[nouseforaname]

I can believe this thread is still going, with the same people as usual.

[XenoBlade]

^ Had to be posted twice. lol

Anywho, well just to put it a lil nicer from what Kii said, a lot of the people who post here would fit in the categories she listed. As someone who has seen alot of the stuff people post, knowing a bit of the people who posted, and heard stories of what people said or did (won't say names, but boy, I've heard so much.) Now I'm not saying all are in that boat, but a lot of people are kinda slinking around just doing what they should. Socializing and asking.

See, my beef isn't that people need to go to online and stuff. Hey, some people feel better this way. (like others mentioned) HOWEVER, this is an open forum. Where you can go and chat up people. Msg em, talk to them on aim or whatever, meet at acen and whatever, and maybe talk on the phone or something. What's stopping people from just getting to know someone that way? Why do you need a green light to try? I mean it IS the internet, it's easier then flat out talking to the opposite sex all like that. Why not be a little gutsier then normal? Basically, don't make profiles, go out and DO.

(I mean us being anime fans already have the stigma against us for being unsociable losers. Lets not make that try eh?)

[nouseforaname]

XenoBlade, on 18 December 2011 - 08:50 PM, said:

^ Had to be posted twice. lol

Just noticed it posted twice.

[Kaia Hatsune]

XenoBlade, on 18 December 2011 - 08:50 PM, said:

^ Had to be posted twice. lol

Anywho, well just to put it a lil nicer from what Kii said, a lot of the people who post here would fit in the categories she listed. As someone who has seen alot of the stuff people post, knowing a bit of the people who posted, and heard stories of what people said or did (won't say names, but boy, I've heard so much.) Now I'm not saying all are in that boat, but a lot of people are kinda slinking around just doing what they should. Socializing and asking.

See, my beef isn't that people need to go to online and stuff. Hey, some people feel better this way. (like others mentioned) HOWEVER, this is an open forum. Where you can go and chat up people. Msg em, talk to them on aim or whatever, meet at acen and whatever, and maybe talk on the phone or something. What's stopping people from just getting to know someone that way? Why do you need a green light to try? I mean it IS the internet, it's easier then flat out talking to the opposite sex all like that. Why not be a little gutsier then normal? Basically, don't make profiles, go out and DO.

(I mean us being anime fans already have the stigma against us for being unsociable losers. Lets not make that try eh?)

I agree. Though, this thread may have good intentions, it is not a quick fix, guaranteed way to find a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be like "oh hey, i want a bf/gf and so do you. LET'S DATE!" (i mean...i guess it can be but it's gotta be way more than that)

Don't be afraid to "fall". If their is a person you are interested in, talk to them, get to know them. And if you are still interested, ask to hang out or something, maybe with a group of friends so it's not so awkward. And if it goes beyond than, go out on a date or something.(this is what happened between Darko and I) Importantly, GO FOR IT. The worst thing that can happen is that the person isn't interested in you, but that's not the end of the world. It's probably for the best, because obviously, you don't want a fake relationship

Both Darko and I wanted to get to know each other after we talking on the forums for a bit so we started to talk on aim. Eventually, we started to stay up all night just talking about anything about each other and our likes/dislikes or just being silly. Then we both made the effort to meet each other with our group of friends.(I was honestly a little afraid that he would end up being a creepy old man so I had to bring someone with me XD) Finally, I started to get worried that someone would quickly take him because he just seemed too good to be true. I didn't want to lose my chance. I told him that I liked him(most nerve-wracking thing ever, but i knew that I had to make a move.)
---
So, i mean this in the polite way possible but, let's end this thread so it can stop giving false hope/fake ideas that there is a quick fix find relationship dealy.(Is there a way to lock it?)
Maybe we can open a Relationship/Other Advice thread? I don't know how well it would work or even if it's a good idea. >///<

This post has been edited by Kaia Hatsune: 22 December 2011 - 03:48 AM

[XenoBlade]

Actually, the advice/others thread is nice. Just it can go really south really fast. (the complainers)

[Kii]

GiveUpTheGhost, on 11 December 2011 - 03:18 PM, said:

Ahhh as vicious as ever!

Some things never change no matter how long you stay away from us, Gutsy. ;o

[nouseforaname]

Kii, on 22 December 2011 - 08:55 PM, said:

Some things never change no matter how long you stay away from us, Gutsy. ;o

Who are you again?

[STVO]

http://troll.me/imag...u-no-active.jpg

^ This

This post has been edited by STVO: 24 December 2011 - 01:39 AM

[XenoBlade]

nouseforaname, on 23 December 2011 - 07:12 PM, said:

Who are you again?

She is actually a regular. Well when this site actually had people coming.

STVO, on 23 December 2011 - 11:01 PM, said:

http://troll.me/imag...u-no-active.jpg

^ This

Irony is, the mods threatened to shut the thread down permanently...so it's better to have discussion (or whatever you want to call em like this) or else it'll be closed down for good. (Which someone of us wanted anyway. lol)

[C2Queen]

I think whatever happens at the con, happens. The best hookups are never usually planned, even friendships. And the best people to hookup with aren't random strangers but close friends or friends of friends =^o^= I think "That Guy" is trying to say, trying to bond online only makes us seem a little desperate perhaps...? Or as if something is wrong with us x.x I think the best of us are just trying too hard to find that perfect partner. I mean -- a lot of men I know, when they are scouting for women usually they are looking for marriage material and set their standards too high. Same with women. Online relationships are nice and you can bond more with someones emotions -- but what if they aren't the same in person? I mean... I had that happen to me (but with a friend of the opposite sex) He was DEFINITELY not the same person in person (hence why we aren't friends anymore and I'm a very tolerant person...) =___=;;; Plus... distance makes things hard.

The physical aspect of a relationship is just as important as the emotional. (Not like, getting down and dirty, more like... just affectionate gestures, being able to see your partner in person and admiring them, etc is very important) If they don't live close, then forget about getting extremely close. You can only get so close with an online or distant relationship. Trust me, I've tried before. No matter how much you make yourself think things are great -- they eventually get at an emotional peak and the desire for seeing that person becomes too much and things fall apart. Speed dating too -- is like a pressurized way of trying to put out your best and most interesting features and people can come off nervous or give a bad first impression. The best way is to try and find someone close enough (to where you'd be able to travel to see them enough) maybe, meet and talk to them online a bit and arrange a con meetup. But -- whatever you DO don't meet them alone =___= Always bring a trusted friend. Cannot stress that enough. That person may not be the same person in person... and you can never be too careful with strangers. Cause if they like you enough, they'd eventually have to meet your friends anyways and accept them. That and don't set your expectations too high... or else you might miss out on something great. Oh and don't go crazy and chase after people who don't want you chasing after them. People with unstable emotions -- that resort to stalking, constantly letting themselves think that they will get that person when they were already rejected, etc, not pretty... >o< Just thought I'd throw that in there for y'all. I'm looking -- but in a more friendship first kind of way, then we'll see where things go, manner ^__^

[Sir Viver]

C2Queen, on 08 January 2012 - 01:00 AM, said:

The best hookups are never usually planned, even friendships. And the best people to hookup with aren't random strangers but close friends or friends of friends

THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. This is how I met my girlfriend. We just talked, formed a friendship, and before long, she basically claimed me. Funny thing is, despite having a lot of common interests (in terms of anime, video games, and other media), we don't really talk about them quite as often as we talk about, well... anything and nothing. They account for maybe 15% of our conversations at most. Common interests may have caused us to cross paths in life, but they are not a 'fall back' subject. We literally never have any of those "I don't know what to talk about" moments.

Best part is, she came to me, right after I stopped actively looking. Jumped into my lap. (literally...)

I don't want to come off as a braggart. I feel incredibly lucky to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone like her. Still, if I managed to pull this off, I'm confident that anyone who's ever utilized this thread for its original purpose can. It all begins when you're happy with yourself and realize you don't need a relationship. Liking yourself can be easier said than done. Honestly, when I recently realized "hey, what do you know, I actually kind of like me the way I am," it was the first time in over 10 years that I didn't have some deep underlying sense of self-loathing. It felt amazing, but it requires actually doing something with your life.

Here's how I believe you can tell if the person you're with is the right one for you.

1) You have absolutely zero insecurities about this person.
2) Your feelings of affection for them are unlike those you've felt with anyone else. (To me, this is a sign of true love.)
3) You can talk about anything and nothing; touchy subjects are notably less touchy with this person, if not outright comfortable to discuss with them.
4) Affection seems to be equally divided. They make just as many 'first moves' as you do, and the ratio of who says "I love you" (as opposed to "I love you too") on an average day is roughly 50/50.
5) You're willing to be patient with them, and help them overcome their problems as best you can without asking the same in return. (You know deep down that they'd do the same for you; it's like a nice little unspoken thing.)
6) You can take them the way they are, and they do the same for you. In other words, the only "settling" you'll be doing is settling down with them.

There's a few more signs, I'm sure, and while some peoples' idea of the perfect partner for them may vary, this is-- to me-- something special beyond words, and I really hope everyone who's posted in this thread finds someone like this if they haven't already.

Protip: Wait for her/him to come to you. If they essentially 'claim' you, you won't feel any little insecurities about them leaving you. I can't speak for everyone here, but I think everyone who's come to this thread has been wounded, and while seeking someone out online could be a repeat habit or a new thing to try... You're still seeking. You're still actively looking, in other words you're doing the same crap in a slightly different way. Take a step back. Talk to people at conventions or other get-togethers, but most importantly, don't get your hopes up. I didn't, and this is honestly the best relationship I've ever had.

Oh yeah. Telltale signs #7 and 8...

7) Look back at everything you've done in life, namely the choices and events that led up to meeting this person, either directly or indirectly. The good, the bad, the mediocre. Everything. Then ask yourself, "is this person worth everything I've been through?" If you even have to think about it, then they aren't right for you. If you somehow know, deep down, "Yes," then congrats. You've finally found the one. Which leads me to...

8) No regrets, or at least no regrets in terms of events in the timeline which led to your fateful meeting with this person. No more what-ifs or what-could-have-beens about past failed relationships or girls you've previously pined after but never pursued anything intimate with. If this person truly is right for you, then you won't even care about what life could have been like with someone else. After all, you've found the best (or they found you), so why would you want to settle for less? Hell, you'll be thankful all those past relationships failed because if they didn't, you wouldn't have met your soulmate. (Maybe this is just an elaboration of #7, but I felt these details were worth noting)

So, now that you know how to know you've found the right person... Don't wait for her/him. Just go on about your life. They will come to you, as long as you're not waiting for it to happen.

I know being happy with yourself while single can, for some, be easier said than done. If you don't have a direction in life, find one first. Be determined and resolute, and remain that way even after the right one decides they want you. It will make you that much more appealing.

This post has been edited by Sir Viver: 12 January 2012 - 04:01 AM

[C2Queen]

Sir Viver, on 12 January 2012 - 03:47 AM, said:

THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. This is how I met my girlfriend. We just talked, formed a friendship, and before long, she basically claimed me. Best part is, she came to me, right after I stopped actively looking. Jumped into my lap. (literally...)

It all begins when you're happy with yourself and realize you don't need a relationship. Liking yourself can be easier said than done. Honestly, when I recently realized "hey, what do you know, I actually kind of like me the way I am," it was the first time in over 10 years that I didn't have some deep underlying sense of self-loathing. It felt amazing, but it requires actually doing something with your life.

Here's how I believe you can tell if the person you're with is the right one for you.

1) You have absolutely zero insecurities about this person.
2) Your feelings of affection for them are unlike those you've felt with anyone else. (To me, this is a sign of true love.)
3) You can talk about anything and nothing; touchy subjects are notably less touchy with this person, if not outright comfortable to discuss with them.
4) Affection seems to be equally divided. They make just as many 'first moves' as you do, and the ratio of who says "I love you" (as opposed to "I love you too") on an average day is roughly 50/50.
5) You're willing to be patient with them, and help them overcome their problems as best you can without asking the same in return. (You know deep down that they'd do the same for you; it's like a nice little unspoken thing.)
6) You can take them the way they are, and they do the same for you. In other words, the only "settling" you'll be doing is settling down with them.

There's a few more signs, I'm sure, and while some peoples' idea of the perfect partner for them may vary, this is-- to me-- something special beyond words, and I really hope everyone who's posted in this thread finds someone like this if they haven't already.

Protip: Wait for her/him to come to you. If they essentially 'claim' you, you won't feel any little insecurities about them leaving you. I can't speak for everyone here, but I think everyone who's come to this thread has been wounded, and while seeking someone out online could be a repeat habit or a new thing to try... You're still seeking. You're still actively looking, in other words you're doing the same crap in a slightly different way. Take a step back. Talk to people at conventions or other get-togethers, but most importantly, don't get your hopes up. I didn't, and this is honestly the best relationship I've ever had.

Oh yeah. Telltale signs #7 and 8...

7) Look back at everything you've done in life, namely the choices and events that led up to meeting this person, either directly or indirectly. The good, the bad, the mediocre. Everything. Then ask yourself, "is this person worth everything I've been through?" If you even have to think about it, then they aren't right for you. If you somehow know, deep down, "Yes," then congrats. You've finally found the one. Which leads me to...

8) No regrets, or at least no regrets in terms of events in the timeline which led to your fateful meeting with this person. No more what-ifs or what-could-have-beens about past failed relationships or girls you've previously pined after but never pursued anything intimate with. If this person truly is right for you, then you won't even care about what life could have been like with someone else. After all, you've found the best (or they found you), so why would you want to settle for less? Hell, you'll be thankful all those past relationships failed because if they didn't, you wouldn't have met your soulmate. (Maybe this is just an elaboration of #7, but I felt these details were worth noting)

So, now that you know how to know you've found the right person... Don't wait for her/him. Just go on about your life. They will come to you, as long as you're not waiting for it to happen.

I know being happy with yourself while single can, for some, be easier said than done. If you don't have a direction in life, find one first. Be determined and resolute, and remain that way even after the right one decides they want you. It will make you that much more appealing.

All of this right here was very empowering to read! ^__^ I absolutely agree with everything you are saying. This is some of the best advice I've heard in my life about relationships, to be honest. It's positive enough to get people feeling good about themselves -- and is absolutely 100% percent true. I mean... why do people desire relationships so hard to begin with? Because they feel lonely and unsatisfied with themselves. The moment that they achieve inner peace and finally be happy for themselves -- someone perfect will attract themselves to them because of the confidence they display and the fact that they are independent. Not to mention we already get so much out of close friendships -- attention, certain affections, getting worried about. These are things some people strive for a lot when wanting a relationship because they are insecure and unhappy with themselves. If you get into a relationship already feeling down on yourself and having doubts -- the outlook will never be good. Other people can't fix you. They can guide you to fix yourself. But they can't individually fix you. It's all about mindset. It can be a tricky and very difficult game. If you have to rely on others to bring you satisfaction and get you feeling less empty... you'll never be good enough to love another person. By that -- I mean, if you can't love yourself enough you'll never have them happy either. If you can't love yourself -- people will notice and become unhappy with the fact that you are unhappy. You have to put yourself before the rest of the world. You are the only one who can live your own life and take action with your decisions. No one can take away the power to think, to dream, to love. You only have one life to live and time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time. Do more for yourself people -- and stop relying on physical engagements to try and mend the empty feelings you have inside -- its not fulfilling if you only fulfill what your body wants and not your heart as well. Give yourself more love and attention, let yourself be happy for gods sake instead of constantly trying to stress yourself out with every little problem that passes your way. You don't have to save everyone and solve all their problems. I feel like... not enough people love themselves correctly. I know I don't. I want to change that -- it's about mindset, remember that.

[Sir Viver]

C2Queen, on 12 January 2012 - 05:33 AM, said:

(everything)

Agreed, entirely... and, again, finally being able to have no regrets/ second thoughts feels amazing. Finally happened to me less than a month ago, and I honestly felt reborn. It's a very hard mindset to reach, but the moment you stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop seeing a relationship as a necessity to fill in something empty about yourself is the moment you start truly living. After that, things will eventually fall into place in ways you couldn't have even imagined. I honestly thought people like my girlfriend didn't really exist... then she just came out of nowhere and pounced on me. Again, people, don't go to meet-ups or cons looking to chase some tail. I was just talking to her in a friendly manner at first (I might have flirted back just a little, but the key word there is "back"), without ulterior motives, and now... heh, winning. (Incidentally, we tend to sing this together frequently, as well as D*ck Riding Obama, and Jonathan Coulton stuff... XD "Adorkable" describes us quite well when we're together.)

[XenoBlade]

So much win were in these last posts.


sad truth is probably will not be heeded by those who do the complaining. :/

[Jguy]

Sir Viver, on 12 January 2012 - 11:08 AM, said:

Agreed, entirely... and, again, finally being able to have no regrets/ second thoughts feels amazing. Finally happened to me less than a month ago, and I honestly felt reborn. It's a very hard mindset to reach, but the moment you stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop seeing a relationship as a necessity to fill in something empty about yourself is the moment you start truly living. After that, things will eventually fall into place in ways you couldn't have even imagined. I honestly thought people like my girlfriend didn't really exist... then she just came out of nowhere and pounced on me. Again, people, don't go to meet-ups or cons looking to chase some tail. I was just talking to her in a friendly manner at first (I might have flirted back just a little, but the key word there is "back"), without ulterior motives, and now... heh, winning. (Incidentally, we tend to sing this together frequently, as well as D*ck Riding Obama, and Jonathan Coulton stuff... XD "Adorkable" describes us quite well when we're together.)

+1 this post. I had a similar thing happen to me recently, and it does make you feel revitalized. The key is not to go into a conversation with the opposite sex as "looking to get some", but rather into a conversation as looking to make a friend. Who knows what will happen. We met online (which is really...weird these days) and she lives in Columbus, but the moment we started talking, we almost fell in love with each other right away. She had to ask me for my skype and number and we started skyping and texting almost non stop. In the month that we've been going at it, I've had more texts from/to her than my best friend, who's been in my phone since I had to reset it a number of months ago. XD

Anyway, go into a conversation and just be yourself. Don't go in to try and "get some", but rather to make a friend. throw on the wits a bit if you really like her, and perhaps she'll like you back. ;3

[Sir Viver]

Word to the wise: Have a date? Expect nothing. I cannot emphasize this enough. Don't expect a single damn thing beyond casual conversation and nonsexual activities. You'll be amazed how far this initial attitude will take you. If she really is the right one, you won't have to make all those 'first moves' that you're so prone to making. Above all else, take a receptive attitude toward everything. The more patient you are, and show that you are, the less patient you'll have to be.

[Jguy]

Perhaps this thread should be renamed to "ACen Relationship advice"?

[STVO]

Jguy, on 15 January 2012 - 07:26 PM, said:

Perhaps this thread should be renamed to "ACen Relationship advice"?

Not a bad idea, but I think this overly long thread could be shut down because people don't want to shift through pages of bios to get to the advice. After that, open a thread called "Loveline(then get sued)" or something like that and start fresh. Maybe there is a thread like that already. Anyhow the advice you guys have been discussing have been good and MAYBE some will utilize it. We'll see....

[Prayer Police]

Advice:
-Girls love bastards.
-There is no such thing as too much Axe spray.
-If you can't bathe, cologne is a perfect substitute.

[Sir Viver]

Prayer Police, on 19 January 2012 - 09:23 AM, said:

Advice:
-Girls love bastards.
-There is no such thing as too much Axe spray.
-If you can't bathe, cologne is a perfect substitute.

On a related note, use aftershave. Even if you didn't shave. Mix it into your neckbeard. B*tches love aftershave.

[STVO]

Advice:
Girls love it when you play video games around them. Especially when you are playing a one player game and tell them they can't have a turn. They love it even more if you tell them to get you some Mountain Dew and Dorritos.

[Sir Viver]

STVO, on 19 January 2012 - 06:33 PM, said:

Girls love it when you play video games around them.

This part is actually true, for some.

[STVO]

Sir Viver, on 20 January 2012 - 05:05 AM, said:

This part is actually true, for some.

Touche'. Curse my failed sarcasm, lol. At least the last half isn't.

[Kickastina]

STVO, on 20 January 2012 - 11:30 AM, said:

Touche'. Curse my failed sarcasm, lol. At least the last half isn't.

I don't know about that.
I absolutely love being subservient and fetching men their snacks. =P

(not really)

[Prayer Police]

*Women love it when a guy doesn't call back, at all, after a first date. It makes the guy seem desperate.
*Lapdance from a stripper in a strip club: Not cheating.
Lapdance from a fellow patron at a club: Cheating.
*Any anniversaries within a year of the relationship is inconsequential.
*If the woman doesn't even offer to pay for dinner at least once every 7 meals, that's grounds for dumping.
*If you're a man, and you like women, then you'd better not even be caught wearing colored contact lenses.

[RaveZombie]

Troll all the bitches.......

[Wingy Baby]

Haha, useless dating thread: why u no die?!

[HiroEcks]

LF date this weekend. Any takers?

[Sir Viver]

RaveZombie, on 24 January 2012 - 06:05 PM, said:

Troll all the bitches.......

Troll ALL the bitches...?

[STVO]

New Dating Advice:
• Start using Groupon more often and be sure to tell your date to cap it as close to the limit as possible.
• $1 Menu Does Wonders!
* Baskin Robins will always allow two free sample spoons of ice cream. This piece is crucial!