[ZomgBlue]

i cant take it, she refuses to try to understand she lets me buy 300$ name brand couture purses 1000$ shoes and other luxe items yet for acen spending 200 bucks on general mix and match and reuseable in everyday life items she considers a waste of money... i dunno but those 1k shoes seem like a waste after teh 5 sprained ankles... that reminds me i gotta fix that shoe. anyways how do i explain it to her?? how?!

she loves to knit, i dont call it stupid. infact i tried to take interest and i can make scarfs like no tomorrow but really i dont need them and meh. i took an interest i tried to see her side i didnt but i sure didnt call it stupid. i must say some of that yarn is expensive.

but i guess i just want her to see that i can meet people like phil moy or scott ramsoomair like i did last year. people that draw the stuff i read the amazing people behind the art. and i also have chances to make an idiot out of myself and make friends with thoses i never would have before.

soooooooooooo grrrr with her. what ever will i do. oh and i tried to make her watch an anime she instead told her dog to bark at the screen.

do you all have issues with the parents still? or how have you gotten them to at least stop bugging on it?

[kenkendazo]

I enjoy to knit and crochet ^^

[KirbyFanOne]

Your mother sounds like a B(ites tongue).

Thankfully my parents let me do whatever I want with minimal questions asked. Still doesn't change the fact that unless it involves sports, drinking, or anything that's not foreign my dad could care less.

[ZomgBlue]

KirbyFanOne, on Apr 20 2010, 11:59 PM, said:

Your mother sounds like a B(ites tongue).

Thankfully my parents let me do whatever I want with minimal questions asked. Still doesn't change the fact that unless it involves sports, drinking, or anything that's not foreign my dad could care less.

you mean she sounds like someone to see you next tuesday... she laid down like 100 bucks today on tshirts and make up when i went to look for a pair of 5 dollar tights.

my daddy doesnt care unless my mom complains to him then i just say something that i was to keep my mouth shut about and he gets back on her case.

i am 24 i have my own job, pay for my own car which i bought on my own... (uugh car payments) only once did i have to ask for her help because i paid a bill before th car payment and i promptly paid her back 2 weeks later. i think im pretty self reliant and should be able to enjoy my hobbies to my self.

i personally like painting and paper craft over knitting.

[Neko_master_Luna]

Seeing as I am 30 & still into anime, manga & video games, my Mother is now aware that it is not stupid or just a phase. In fact she is happy to help me find stuff for cosplay, though it's still like speaking Japanese to her, if I at least show her a picture of the character I want to go as, she has an idea of what I am looking for, plus this way she might see me in a dress or skirt & thats rare. I don't know your Mom, but it sounds to me as if she isn't respecting your wishes. Perhaps if you stayed out of her hobbies, she'll leave yours alone. If it were me, I think I'd sell any expensive clothes or shoes I don't ware any more to raise the money. Though I wish my Mom could afford to buy me that kind of stuff. I also would buy any more if she's going to be up tight about it. Is it possible to even deisscus it with as an adult, because I get the feeling she's being rather childish about it.

[Kii]

My dad is super supportive of everything I do, including cosplaying and watching anime. He thinks that stuff is pretty cool.

My mom is a lot more controlling, but has chilled out in more recent times. She's learning that everything can't be perfect or the way she wants it to be all of the time.

She thinks my cosplaying is weird, but not weird enough to harass me about it.

My step-dad has walked in on me watching anime several times and he got legitimately pissed off, claiming that I'm "too old to be watching cartoons" and demanding that I change the channel.

Haha, if only he knew the content of the cartoons I'm supposedly too old to be watching.

[Lady_Aeris]

i live with my grandma and last year she helped with my cosplay but if she even knew i have 2 new ones in the works let alone how much ive spent (my car's trunk is FULL of cosplay supplies) she would KILL ME!

[Foolish Humon]

My parents don't really give a crap about anything I do, though they do think that cosplaying is weird, but my mom still helps me out when I make mine.

I'm fairly confident no one else in my family is aware of my geekyness.

[KirbyFanOne]

Kii, on Apr 21 2010, 12:24 AM, said:

My step-dad has walked in on me watching anime several times and he got legitimately pissed off, claiming that I'm "too old to be watching cartoons" and demanding that I change the channel.

My stepdad didn't want me to take my Ryo-Ohki plush to the con last year because he thought people would give me weird looks.

...

I want you all to absorb that. Let that permiate into your brains and try to figure that one out.

[Ishoku Osero]

I slightly understand where you're coming from. My mum doesn't buy designer brands or anything like that, but she'll go out on spending rampages every once in a while when she has a fit (last time that happened, she got a new car... the time before that a new tv, stereo system, and ... well, the works, for the family room - and it's hardly ever used because no-one ever goes down there ).

Both my parents went through my room when I was just starting middle school all those years ago and threw out nearly all my things. The only thing I still had was my SNES, a few games for it, and the creepy dolls my grandmother used to buy me (and the SNES was just because it just so happened to be under my bed at the time ). They tried to force me to grow up, and my mum started pressuring me to wear makeup and 'be adult' because of some unknown stupid reason. Now, all these years later, my room is filled with cute anime figures and merch, manga and gaming consoles galore, and the both of them are completely pissed. Every time something new comes in the mail or I buy new manga from my work, they gripe at me. Sometimes they go into my room and pick up a manga and rage about how 'there's young children and you're going to jail for it!' (last time they did this, they picked up a copy of Kitchen Princess... uh, yes ), because they think everything anime is lolicon now after seeing some dumb special on tv.

*rambles on*

...

So yes, I understand.

[Lady_Aeris]

Foolish Humon, on Apr 21 2010, 01:26 AM, said:

My parents don't really give a crap about anything I do, though they do think that cosplaying is weird, but my mom still helps me out when I make mine.

I'm fairly confident no one else in my family is aware of my geekyness.

my family EXCEPT my grandma are all for my geekyness! all of my dads kids and my moms 2 sons both cosplay too! and we are all gamers!

[Neko_master_Luna]

Hey Ishoku Osero, ever consider having a friend bring your stuff over pretending to be just sharing it? I used to have to do that for my best friend & her Parents couldn't tell that there was any thing new & they did ask, "Oh that was a gift, had it for years."

[Foolish Humon]

Lady_Aeris, on Apr 21 2010, 12:30 AM, said:

my family EXCEPT my grandma are all for my geekyness! all of my dads kids and my moms 2 sons both cosplay too! and we are all gamers!

Lucky for me my brother is into anime, and all the same junk I'm into. We are so similar some people think we are twins, but I am 3 years older.

[Ishoku Osero]

Neko_master_Luna, on Apr 21 2010, 12:32 AM, said:

Hey Ishoku Osero, ever consider having a friend bring your stuff over pretending to be just sharing it? I used to have to do that for my best friend & her Parents couldn't tell that there was any thing new & they did ask, "Oh that was a gift, had it for years."

Nahh, I'm too old for doing something like that. =P
Besides, seeing the looks on their faces when I get new things brings me joy. Sometimes I'll take the clothes off of my cast off figures for a few days at a time just to make them extra angry. =w= They're meanies anyways. It's not like they could actually toss any of it anymore, none of it was bought with their money.

[FlyingElf]

ZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 12:55 AM, said:

i cant take it, she refuses to try to understand she lets me buy 300$ name brand couture purses 1000$ shoes and other luxe items yet for acen spending 200 bucks on general mix and match and reuseable in everyday life items she considers a waste of money... i dunno but those 1k shoes seem like a waste after teh 5 sprained ankles... that reminds me i gotta fix that shoe. anyways how do i explain it to her?? how?!

she loves to knit, i dont call it stupid. infact i tried to take interest and i can make scarfs like no tomorrow but really i dont need them and meh. i took an interest i tried to see her side i didnt but i sure didnt call it stupid. i must say some of that yarn is expensive.

but i guess i just want her to see that i can meet people like phil moy or scott ramsoomair like i did last year. people that draw the stuff i read the amazing people behind the art. and i also have chances to make an idiot out of myself and make friends with thoses i never would have before.

soooooooooooo grrrr with her. what ever will i do. oh and i tried to make her watch an anime she instead told her dog to bark at the screen.

do you all have issues with the parents still? or how have you gotten them to at least stop bugging on it?

A lot of parents see their children watching a cartoon and that must mean theres something wrong with them. Its not normal for people to watch cartoons after the age of 13 or so. A lot of parents are very set in their ways and have a hard time getting past that. I think its partially a generational type thing. Cartoons like the Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park are showing more Americans that its okay to watch this stuff after a certain age. Still some people will always hold to tradition. Unfortunately I'm not sure theres really a lot you can do aside from moving out. You can't force someone to watch and like something, and if shes not even willing to try...well...

Try not to let it get you down. I imagine she does want whats best for you. She wants you to spend that money on shoes and bags because looks and name brands are important to upscale (shallow) society. You obviously have no interest in being part of that, but she wants you to be someone classy and upstanding. And looking the part helps that. I know its hard and you probably don't want to hear it, but it is very likely done out of love.

So what do you tell her? Well you can sit her down and explain why this is important to you. What it is you like about it. And stuff along those lines. If you have already, do it again. I mean eventually shes going to get and understand that this is important to you and you're not just going to let it go. And if she doesn't, well some people are just very set in their ways, but at least you tried. The other far less frustrating route is to simply avoid the topic altogether. But I get it, you probably don't necessarily want to cut your mom out of any aspect of your life like that.

[Neko_master_Luna]

That brought back wonderful memories of my 20's, LOL, my best friend in her early 20's & I had to always pretend for her!

[ZomgBlue]

oh i buy my own expensive stuff and i do like to own a few luxe items i have like 5 that i have bought over the years the shoes that are 1k i didnt pay full price for i found them on super clearence and they are just so funky that when i googled them and found out they cost that much normally i was so happy at my sale finding skills. i saved more than 50%

my main splurg is make up i like to use professional make up and i will go to buy that when i feel that some colours that are new are worth adding to my pallet. uh havent bought any make up other than eye liner. in 6 months.

i stay out of my moms hobbies now she used to want me to be part of them. she used to love to play ps1 games with me now its like asking for blood. i am the black sheep in my family after the pedophile and the man with his 7th wife... someone explain please

then again im adopted so who the heck knows... doot doot doooooo

[Lina]

My parents don't like it and would prefer me to not be into cosplaying and anime and going to conventions, but they are ok with it. My mom made a few of my cosplays for me back in '03, '05 and '06. Now she gets made at me every time I bring home fabric and keeps telling me that I have plenty of cosplays.

My brothers like Whistle! and Eyeshield 21 and that's about it and my sister LOVES anime and video games. She loves Sgt. Frog, Fruits Basket, Detective Conan, Kingdom Hearts, Touhou and other stuff. My parents won't let me bring her to ACen because of the creepers and I wouldn't bring her either because I don't want guys hitting on her. She has a large chest for her being 14 and I worry for her. >< I would love to bring her to ACen this year so she can meet Sgt. Frog voice actors. Maybe I can see if I can convince my mom to let me bring her to just that panel.

[Neko_master_Luna]

Either way good luck, but still is it possible to talk to hear about it like adults?

[ZomgBlue]

Neko_master_Luna, on Apr 21 2010, 12:42 AM, said:

Either way good luck, but still is it possible to talk to hear about it like adults?

nope, ive tried many a time with many a subject... she takes a childish stance, even with the death of my dog she tried to make it seem as if it was her great loss that she had to make this hard choice on.

[Kaay-chan]

Kii, on Apr 21 2010, 12:24 AM, said:

My dad is super supportive of everything I do, including cosplaying and watching anime. He thinks that stuff is pretty cool.

My mom is a lot more controlling, but has chilled out in more recent times. She's learning that everything can't be perfect or the way she wants it to be all of the time.

She thinks my cosplaying is weird, but not weird enough to harass me about it.

My step-dad has walked in on me watching anime several times and he got legitimately pissed off, claiming that I'm "too old to be watching cartoons" and demanding that I change the channel.

Haha, if only he knew the content of the cartoons I'm supposedly too old to be watching.

Show him Baccano, and then dare him to tell you that you're too old to be watching it.

I consider myself to be lucky, because both of my parents are totally supportive. My mom loves to sew, and when I was a kid, my Halloween costumes were always hand made (I think there were one or two years where it wasn't, but that's it), so she has absolutely no problem helping me out with making my cosplays (actually right now she does a lot of the sewing because I'm still not that good at it yet... ). If I hide a cosplay from my dad for any reason, it's for the same reason I always hide from my dad when I'm dressed up for any occasion: he's a photographer. Being "daddy's little model" got old around the time I was 4.

[Ishoku Osero]

ZomgBlue, on Apr 21 2010, 12:51 AM, said:

nope, ive tried many a time with many a subject... she takes a childish stance, even with the death of my dog she tried to make it seem as if it was her great loss that she had to make this hard choice on.

D:
*offers hugs?*
I hate when people pull that kind of crap.

[Neko_master_Luna]

Ok, last question before I turn in, what about your Dad? I mean does he get it & would he be able to help you with your Mom? Also some siblings may have ideas if you have any that are not evil like my Brothers?

[ZomgBlue]

Neko_master_Luna, on Apr 21 2010, 12:56 AM, said:

Ok, last question before I turn in, what about your Dad? I mean does he get it & would he be able to help you with your Mom? Also some siblings may have ideas if you have any that are not evil like my Brothers?

my parents dont talk much lately, i have no siblings either. my dad works comes home sleeps. my mom complains about that to me. i go upstairs to my room and understand why my dad does what he does.

[Kankokujin]

It's a complicated situation for me. My mom thinks collecting figures is childish. I think she'd rather catch me with drugs. The weird thing is that my mom actually helped me with my cosplay.

[sentinel28a]

By the time I got into anime, I was already out of high school and going to college. My parents figured if I was old enough to go to college, hold down a job, and pay my bills, they really didn't care what I did so long as it wasn't illegal. I'm lucky that my dad loves anime and will watch it with me when possible--even if it's a series neither one of us have seen before. Of course, if it doesn't have bewbs, he loses interest pretty quick, but that happens when your dad is basically Happosai.

Mom? She never got into it, but she never discouraged it either. My folks and I came to an understanding on such things when I was a freshman in HS and started getting into gaming. I told them "Which would you rather me do--game with my buddies, who are all fine upstanding Christians, or go out and drink with total strangers?" (Because in Montana, gaming or drinking is pretty much it for entertainment.) That ended that argument, and we never had it again.

The only other time my mother and I clashed over gaming was when I went to ACen in 2004 rather than my college graduation ceremony. It worked out, though...I "missed" some hippie freak bitching about Bush for three hours (the commencement address) and watching my professors get utterly sloshed on PBR (the graduate reception). My mom? She got revenge when I caught strep throat on the way home from ACen. I got good memories instead of bad ones, and she gets to laugh evilly as I cough my brains out.

Sounds to me, Zomg, that it may be time to start thinking about moving out. I lived with my folks for several years after graduating from HS, and my dad and I got into some very nasty arguments. Things cleared up after I moved out...it's basically like having two alpha wolves in the same pack. Separate them and they're fine.

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"Quit biting each other's tails"

[ZomgBlue]

sentinel28a, on Apr 21 2010, 01:41 AM, said:

Sounds to me, Zomg, that it may be time to start thinking about moving out. I lived with my folks for several years after graduating from HS, and my dad and I got into some very nasty arguments. Things cleared up after I moved out...it's basically like having two alpha wolves in the same pack. Separate them and they're fine.

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"Quit biting each other's tails"

theres no way i can move out, i am on limited funds and if i move out i lose my medical insurance which right now i cant lose. if my manager would put me back at 20 hours i could start back at my savings fund along with paying off the debt i have left. then if my 'attitude' gets better at work i can apply for grooming school and make bank and move out. thus covering my own insurance and not having to worry about moms.

only other options is to get married to a guy thats well off and has good group coverage insurance. lets be real option one is not only sensible but wouldnt be using someone. as for the 20 hours thats the max allowed for my position that i hold.

[S1NN3R]

I'd suggest doing something drasticly out of charictor. Then that way, in comparison, your parents can say "At least it's not... again!"

[ZomgBlue]

S1NN3R, on Apr 21 2010, 02:14 AM, said:

I'd suggest doing something drasticly out of charictor. Then that way, in comparison, your parents can say "At least it's not... again!"

i have, black wed of 08... but thats a whole different story. it has yet to happen again and i haven't lost my cell phone had them called at 4am by the chicago pd to be told i was found in my car with the alarm going off and it covered in puke.

[FoolInCool]

my parents don't enjoy it but then again they don't have to......it's what you like and enjoy....just be happy with what you are happy with