[wrexness]

I don't have any real good stories, but I think my graveyard shift co-worker is rubbing off on me a little. He's the guy who's been on the team forever, about 8 years or so doing his job, so he really knows his stuff. On top of that, he's not one to pull any punches. I've literally heard him talking to users on the phone, calling them a-holes and idiots. XD Thus far I've managed to resist the urge to follow through like that, but damn is it hard.

This post has been edited by wrexness: 06 March 2010 - 01:05 PM

[Carnage_Black3]

I knew what you meant. The theater used to be a shrine when a disney movie was showing.

[Lina]

Carnage_Black3, on Mar 6 2010, 01:45 PM, said:

I knew what you meant. The theater used to be a shrine when a disney movie was showing.

lol

[retro]

maling out in the theater during disney movies is just sad.

[SupremeKai]

I work at a small neighborhood liquor store and one night while we were getting ready to close a very drunk person comes in and then his pants fall down and then he falls taking half a shelf of very expensive beer and vodka.

Then one of the ones that i really like to tell during one of my early days a woman took a dump on the floor. Now i do not know if she planned it i like to think not but i really do not like thinking about that one. luckily enough my shift was just ending and the night shift guy had to clean it up.

And finally some guy have me a hundred dollar tip for taking out some liquor to his car, made last ACEN that much more fun

[mendokuse]

When I worked at a movie theater, a drunk man gave me a hug. No real touching, just a hug. For "being such a nice guy." My manager was watching from her desk with an inquisitive look on her face and then laughed at me when I told her that he was inebriated.

[Carnage_Black3]

I get random hugs, a few times a week. Mostly from drunk girls. Sometimes sober girls, and sometimes the random drunk guys. The guys are what scare me.

[Mock-Kappa]

A couple of stories come to mind from back when I worked at a public library as a page (book shelfer). (no puns ment in any of that.) My main memories of working as a page for three years is basically putting books away, dealing with various bums and people, random weird moments, and my almost never there supervisor writing notes mentioning that other workers are supposely commenting that I stand around doing nothing (Then again , some of the people who wrote those notes were really commenting on how I was a fast and friendly worker, who would get the job done and maybe should be moved up to a more challenging postion.)
Any who:
Story #1: I have everything together.
One night at the library, we had this boastful soccer super-mom who has everything planned out to a "T" type come in with her two teenage daughters. After a while they come up to the front check out desk to check out some books for some project and the mother starts in with something like this. " Oh yes, well Cindy will start taking cello lessons on Thursday , after that she'll go to her kick boxing class and then she'll come home for an hour or so have diner and start working on her science fair project of testing the effects of different power drinks on rats in a maze. Then on Friday, she will have water polo over at the Y , while Fran will be taking a young artist program interpeted dance class, then we have to go out diner with Drik. Then this weekend we are going to go volunteer at the Brookfield Zoo and help clean the penguin exhibit and then ............Another five mintues go by.......... It's kinda a pain but it's nice to know that I have everything well though out and under control that nothing could possible go wrong.". She then procedes to open her purse wallet and says" Where's my library card?"

Story #2: Count your luck stars.
As I mention above one thing that I had to deal with off and on at the library was different homeless people. Most of the behaved their selves and most of the problems would be minor things like someone falling asleep in a chair , looking at "Online adult sites", or using the bathrooms to wash up. Nothing too out of the norm. The majority of them were just looking for a place to crash at to get out of the weather and kept to themselves. One of our regulars was this sweet old Polish man who had lived through the German invasion during WW2. Always a nice guy to talk to and had some great stories of his own about some of the things he had to do aviod capture from the Nazis. Any way this one time, when I first started working there. I'm up in the balcony area shelfing some non-fiction books and straighting some shelves and he comes up to me and says " You know you're very lucky get to stay here all day and be with books. I have to go now." He then turns around and walks down the stairs, leaving me with a WTF look on my face and thinking "What smells like cat food?"

Story #3: Remeber you don't know anything.
I'm sure most of us at least know of the dew decimel system. Well this one time, I'm organizing a cart full of books up in the balcony area and I have this mother and son come up to me and ask if I can help them find a book. The mother hands me a piece of paper with just the number part with no book title , author, or letter part. So I take them over to the shelf with that call number, tell them that the book they are looking should be on this shelf here, and then turn around go back to organizing. About a few minutes later, they go down get one of the reference desk to help them find the book. Needless, to say they find it and as they are walking back down, the mother turns to the reference lady and tells her that "You guys really need to train your staff better." Who in turns says "Well , mam , he's up here more and knows where everything more than anyone else." After, a while I go down to tell my side of the story to the reference lady , who just looks at me and says don't worry about her she's a jerk.

[Neko_master_Luna]

While working at a new Target & us only being open for a week. I was in toys near where our bathrooms for employees only is. We were told it was for employees only & to let us customer use it could result in us loosing our job. Plenty of people had asked if we had some back there, in witch I have lied & said, "No, we only have them up front & we use the same ones as you." Well I had a barely English speaking man come up to me asking if there were bathrooms back here, in witch I rattled off my usual line. Then he demanded that I take him to them & pointed to his crotch saying he had an accident & asking again. The Guy had a major erection & asked again, while pointing to his crotch again. While blushing, I stammered the same thing, I said I was sorry, but we still only have them in the front of the store. It was creepy because he was in toys & I shudder to think why he got one over there. I'm gonna hope it was some thing barbie was waring & not kids.

[Fullmetal_C]

Neko_master_Luna, on Mar 7 2010, 01:40 PM, said:

While working at a new Target & us only being open for a week. I was in toys near where our bathrooms for employees only is. We were told it was for employees only & to let us customer use it could result in us loosing our job. Plenty of people had asked if we had some back there, in witch I have lied & said, "No, we only have them up front & we use the same ones as you." Well I had a barely English speaking man come up to me asking if there were bathrooms back here, in witch I rattled off my usual line. Then he demanded that I take him to them & pointed to his crotch saying he had an accident & asking again. The Guy had a major erection & asked again, while pointing to his crotch again. While blushing, I stammered the same thing, I said I was sorry, but we still only have them in the front of the store. It was creepy because he was in toys & I shudder to think why he got one over there. I'm gonna hope it was some thing barbie was waring & not kids.

*_*
That is scary...WOW! I always give credit to people who work in Toy departments, like walmart, target ect. i don't know about you but whenever evenings roll around it seems all the high school kids come to walmart to entertain themselves and where do they go? The toy department of course! You can always hear girls screaming and laughing, bike horns honking and our management team lags to do anything to prevent it (unless it is really effecting other customers) People must have nerves of steel to work in that department.

[KirbyFanOne]

Mock-Kappa, on Mar 7 2010, 11:26 AM, said:

Story #1: I have everything together.
One night at the library, we had this boastful soccer super-mom who has everything planned out to a "T" type come in with her two teenage daughters. After a while they come up to the front check out desk to check out some books for some project and the mother starts in with something like this. " Oh yes, well Cindy will start taking cello lessons on Thursday , after that she'll go to her kick boxing class and then she'll come home for an hour or so have diner and start working on her science fair project of testing the effects of different power drinks on rats in a maze. Then on Friday, she will have water polo over at the Y , while Fran will be taking a young artist program interpeted dance class, then we have to go out diner with Drik. Then this weekend we are going to go volunteer at the Brookfield Zoo and help clean the penguin exhibit and then ............Another five mintues go by.......... It's kinda a pain but it's nice to know that I have everything well though out and under control that nothing could possible go wrong.". She then procedes to open her purse wallet and says" Where's my library card?"

*Shrugs shoulders*

[wrexness]

KirbyFanOne, on Mar 7 2010, 08:45 PM, said:

*Shrugs shoulders*

Sweet! I always wanted my own "waa waa" machine XD

[Kitsu-chan]

I usually get stupid people who mistake me for female. Which is rather funny cause when I'm not at Acen I don't shave. I've got a full beard & have guys either grab my butt or hear the lamest pickup lines ever used >.<

I did have fun last week when a drunk grabbed my butt & decided to call ME a perv. He tried to hit me & missed horribly. A cop who happened to be there at the moment grabbed him as my boss came out. Thankfully the cop told my boss the drunk started it & I was just defending myself, otherwise I would be out of a job.

[wrexness]

Kitsu-chan, on Mar 7 2010, 08:57 PM, said:

I usually get stupid people who mistake me for female. Which is rather funny cause when I'm not at Acen I don't shave. I've got a full beard & have guys either grab my butt or hear the lamest pickup lines ever used >.<

I did have fun last week when a drunk grabbed my butt & decided to call ME a perv. He tried to hit me & missed horribly. A cop who happened to be there at the moment grabbed him as my boss came out. Thankfully the cop told my boss the drunk started it & I was just defending myself, otherwise I would be out of a job.

Well it's obviously your fault for having such a nice butt. XP

[Carnage_Black3]

I have one from just last night.

It was a Sunday night. Now, It's usually busy til about 3am. Mainly due to the fact people are getting drunk. Since they aren't at any of the nearby bars, no one is there to say they had enough. Night like these, I carry a full complement of various weapons. Yes, retail can be like that time to time. Well, a drunk guys came in and grabbed a box of spaghetti, a jar of sauce, and a gallon of milk. Not that odd of a purchase. After I ring him up, I bag the noodles and sauce, take the money, give him back his change, and ask if he needed a bag for the milk. He said no, he'll just use the bag already loaded. I told him the bag will rip. He said no problem and tried to put the milk in the bag. I warned him, "If you put that milk in the bag and it rips, I will not replace anything that breaks." He said screw you, release one of the handle and tried to force the milk in the bag. And of course, he dropped the milk, breaking it all over the floor. He began walking to the back, I asked, "Where are you going?" "To get another gallon of milk." "No, you're not. I gave you fair warning, you disregarded it, and it did just as I said it would." F**k you! I'm getting my milk!" I get out from behind the counter and block his path. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." "I'm not f**king leaving til I get my milk mother f**ker!" I could tell by the way he was moving, he was going to try swinging the bag still in hand at me. He did. It spun around him, released, and struck another customer. I drew my ASP baton, for those who don't know its a collapsible baton, extended it, and told him, he "will not be leaving the store until the police come." Two customers were already on their own phones calling the police as I had said that. The customer who was hit seemed alright at the time. "Take your best shot b**ch," he said while drawing a pocket knife. I hate it when they think that it really scares me. I drew out my own knife, a nice 12" long dagger which I had on my belt and in my pocket, harder to see, like I said, Sunday nights can be like that. Now he sees me holding the baton in my left hand and dagger in my right. He literally peed himself, dropped his knife, and begged on his knees for me to let him go. At that time, I sheathed the dagger as the police started pulling up, luckily for me, they are cops I give coffee to on a nightly basis. I explained to them the situation and before the cuffed him, the made him mop up the urine, and the milk. I decided not to press charges since they had him clean it, but the customer who was hit did. If I'm not mistaken, he was arrested for battery. They may bring him up on other charges, can't really get much info since I'm not the one pressing those charges.

I think I need a different job somethings. I think a bouncer is safer. Perhaps even a security guard.

[KirbyFanOne]

Carnage_Black3, on Mar 8 2010, 12:29 PM, said:

A really kick butt story.

Where the Heck do you work? Wal-Marts Baghdad division?

[Briefasa]

I work as a mail clerk so I open and sort out surveys.
People put really bizzare things in with the survey. I get a bunch of religious stuff and anti-religious stuff.... [I'm Christian, but this is really REALLY annoying.]
And today I found a bunch of PeTA stuff.
And a guy put his picture in with the survey and gave his number and wrote for all the "pretty little ladies" to give him a call.... He was born in 1920...

But, yeah. If you mail in a survey, please don't add junk. It's a waste of your time and the people sorting them's time since we don't have time to go through any of the junk mail. Only send the survey. DX

[Carnage_Black3]

KirbyFanOne, on Mar 8 2010, 04:05 PM, said:

Where the Heck do you work? Wal-Marts Baghdad division?

I wish. It'd be safer. I work at 7-11, Chicago Division.

[Ashikana]

So on sunday I was working behind concessions so i have my hair pulled back in pigtail braids and my hat on. So I was helping someone out and she says
'Oh your hair! Its so thick!' To which I responded, 'Yeah it is pretty thick'
She then went on and on about my hair for like 5 minutes, asking about it, saying she wished her hair was like mine, asking me how much I loved my hair and how pretty it was.

After she left I stood there and asked one of the guys if that really happened. He laughed.

[Carnage_Black3]

I hate when people want my hair. I hate the slight curl it has to it. Although, my biggest hair question at work is if I dye my beard.

[Neko_master_Luna]

Wow good stories, here's mine from Monday. I got left by my self in Electronics, coworker panicked & took lunch before my shift ended. I was doing great with juggling customers on the new picture machines, the phone & in the department. Then I get a call from what I thought was a lady( no manners what so ever) She ask if we have any PS3's, I said let me check. I knew we had one earlier in the day. We still had a 120 GB, so I tell her we have one. Then she ask how much, still being kind of new, I went to look & told her so. When I got back & told her, she said, "Great, I'll take it. Put it on hold for me." I said, "I'm sorry, we do not hold high ticket items." Her response, "Well, I'm coming all the way from Wisconsin, so just put it aside for me." "So I repeat, "I'm sorry, I can not hold high ticket items, high demand items or sale items. It is company policy" Her response, "But I am driving all the way from Wisconsin & you only have one? If it's sold before I get there, I'm just telling you I am going to be pissed. What's your name? (I answer)Well, I'm Mary & you remember that, I'm leaving NOW!" Then she hung up on me. My coworker returns & I warn her, telling her I should warn management, another coworker heard & paged for the manager to call us. Just as a nice gentleman walks up. (now at this point, if she had been nice, I would have bent the rule & held it for her for an hour, I didn't know it would be a 3 hour drive for her) The man ask if we have any PS3's? This was not even 2 minuets after the wench's call. I crack an evil grin & tell him exactly what we have & ask him if wants it. I think when he said yes, I did a jig. My coworkers actually cringed at my smile, then laughed as well. I had to answer the phone to tell my manager, while my coworker got the system for him. The gentleman heard ever thing I told my manager, while even said I was selling that system to a nice gentleman. Sure enough, 3 hours later, I was eating dinner at my store & gonna start some shopping myself, when I got a text telling me the wench was here & pissed. I missed seeing her, but I guess she was heard yelling half way through the store. My poor coworker told her she didn't have to listen to this & she would get a manager & almost asked her if she was from Wisconsin. The manager had to listen to her go on about things, while adding the F word to every sentence, This lady swore so much in front another customer with a little kid. (she even told my manager that I had said I would hold it for her, but my manager told her that I had informed him of the situation & did my job by fallowing the rules)Then she pointed at my coworker & asked if it was he,r she spoke with on the phone. My coworker told her no. I think some one called the cops too, but she had stormed off before they could catch her. I hope she enjoyed her 3 hour ride home. The sad thing was, she was old enough to be a Grandmother.

[sentinel28a]

Neko: paragraph breaks are your friend.

I'm pretty sure Carnage has the worst job on earth. But since we're posting numerous examples of job stories, I'll lighten the mood some, and remind myself never to piss CarnageBlack off. Or buy milk again.

I promised the tale of the Night of the Peep Show, for it is a crazy tale. Sit down, children...actually, no, put the kids to bed, because this is somewhat NSFW:

This happened when I was working nightwatch at college dorms, which nine times out of ten is one of the best minimum-wage jobs in the world. If you can get it while going to school, take the job. Not too many jobs allow you to goof off for four or five hours and get paid for it. And had it not been for working nightwatch, I would not be on this forum or going to ACen, because I met the people who got me into anime in a big way--and Anime Central--while working nightwatch.

Our tale begins on the "tenth" time, when working nightwatch sucks--the weekends. From navigating hallways where the lights have been pulled out, trying not to die in a visible cloud of pot smoke, to calling 911 for the 18 year olds who have just discovered the wonders of alcohol poisoning, weekends aren't much fun for nightwatch. But I recall that this particular night was fairly quiet, maybe because we were into midterm week and it was cold outside. Anyhow, I close up the office and go on one of my two required security patrols.

The dorm I worked at was multi-level, four stories. I had a route I took every shift that worked pretty well, allowing me to go through the entire dorm without backtracking and keeping the unlocking/locking of doors to a minimum (the dorms were co-ed, but separated into different levels; the girls' floors were locked). Part of my route took me past the dorm study hall, which was left unlocked and could be used at any time. Part of our job was to switch off the lights if they weren't in use, and if the lights were off, to switch them on and check around to make sure nobody was getting baked in the study hall, which was depressingly common.

So I'm passing the study hall at 3 AM. The dorms are quiet as the proverbial churchmouse. I pass by the study hall, see the lights are off, and walk in, switching them on. And you can see where this is going: I hear a girl scream. Being the steely-eyed Defender of the Dorm, I did not pee my pants or jump through the nearest window. I immediately turned in that direction. In the unforgiving glare of the overhead flourescents is a couple doing the horizontal tango, with a sleeping bag to protect from chafing on the shag carpet.

The girl, after being startled from the heights of ecstasy (I suppose; maybe the guy wasn't that good), plays it smart: she stays on the ground and rolls herself up in the sleeping bag--though not before your intrepid scribe (that's me) gets a view of a very shapely butt. That view is abruptly blocked by some SOB of a guy, who stands up, naked as the day he was born, and with physical signs that he was enjoying what (or rather who) he had been doing before I switched on the lights. He then demands, "Dude! What the hell did you switch on the lights for?!"

Without thinking, I say, "Sorry," and switch them off, mainly because I really could've done without the johnson shot. Then remembering my duty as the Defender of the Dorm, I tell them, "Look, you can't be doing that in here!"

"Why not?" the girl shrills.

I admit I don't have an answer for that one, other than "because nightwatch might catch you naked, and it's bad enough that we hear people having sex through their dorm doors as it is." So I say with authority, "Because it's against college policy." Which sounded dumb even to me. "And because I have to report it to the RA." Which wasn't necessarily true, but I was now pissed off that the guy stood up and not the girl. "So you're going to have to go back to your dorm room, one of you, and you can finish up there." And at that point I felt like Han Solo telling the Imperials they didn't need to send up a squad because there was a reactor leak and it was very dangerous.

"We can't," the guy says, "my roomie's asleep."

"And mine is studying," the girl adds.

Well, you should live off-campus like me, I wanted to say, and this crap wouldn't happen to you. "I'm sorry," I replied, "but those are the rules." And because I now feel like a jerk, I say, "Look. I don't have to go on my next walkaround for another hour. As long as you're gone by then, I won't say anything." I felt like saying, "And if you can't finish her off in an hour, you fail at being a guy," but the guy was bigger than me....no, that's not what I mean...and even in the dark, I could tell that he was probably contemplating homicide.

"That's cool," he replies. "Thanks, man."

"No problem," I said, and retreated out the door, closing them securely. I then went back to the office, trying to stifle laughter, and wrote the entire incident down in our "doofer book," which was just where we recorded incidents like this for future reference by the RAs and for future laughter for all. Hell, I didn't know who they were, and all I could tell you about the girl was that she had black hair. And that's not what I mean either, hentai of the ACen forums.

Yes, they were gone by the next hour.

So concludes the Night of the Peep Show. Postscript: I told one of the RAs about it later, because we were telling nightwatch horror stories one night. He tells me that he thinks he knew who they were, and tells me this story: a few nights before, he had heard them going at it, and had I dawdled on my walkaround, I too probably would've learned that she was a screamer. He had come in on the tail end of things, so to speak, and hearing that they were done, he wrote on a piece of paper, "THANKS FOR THE SHOW, (SIGNED) THE MANAGEMENT" and slipped it under their door.

Which explains why they were in the study hall. It was soundproofed.

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"I am not a hentai"

[Neko_master_Luna]

That is a good one & sorry, I forget them when I am this tired. It'a miracle I can even spell right. I am currently pondering a double homicide of my neighbors who are butchering the guitar now that it is almost 2am.

[Carnage_Black3]

Sentinel28a, you can still buy milk.

[Carnage_Black3]

Sentinel28a, you can still buy milk.

[wrexness]

Sent, I love your story-telling abilities... XD

[Krystal]

XD Best story ever. It's funny, because at the dorm where I'm staying next year, in one if the study rooms, there's a sign that says "Safe Sex Room".

[Valkyrie]

I actually have one from Saturday. Oh, how I love weekends at the shelter.

I may have told some of you about some of the cats I work with. This story concerns one of our most infamous: Dustbunny.

Now here's the thing about Dustbunny. She is a beautiful grey longhair, with slim streaks of white here and there, and a face that absolutely screams "Pish posh you lowly human slaves." In fact, she always holds herself in such a way that she appears incredibly well-bred and dignified. BUT, she only accepts attention on her own terms. If you don't approach her correctly, and at the right time, she will give you a displeased look and try to slap your hand away. (Oh, and she doesn't like having her claws trimmed, so if she happens to use her claws too, you'll leave with a nice scratch that WILL have drawn blood.) She is the prima donna of the cat room, and she knows it.

That said, she is also a hand magnet. Through no fault of her own, even when she tries to stay out of sight, she always manages to catch people's eyes, and thus their temptation to want to pet her or play with her. Kids are especially prone to this.

Now, on Saturday, we had some volunteers in who decided they were going to tease Dustbunny early on in the afternoon. We shooed them away, but she was already irritated. Then we had swarms of people coming through, many of them with children. Now, some kids that come in are sweethearts, and do as they're told/warned. Other kids shouldn't be around animals period. Unfortunately, there was no good place for Dustbunny to hide, so she was forced to endure people and their kids constantly trying to pet her. Those of us on staff (as well as the veteran volunteers) did our best to try to steer people away from her, to give her some measure of peace, but it didn't always work.

It was about...threeish in the afternoon when one family was going through. They were comprised of several adults and a few young boys (who, by the way, were some of the most well-behaved kids I've ever seen). One of these kids had found a cat toy on the floor, and was looking for someone to give it to. Then he spotted Dustbunny on a nearby cat tree. She was incredibly irritated by this time, had little patience for adults approaching...and zero for kids. But the boy didn't know that. As I was coming up, I saw him carefully place the toy (in a gesture of good faith) next to Dustbunny. She responded by clapping her paw, claws partially out, on his wrist. He gave a little cry, took his hand back, and Dustbunny glared at him. I took the boy aside (his mom was already there), and put hand sanitizer on the claw marks. (She'd only punctured the skin in teo places, rather than leaving lines, but she'd gotten him just deep enough where he was starting to bleed.) So I got him a bandaid, gave him a pat on the shoulder after putting it on, and called him a trooper. During this process, I explained to the mom (who was an absolute angel, and didn't flip out at all over the situation) about Dustbunny. I then added as her son ventured off to find a nicer cat that he got lucky, as Dustbunny has been known to be much more severe with her claws, and she'd been harassed by people all day. The mom was very understanding, and even paused to say "I'm sorry sweetie" to Dustbunny as she passed her.

That same family actually wound up adopting another cat with a similar spunky attitude, but not so prone to irritation and dislike for children. ^^

[Krystal]

Awwww...that's a really cute story. What shelter do you work at?

[Doggeh]

Lina, on Mar 6 2010, 07:12 AM, said:

One of my co-workers found this couple having sex during Princess and the Frog. lol

Seriously? We had that at our theater too!

I have so many horrible stories from working at a movie theater. Over the weekend we had a guy running around stealing tickets from people trying to get refunds.

There was another great moment when Avatar first came out and people were going inane over the movie. We were cleaning one of our theaters and most people were smart enough to figure out there was a line set up for people waiting to get into the next show. One guy misses the massive amount of people standing in line and walks right into the theater just as we start cleaning. We told him that we still had to clean and that there was a line outside. Just as my supervisor was about to step in, he pulls her aside and just reams her out because he didn't know about the line and we shoulda told him and its all OUR FAULT. Nevermind the fact we did tell him about the line and sorry you werent smart enough to show up an hour early like everyone else did.

My favorite hobby is to kick kids out of R rated movies though. Its fun.