that's been with me since I graduated from high school, and other than that I had no-one I could actually trust to be... well, sane, until the past year here. I've definitely been dubbed the 'unlovable loser' more than a few times in my life, so don't give up. Just keep making friends, eventually you'll find some that'll stick by you, at least for longer than a couple months.

[Stkbayfield]

It's definitely a growing thing. Which is a shame. You'd think a rich love of books and a working knowledge of the human psyche would be enough to enrich your social circle. Neither one of you are losers and certainly not unloveable, just different in an environment where no one truly gets you. Ranko, you know people about these places like you, and it wont be long before con/net friends bleed out into every day life.

[Ranko]

Ishoku Osero, on 05 June 2010 - 08:47 PM, said:

I remember those times. I tend to scare people away pretty quickly so I never really made decent friends until recently. I just have one friend that's been with me since I graduated from high school, and other than that I had no-one I could actually trust to be... well, sane, until the past year here. I've definitely been dubbed the 'unlovable loser' more than a few times in my life, so don't give up. Just keep making friends, eventually you'll find some that'll stick by you, at least for longer than a couple months.

Not to de-rail the topic.. but I just noticed you live in Hobart... I was in Hobart like a week ago visiting a friend I go to college with for his little Dagorhir team, or whatever you call it lol.


Edit: also, thanks for the encouraging posts.. sorry for being all depressed in your thread lol.

This post has been edited by Ranko: 05 June 2010 - 08:59 PM

[XenoBlade]

I'm king of loner. lol I'm always alone. I rather like being alone. I don't mind hanging with people, but I dunno, I guess lots of past experiences have me like that. People usually have to ask where I went when I do hang out with people. lol

But I get bored ALOT. I hate it at times. I just try to find something new to do. That is how I combat my own personal boredom. Or force myself to play a game and then it just fizzles away.

[Isamu]

My regular job sucks all the energy out of me that when I do have a day off I just don't have the energy to do anything. Right now I four anime series I have yet to finish watching and nine books to finish reading including the complete works of Sherlock Holmes.

[wrexness]

I'm in that kind of mood a fair amount.. I have a bunch of anime I haven't yet watched, yet I don't want to watch anything. I want to play a game, but I don't want to play them. I want to do something online, but I have no clue what. I'm actually in that mood now. I should clean, but I don't want to. I wanna watch something, but I don't have anything I want to watch... Bah!

[Foolish Humon]

I absolutely hate being alone. I have been going through a bit of a funk the past week. I had 3 days off of work in a row and so I was trying to come up with something to do. I'd play a game for about an hour and have a feeling of "I don't really want to do this anymore" so I would check the TV to see if anything is on (there never is) so I kinda just walked around a bit. The longer I go without human contact the more I tend to loose my mind. On day 3 I spent a few hours just sitting around cursing my existence, wondering why I'm alive, why I exist, just things that I try to not think about. But it's just because I am horribly depressed and junk. XD

[XenoBlade]

This topic is become quickly a topic about depression being alone. lol XD

CMON PEOPLE FEEL GOOD BEING ALONE LIKE ME! lol XD j/k

[Foolish Humon]

My bad.

[Ranko]

Foolish Humon, on 05 June 2010 - 09:09 PM, said:

I absolutely hate being alone. I have been going through a bit of a funk the past week. I had 3 days off of work in a row and so I was trying to come up with something to do. I'd play a game for about an hour and have a feeling of "I don't really want to do this anymore" so I would check the TV to see if anything is on (there never is) so I kinda just walked around a bit. The longer I go without human contact the more I tend to loose my mind. On day 3 I spent a few hours just sitting around cursing my existence, wondering why I'm alive, why I exist, just things that I try to not think about. But it's just because I am horribly depressed and junk. XD

Once again sorry for derailing the topic, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who HATES being alone.

[wrexness]

XenoBlade, on 05 June 2010 - 09:13 PM, said:

This topic is become quickly a topic about depression being alone. lol XD

CMON PEOPLE FEEL GOOD BEING ALONE LIKE ME! lol XD j/k

I have no problems with it ^^b

[kenkendazo]

I take a nap. When I'm refreshed I find everything more appealing.

[Ishoku Osero]

I think most people tend to hate being alone. I was used to it for a long time, but the more I'm around people, the more I realize I can't function without being around people, and the more lonely I become when weekends like this happen... where I'm sitting around the house because I'm sick and had to call off work today and tomorrow. I just keep thinking 'maybe I'll go in tomorrow anyways...', but in reality the last thing I'd want to do is make any of my co-workers sick before this medicine has a good chance of kicking in.

Isamu - I completely understand the book problem. I have a stack of psychology books in here, and I'm about 300 volumes behind in manga I've bought (really rough estimate, but the more manga I buy the more likely it is to be a really LOW estimate... *prods her piles* ). I can never seem to get around to any of it, ever. I really need to start...

[XenoBlade]

Foolish Humon, on 05 June 2010 - 09:16 PM, said:

My bad.

Dude I was joking. lol

[Ranko]

TBH even though there are other people in the room with me, I'm considering it as being alone... since my roommates hate me. I can't even watch anime when these guys are around because they will do nothing but stare over my shoulder and yell into my ears the whole time, making it impossible to focus.

This post has been edited by Ranko: 05 June 2010 - 09:26 PM

[XenoBlade]

Ishoku Osero, on 05 June 2010 - 09:24 PM, said:

I think most people tend to hate being alone. I was used to it for a long time, but the more I'm around people, the more I realize I can't function without being around people, and the more lonely I become when weekends like this happen... where I'm sitting around the house because I'm sick and had to call off work today and tomorrow. I just keep thinking 'maybe I'll go in tomorrow anyways...', but in reality the last thing I'd want to do is make any of my co-workers sick before this medicine has a good chance of kicking in.

Well with me, I've been pretty alone my entire life. No siblings. Limited family interaction and basically complete cut off after like 6th grade. I keep moving constantly, so I never had many long time friends, and my parents were strict about me hanging out so I never did much. That added on being shunned for liking anime and games when I WAS stable and not moving, kinda made me just stay away from most people and stay to myself. I dunno, I just never feel lonely. Well take that back, I do at times, but it would wear off. :/ I like being around people, but I function best alone. Anyone who knows me will tell yo how much I am awkward around people, I'm too uptight and stiff as many would describe. But being with these people are pretty much making me less and less of a loner. Also as long as 48 hours passed, you should be okay in not passing your sickness.

And yay for us loners Wrex.

[Kii]

As someone who spends the majority of their time alone, I'm not too familiar with that sort of "Oh my god I'm alone I can do anything! Now...what to do?" feeling.

But unless you're living in a studio apartment and neither of you work, I don't understand why you can't have more "alone time". I think that feeling of "paradise" has less to do with being married and more to do with living with other people, dude.

You could always go to the library and read more books.

[Ishoku Osero]

Ranko - I get what you mean. It makes me glad I don't have roommates or anything, since I still live at home.
Mostly when I'm around people it's because I'm at work, and since I work at a bookstore I can usually find something to talk about with someone, since it's basically one of my major passions. I think between working there and being around my best friend that I've had since I graduated from high school, and then all this new interaction with other people, it's just making me more and more dependent on being around others. It kinda sucks, but it's nice when I actually get to do something.

Xeno - Yeah, that's how I was until I graduated from high school. I have no siblings, but I did 'hang around' with some people in band since I was in marching and concert band throughout the year. I was never really 'there', though, and I never really felt truly included, so it was basically like I was alone anyways. Didn't mind, got a lot of things done, did an awful lot of gaming and whatnot, and I was fine. It's just after I started making friends and whatnot after graduating that I realized that I could no longer be without friends (which basically sucks for me since people tend to say 'oh, you're cool', and then a week later they won't talk to me anymore ). And for the record, I'm pretty awkward around people too. It's taking me quite some time, but I'm getting slightly better as time progresses. I still freak out when I'm around a crowd of people I don't know, like meeting groups of a friend's friends. I'd rather be Kitty Pryde and just disappear through the floor and dart away than be sitting/standing around and feeling ungodly awkward.

[Isamu]

Xenoblade, as long as you haven't found the hidden cameras I put in your room you will never be alone.

Ishoku Osero, I just can't bring myself to read my books. I was happy I finally read A portrait of Dorian Grey.

[Sir Viver]

This is where I usually look through my shelves for a game with immense replay value, or if someone else is present, a fighting or puzzle game to pass the time, perhaps something co-op if they're interested.

[XenoBlade]

Ishoku Osero, on 05 June 2010 - 09:48 PM, said:

Xeno - Yeah, that's how I was until I graduated from high school. I have no siblings, but I did 'hang around' with some people in band since I was in marching and concert band throughout the year. I was never really 'there', though, and I never really felt truly included, so it was basically like I was alone anyways. Didn't mind, got a lot of things done, did an awful lot of gaming and whatnot, and I was fine. It's just after I started making friends and whatnot after graduating that I realized that I could no longer be without friends (which basically sucks for me since people tend to say 'oh, you're cool', and then a week later they won't talk to me anymore ). And for the record, I'm pretty awkward around people too. It's taking me quite some time, but I'm getting slightly better as time progresses. I still freak out when I'm around a crowd of people I don't know, like meeting groups of a friend's friends. I'd rather be Kitty Pryde and just disappear through the floor and dart away than be sitting/standing around and feeling ungodly awkward.

I could swear you'd be me since I was in the band. Although I didn't really hang with people from band either. Except then I would feel lonely. No matter where (even in marching band) people still kinda looked down on me. It's by then I just kinda accepted being alone. It wasn't til like my last year in high school I didn't get lonely. It was something in me that didn't want to give up. But soon I just did. Ah well. Thing is where we differ, I never got the feeling I needed to hang with friends. I don't mind it, and I like to do it, but I can't take too much. Especially since drama is always around the corner. >_< And I'm just like Kitty, except I just walk off even it it seems kinda rude at times. I don't get how people miss me when I move away. I'm a giant! lol XD

And Isamu, you aren't talking about the 20 hidden cameras I destroyed 3 years ago are you?

[Isamu]

XenoBlade, on 05 June 2010 - 10:03 PM, said:

I could swear you'd be me since I was in the band. Although I didn't really hang with people from band either. Except then I would feel lonely. No matter where (even in marching band) people still kinda looked down on me. It's by then I just kinda accepted being alone. It wasn't til like my last year in high school I didn't get lonely. It was something in me that didn't want to give up. But soon I just did. Ah well. Thing is where we differ, I never got the feeling I needed to hang with friends. I don't mind it, and I like to do it, but I can't take too much. Especially since drama is always around the corner. >_< And I'm just like Kitty, except I just walk off even it it seems kinda rude at times. I don't get how people miss me when I move away. I'm a giant! lol XD

And Isamu, you aren't talking about the 20 hidden cameras I destroyed 3 years ago are you?

25, thank God for teddy cams.

[Ranko]

Speaking of hidden cameras... I set my computer to record sound while I was off to gamestop. Soo many nasty things said while I was gone.

[Keiichi-chan]

i like being alone, but that could stem from being alone through most of middle school when i was moving around every few months or sheer selfishness--i tend to have a lot of hobbies and personal interest i want to pursue and when it's just me, there's no debate or democracy when it comes down to 'what are we gonna do tonight?'

still, there are benefits of being with people--you only grow through interactions with others and altruism is only produced through being around other people. if you stay alone all the time, you tend to either forget how to interact socially with strangers and friends completely, or become increasing self-absorbed. you literally start to feel the world centering around you, and then there is that
slowly losing touch with reality thing that happens when you spend days or weeks separated from other
people.

it sounds like you just got used to doing things as a couple, and maybe you feel put-off because you're not used to being on your own anymore? things don't feel the same? i'm not someone who really ever gets bored, so i don't know what to recommend besides trying all the old stuff you enjoy, and then maybe trying out a bunch of new hobbies you've been curious about? sometimes people just crave spontaneity rather than entertainment. the feeling of relief from being alone is probably just because spending so much time together was starting to feel routine? i guess? maybe? idunodood.

This post has been edited by Keiichi-chan: 05 June 2010 - 10:49 PM