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I Have Had It With The Old Folks my mom has called my hobby stupid....

#31 User is offline   Matt PNiewski 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 01:53 AM

Having 300 dollar purses and 1000 dollar shoes is pretty disgusting. I got three dollar thrift store shoes, and a twenty dollar thrift store suit-but I digress.


My mother won't let my StepDad watch cartoons.... When I was more into anime, she didn't like it, but it only came up once or twice. And, while I take issue with my mom (the issues go WAY back, believe me) on this note, she WAS right. It did take up too much of my life. But I grew out of that phase. While I still like it, she doesn't care because I have other things going on.


She approves of my other hobbies, which take precedent. Even my Bird Breeding, which is weird because she hates the fact that we (my brothers and sister) have brought animals into the house....

Then again, she might have heard that you might make money doing it.
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#32 User is offline   S1NN3R 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 01:56 AM

View PostZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 02:41 AM, said:

i have, black wed of 08... but thats a whole different story. it has yet to happen again and i haven't lost my cell phone had them called at 4am by the chicago pd to be told i was found in my car with the alarm going off and it covered in puke.


Some how it doesn't seem too out of charicter.

For me, my brother went into the army do to a court decision. I had a career in advertising at the time. Finding out about my brother, I went behind everyones backs (family, friends, work), enlisted, and made sure I was part of my brothers reg. I was gone for over a year with out a trace. When my brother showed up in Iraq, man was he supprised who his CO was. But now my folks are saying "at least its not Iraq"

I'm not saying to inlist, I'm simply stating there's an above and beyond in all surroundings. Push what they think the "norm" should be to an extreem to which they never saw coming.

View PostFoolInCool, on Apr 21 2010, 02:47 AM, said:

my parents don't enjoy it but then again they don't have to......it's what you like and enjoy....just be happy with what you are happy with

:thumbup:
I like this even better

This post has been edited by S1NN3R: 21 April 2010 - 01:59 AM

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#33 User is offline   TaiyakiOni 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 01:57 AM

My parents don't bother me about it at all. They are supportive of it as long as it keeps me away from alcoholism and doing drugs, which anime is very good at doing since I can rarely afford alcohol and am too poor to buy drugs, not that I know where to find them...

My mom is supportive of my cosplaying as she has helped me make a couple costumes in the past and I think a big part of it is that its because she made me costumes when i was a kid for Halloween and it helps her relive those old days, helping me make costumes. CROSSPLAYING however I hope my parents NEVER EVER find out! I'd never be able to look at them with a straight face again without laughing to death a few times.

My stepdad makes fun of me reading manga sometimes, but that has calmed down a lot over the past couple years when i pointed out his flawed accusations considering he is a comic book junkie and has been for almost 40 years of his life. Plus we both read normal books and novels as well so we don't get at each other's throats at all anymore about reading material.
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#34 User is offline   ZomgBlue 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:29 AM

View PostMatt PNiewski, on Apr 21 2010, 02:53 AM, said:

Having 300 dollar purses and 1000 dollar shoes is pretty disgusting. I got three dollar thrift store shoes, and a twenty dollar thrift store suit-but I digress.


i save up my own money for items that are not made in great quantity they are unique items mostly and the 1k shoes were not bought at full price, i noted that later on. just what i find to spend money on does not mean that i would hold it against one that does not do the same. i would have liked it more if you had kept that opinion to yourself.

im sorry but i just rather people judge me for my personality than the fact of what i own and wear. i like my target brand purses just as much as my over priced ones (which im sure if i liked to be judged by them i would list of brand name, style code, season and year) mearly stating a fact of my mother ignoring blatant over spending on single items that have mostly signle uses was the point of my statement with prices. unlike how everything i have gotten for acen so far has been under 200$ total for all of it and each item has a place in daily life, well maybe not one item but it will end up decorating my room none the less.

*steps off of soap box*

sorry just feel very strongly about being prejudged lately.
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#35 User is offline   Matt PNiewski 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:40 AM

View PostZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 03:29 AM, said:

i save up my own money for items that are not made in great quantity they are unique items mostly and the 1k shoes were not bought at full price, i noted that later on. just what i find to spend money on does not mean that i would hold it against one that does not do the same. i would have liked it more if you had kept that opinion to yourself.

im sorry but i just rather people judge me for my personality than the fact of what i own and wear. i like my target brand purses just as much as my over priced ones (which im sure if i liked to be judged by them i would list of brand name, style code, season and year) mearly stating a fact of my mother ignoring blatant over spending on single items that have mostly signle uses was the point of my statement with prices. unlike how everything i have gotten for acen so far has been under 200$ total for all of it and each item has a place in daily life, well maybe not one item but it will end up decorating my room none the less.

*steps off of soap box*

sorry just feel very strongly about being prejudged lately.



No, no, you got me all wrong.

I don't say YOU are disgusting for having those things.

I say HAVING those things is disgusting.

Huge difference. It in no way reflects you as a person.




If it makes you feel better, I'm spending 1400 on a Parrot I don't need.

This post has been edited by Matt PNiewski: 21 April 2010 - 02:40 AM

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#36 User is offline   kenkendazo  

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 08:41 AM

Hmmm...Mom knows about my dolls, Dad doesn't. If he did find out I don't really think he can say anything. My mom even took our pics for Christmas cards. I have a good relationship with everyone in my family that hasn't sealed themselves off from the rest of the world. I am the shining light of being normal in both lineages thus can somehow do no wrong in anyone's eyes.

I think the most important thing is your relationship with people. If you are on the best terms with them then they will support you in every way possible.


...then again you can read Dale Carnegie's book.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 08:55 AM

HA!

My parents keep saying I'll grow out of this "crap" one day and stop wasting my money on all of this "crap" [changing the words that are " "] they have been saying that since I was 18.

We have butted heads on subjects that are other than anime/what I spend my extra cash on but that is a whole new thread. Honestly, if you want to do whatever you please, maintain a healthy relationship with your parents, and keep your sanity, move out!

When it comes to parents it is very hard to have your cake and eat it too. They try their best to give the tools and guidelines of what they believe will be best for you, that is not always the case.

I'm personally going to move once my last bit of debt is gone I have a projected date, medical insurance in my own name, working on car insurance in my own name, now to get my mother's mind frame changed from the thought that I should only move out when I get married. -.-



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Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:34 AM

I'm not saying you shouldn't have or making a judgement on your stuff, I just thought you probably have more than you currently use & that it might help you pay for what you want now, since it seems your Mom is having a hard time with Acen expenses, I just thought it might help.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:48 AM

Reading through this thread, I remembered having a long talk with my parents when I was you ger about me being into anime. Let's just say that they thought it was all kids stuff till we got to the part about more "adult" anime. Then they knew anime wasn't just for kids. Now THAT was entertaining. I think my father still has the "Cool Devices" DVDs I lent him to show it can be adult too.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 11:02 AM

My parents know better than to tell me what I can and can't be into. Of course I'm 33 and have been on my own since I was a teen. They are fine with my otaku habit, though my dad thinks I am wasting money. My mom is actually going to cosply at Anime Vegas this year!

1,000 dollar shoes?!?! That's twice what I paid for my car! In fact that's more than I have paid for a car in the last 12 years.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 01:49 PM

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:14 PM

Well im in my mid twenties and anime/cons have been a part of my life since 1999 so my mother is pretty used to it. She thinks its a geeky thing sure, but she accepts it none of the less. But I moved out when I was 18 and pay for everything myself so really she cant say much.

I think your just going through your teen stages. Parents being non accepting, etc etc. A lot of kids go through it so dont feel alone and alienated. Just go with the flow, tell them its your thing. If they dont accept it ah well, they will live.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:43 PM

View Postsentinel28a, on Apr 21 2010, 12:41 AM, said:

Sounds to me, Zomg, that it may be time to start thinking about moving out. I lived with my folks for several years after graduating from HS, and my dad and I got into some very nasty arguments. Things cleared up after I moved out...it's basically like having two alpha wolves in the same pack. Separate them and they're fine.

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^This. My sister and step-mother used to go butt heads every day. They'd get into really intense arguments all the time.

But then my sister moved out into an apartment with her boyfriend.

Now she and my step-mom are pretty much best friends.

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:45 PM

All this talk of moving out really makes me want to... move out. I sometimes get into arguments with my stepdad about things like couch cushions... But I don't have a stable job or the money to do so.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:54 PM

Living on your own is nice, other than paying all the bills yourself. It always blows me away that people still live with parents after turning 18. At that age I had roomies to split the bills with, and besides, it's always nice coming home and not having to answer to anyone.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 02:55 PM

View PostMatt PNiewski, on Apr 21 2010, 02:40 AM, said:

No, no, you got me all wrong.

I don't say YOU are disgusting for having those things.

I say HAVING those things is disgusting.

Huge difference. It in no way reflects you as a person.




If it makes you feel better, I'm spending 1400 on a Parrot I don't need.


Well, Niewski~su....
While I personally would never pay that much for shoes or a purse, I think "disgusting" is the wrong word to use here, in any way you're intending it to mean.

For some people, fashion is something they're passionate about much like how you are passionate about exotic birds and film.

You say it's ridiculous to spend $1000 on a pair of shoes but may think it's perfectly respectable to spend $1000 for a good camera.

I'd say you're both ridiculous because I'd rather spend that kind of money on painting supplies or food.

It's her money, she can do with it whatever she deems fit.

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:37 PM

My sister doesn't want to acknowledge me for cosplaying. No one in my family cares that I like anime or go to the convention. If they did, it's just an opinion. My friends make fun of me all the time about it. Doesn't really bother me. Kind of sad they know more about hentai than I do.
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Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:29 PM

..is this person a troll?

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:34 PM

View PostZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 12:51 AM, said:

nope, ive tried many a time with many a subject... she takes a childish stance, even with the death of my dog she tried to make it seem as if it was her great loss that she had to make this hard choice on. :mad:



okay that is just not right. But, nobody supports me in my hobby of anime and manga. They all say it is childish and a wast of money. Who are they to stop me.
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#50 User is offline   this_chick25 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:37 PM

To put it frankly, because it's not "normal", but only at face value. I don't understand it--a person can build a replica Model "T" out of matchsticks, or drop $2950 on a collector's edition Barbie doll (or worse, get even more costly plastic surgery to look like a Barbie doll), and it's considered more "normal" than cosplay.

"Mom--I want to dress like my favorite character from a Japanese animation/video game/movie/band/etc. and attend a convention where people are into the same thing."

I've had to explain to my co-workers whenever I ask them about various things they may know about (like guitars), or if they ask me why I'm so into "this costume thing". They don't understand why I'm so into it until I explain that I learn a new skill nearly every time I make a costume, and that challenge and that learning is a huge chunk of why I love it so much.

Granted, I could build model cars, kites, or airplanes but I don't like cars, kites, or airplanes. I could sew doll clothes, but I don't like dolls (enough to own them, anyway). I could shop for fun, but I actually have more fun shopping when there is a point to what I am buying (as opposed to dropping a hundred bucks on something I may wear eventually). I could sew normal clothes for other people (and I did for a short while), or draw, or paint, or whatever else,... but that's not a challenge to me, and just doing one thing for more than a few months tends to burn me out fairly quickly.

I have learned to solder electrical components for the sake of cosplay. I learned about where to find and how to use materials I never even thought about using for any purpose. Heck, I know how to use a propane torch now! :lol: It gives me a certain sense of pride when I can pick up something as simple as a bottlecap or a piece of craft foam and think of more than a dozen accessories I can make from it, or the light of amazement in my co-worker's eyes when I tell him how easy it is to make him a "party fridge" costume with a door, a working light and a six-pack of beer!

It's a hobby--MY hobby, and last time I checked, the definition of that word is "an activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure." Not "primarily for what others think of how you spend your personal time and/or money". If you love it, do it because you love it, and not because of what your mom thinks.

This post has been edited by this_chick25: 21 April 2010 - 04:39 PM

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#51 User is offline   Voxx 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:50 PM

View Postthis_chick25, on Apr 21 2010, 05:37 PM, said:

It's a hobby--MY hobby, and last time I checked, the definition of that word is "an activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure." Not "primarily for what others think of how you spend your personal time and/or money". If you love it, do it because you love it, and not because of what your mom thinks.


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#52 User is offline   nouseforaname 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:57 PM

View PostKeiichi-chan, on Apr 21 2010, 05:29 PM, said:

..is this person a troll?

No.
Mighta been a time when I loved her too but you take that away, you always been the one.

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#53 User is offline   Valkyrie 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:06 PM

My parents have always been pretty supportive of my playing video games, watching anime, making cosplays, and going to conventions. Although they may not fully understand it, they know it makes me happy, and as long as I'm responsible in my spending for said hobbies, it's all good. And that was before I moved in with my now-hubby, which was going on four years ago. Ever since then, they will occasionally ask about said hobbies, and even get into awesome discussions about them.

I think the only person who had anything remotely negative to say about any of my hobbies was my younger sister, when she would say anime was for kids (this was years ago, when I was in high school). Then one night, she came into the living room to see me and a friend of mine watching one of the best anime movies of all time: Vampire Hunter D. She had no clue what it was (nor would it have made any difference to her), so the resulting conversation went something like:

Sister: Oh, you're watching those kid's cartoons again?
Friend: Ummm I wouldn't say it's for kids.
Sister: Really? Because I see animated stuff, I think kids.
Me: Oh really? Well, keep watching. (A moment later, Rei Gensei gets his hand lopped off and starts cursing at D.)
Sister: O.O
Me: Yeah. Still think this is only for kids now? Because there's lots more out there just like this...and worse.
Sister: ....I think I'll just leave you two to your movie.

Ever since then, she's been pretty humbled. ^^
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#54 User is offline   MewChan 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:55 PM

My parents don't really care that I like going to ACen, reading manga, watching anime, and cosplaying.

I ordered a hat for my cosplay in the mail, and my mom demanded that I show her. ^^ She's also making part of my cosplay for me.
My dad even took me to the hardware store to get something for the cosplay.

Mom has bought me a few seasons of Ranma 1/2 on DVD, because she knows it makes me happy. They also drive me to ACen, when it's much easier for me to take the train. It's easier on them if I take the train, too.

Mostly parents just want to make their children happy. OP, I wish your parents felt the same way and didn't try to put you down for doing the things you love. I hope your situation gets better soon.

#55 User is offline   Stormy-chan 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 07:13 PM

I am luckier than i realized. My dad and stepmother were both into D&D stuff and are both super geeky. I have been hooked on anime since high school, and wouldnt have it any other way. I think my dad saw anime as my version of interest comparable to his in the D&D stuff. He even got into Dragonball Z and few manga himself :) which was awesome! I am glad my dad was supportive and encouraged me with it and my art.

My mom was tolerant ;) and just wanted me to be happy. She always said i was my dad's little girl and took after him more than her when it came to geeky interests. The artistic talent that mostly was my mom though. She is very good at sketching :) Over all until i moved out on my own i had it easy it seems.

I wish you luck with your mom ZomgBlue. Hang in there and when you can move out you will enjoy it that much more! :D

#56 User is offline   Matt PNiewski 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 07:35 PM

View PostKii, on Apr 21 2010, 03:55 PM, said:

Well, Niewski~su....
While I personally would never pay that much for shoes or a purse, I think "disgusting" is the wrong word to use here, in any way you're intending it to mean.

For some people, fashion is something they're passionate about much like how you are passionate about exotic birds and film.

You say it's ridiculous to spend $1000 on a pair of shoes but may think it's perfectly respectable to spend $1000 for a good camera.

I'd say you're both ridiculous because I'd rather spend that kind of money on painting supplies or food.

It's her money, she can do with it whatever she deems fit.



It's disgusting like a Deep Fried Twinkie. Lots of people like it. Theres nothing wrong with it. But it's still a deep fried Twinkie.
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#57 User is offline   wrexness 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 07:38 PM

View PostImNewHere, on Apr 21 2010, 03:54 PM, said:

Living on your own is nice, other than paying all the bills yourself. It always blows me away that people still live with parents after turning 18. At that age I had roomies to split the bills with, and besides, it's always nice coming home and not having to answer to anyone.

I didn't move out until I was 23. But y'know what? Because I was able to save money that would otherwise be spent on more bills and rent and such, I was able to afford a down payment on my house. >w<b

Probably doesn't hurt the fact that my mom was pretty hands off anyway. We never had any real arguments. I moved out because I felt the time was right, not because I couldn't stand my mom anymore. Though it is pretty sweet to walk around the house in whatever I want. XD
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#58 User is offline   ZomgBlue 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:41 PM

in an attempt to catch up.

no i am not a troll. i think im a bit too tall to be one in fact and my feet would need to be much bigger. yeah yeah in forum terms i am not a troll.

as for moving out, must pay off my debt get stable job and theres issues with in my family that i dont feel are best to discuss on a public forum. lets just say my mother isnt always in the best mind which makes it harder.

yes i am a fashion fan but i limit myself to one item per year and those were just random items i had brought up, i just also am someone that likes to find practical use items and buy them if i need them. an example would be my car. i wanted an economy car with good mpg (34city/40highway) along with ways to carry my stuff for sports or my dogs but not have an suv. another example, i dont like to get flowers i rather get seeds to plant for veggies or a seedling tree, not flowers that are cut and will die. pretty to look at not long lasting.

my whole outfit for acen other than a few accessories can be worn in everyday life. some can even been worn to work which is great. my uniform is BORING. im 2 people in one if you think about it, a fashionista that likes a pratical lifestyle mostly.

now to my mother, i brought home something i found at when on break from work a skelimal or something such she said it was sooo cute, i informed her it was in the anime/manga section at teh bookstore she was like eh what a waste of money... i tried didnt work this time but maybe another time.
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#59 User is offline   ImNewHere 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:45 PM

View Postwrexness, on Apr 21 2010, 09:38 PM, said:

I didn't move out until I was 23. But y'know what? Because I was able to save money that would otherwise be spent on more bills and rent and such, I was able to afford a down payment on my house. >w<b

Probably doesn't hurt the fact that my mom was pretty hands off anyway. We never had any real arguments. I moved out because I felt the time was right, not because I couldn't stand my mom anymore. Though it is pretty sweet to walk around the house in whatever I want. XD

Mine was because I've been working a full time job since I was 15, got a GED at 16 under special rules since I had to work to help my family pay bills, and pretty much did what I wanted to from then on. I paid 75 a week and a portion of the bills from age 16 on and at 18 I was out with only my car, books, and clothes. The funny thing is now I make more than either of my parents do, and I am less than 2 years from having my home paid off. If I would have been able to live with parents until my mid 20s I would have been able to completely finish my degree and had enough saved where I would completely own my home before age 30. Ohh well.

I do have a friend who is older than I. He's 34 and still lives with his parents. I also know others that are 30 and older and still live with their parents as well. It must be a midwestern thing because I did not see that out west or when I lived in the south either.
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#60 User is offline   kenkendazo  

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

View PostZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 10:41 PM, said:

now to my mother, i brought home something i found at when on break from work a skelimal or something such she said it was sooo cute, i informed her it was in the anime/manga section at teh bookstore she was like eh what a waste of money... i tried didnt work this time but maybe another time.

Just from my point, this statement almost makes me think you're looking for a fight from her. Now I know you're not, but don't even bother showing it to her if you're going to tell her that and know what the reaction will be.
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