[Lady_Aeris]

I HATE that line with a passion especially after hearing it last weekend. So i know that EVERYONE has or will hear this at least once in their life but i thought id post to give people a chance to share their stories of how those words have affected them...




I've learned that guys who let their friends and family intimidate them don't make very good boyfriends in the end because they listen to what other people want and not to what THEY want. And they tend to pull someone in fast and then decide later that they aren't "Ready for a relationship" even though it was their idea in the first place.

[Voxx]

Honestly if someone says something like that, it IS you that is causing them to say that. They just dont know how else to put it. I've said that before and that is honestly how I felt about it. I said that to my ex before because well, it was indeed him that caused the issues. He wasnt what I wanted in a significant other but I didnt want to just say that, and learning from that you really should just say what you mean lol. So it is never one sided...

[Lady_Aeris]

i know its not one sided and i told him that and he once again tells me its him. and i was just like wow did u now just turn 24 and ur using a high school break up like i just looked at him and said "grow a pair and be a man" i know im at fault for some things but i just hate when people blame it on themselves because it take 2 people to be in a relationship

[Keiichi-chan]

another relationship thread.
cue about 5 pages of responses.


i haven't really heard that line much or spoken it, but sometimes it's probably sincere--
sometimes it isn't. either way, you probably deserve a lot better, anyway.

[TaiyakiOni]

Used that line once and it was true...

We had been dating for a year, and then i decided I wanted adventure in my life and wanted to travel a bit and move around while I am still young, SO I told her my plans to do so and she pouted saying I hadn't figured her into my life plans ( mind you I was just 21 and she was 24, a 3 year age difference ) which meant she was looking for a BIG long term commitment that I couldn't give her. So in a sense it was me being unable to commit due to wanting my freedom to do what I want and travel. ( Though she WAS a bit clingy... )

Its still a bad line to use just to drop someone WITHOUT good reason.

[FlyingElf]

Ska_Toranpetta, on Feb 23 2010, 12:56 AM, said:

Honestly if someone says something like that, it IS you that is causing them to say that. They just dont know how else to put it. I've said that before and that is honestly how I felt about it. I said that to my ex before because well, it was indeed him that caused the issues. He wasnt what I wanted in a significant other but I didnt want to just say that, and learning from that you really should just say what you mean lol. So it is never one sided...

This is basically how 90% of these cases go I believe.

[~Sarah-Chan~]

I concur with what Elf said. I have heard that in so many times from watching the failed relationships of my friends. That seems to be the norm..."Its not you its me......" Blah

[Lady_Aeris]

ive heard it from a couple exs and i will admit one of them went off to navy so i was probably better off but this guy still wants to be friends but im not good enough for his friends and his parents cause im a single mom and they dont approve so they all gave him crap about it. but if he really cared they shouldnt have been able to have that affect

[Naruto9thDemon]

I think I've had like 3 or 4 of my friends that were girls tell me that their bf said that to them. I just said "Are you serious?" It's like the response you use when you just don't feel like dealing with it or telling the truth. Just kinda make them feel better cause it's you that's the problem not them. I mean might as well just come out and say why you don't have feelings for them anymore if your going to say it anyway. To be honest I always thought it was a movie type thing.

[Alkaren Hyralt]

There seems to be a lot of these kinds of threads lately.

[Kii]

It could really be him, actually.

Maybe he's going through a lot of crap right now and realizes that you're too good to be put through the wringer while he's going through emotional turbulence.

Or maybe while he realizes you're a wonderful girl and deserving of someone amazing, he's still in love with someone else, even though he shouldn't be.

Damn, sometimes you people really need to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

[Lina]

Kii, on Feb 23 2010, 02:04 AM, said:

It could really be him, actually.

Maybe he's going through a lot of crap right now and realizes that you're too good to be put through the wringer while he's going through emotional turbulence.

Or maybe while he realizes you're a wonderful girl and deserving of someone amazing, he's still in love with someone else, even though he shouldn't be.

Damn, sometimes you people really need to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

QFT

Some people just don't want to see someone they really care about get hurt because they are trying to become a better person or trying to change the way they live life, etc. There are plenty of reasons someone wouldn't want someone they really care about to get caught up in what they are trying to do/change.

[Lord Warhammer]

eh, crap happens.

[Naruto9thDemon]

Kii, on Feb 23 2010, 02:04 AM, said:

It could really be him, actually.

Maybe he's going through a lot of crap right now and realizes that you're too good to be put through the wringer while he's going through emotional turbulence.

Or maybe while he realizes you're a wonderful girl and deserving of someone amazing, he's still in love with someone else, even though he shouldn't be.

Damn, sometimes you people really need to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

I loled

[Morbid Intentions]

last time I broke up with someone I simply said "I don't think i want to continue this".... I get asked why to which I respond... "stuff isn't working out how I want it" her response "oh, alright, that's a shame.... I'm not mad or anything, I still want to hang and stuff"

I've never heard "It's not you, it's me" IRL... and I highly doubt I ever will, breaking up is a simple process that should be fairly easy to do based on the simple fact it's not what "YOU" want anymore... too many people put too much stock in hurting other peoples feelings and getting their feelings hurt over someone elses decision on what they want in their lives






"YOU only live once, f*** everyone else"

- Morbid Intentions

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 23 February 2010 - 05:19 AM

[wrexness]

I said it, and I meant it. Are there things about my ex that irked me? Yes, but in the end those were just pet peeves. In the end I looked at things and said, "You know what, I'm 24, I've been with you for four years, and you're the only real serious girlfriend I've ever had. I don't want to settle down without both spending some time as a bachelor so I can enjoy myself as well as playing the field some." It's cliche, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

[Sid_Highwind]

The line CAN be true...but in my experience it never has been :S My first GF had the decency to tell me it was me, my second one just kinda ran off because she didn't want to confront me with the issues she thought we were having, and the third one did in fact use that line even though it was BS. *le sigh* But honestly the line wouldn't bother me if it really was them, like the Navy guy situation that was mentioned.

And to answer the question about why so many relationship threads lately? Prolly just the winter blues.

[nouseforaname]

I've never said or told anyone that line. Plus George Costanza invented it so no one's really allowed to use it.

[Isamu]

I once used the line (It's not me, it's you) to which she went off the deep end and started chasing me with a knife while yelling "If you can't see how wonderful I am then I will have to show you". Since then I've learned not to pick up chicks that are standing in front of a mental health facility.

[klange]

"Let's just be friends."

[spazchan]

*walks in eats popcorn...
It is after Valentine's aka Break-Up season...
Most relationships end right after Valentine's...
I have heard the "Let's just be friends" line many times in fact I am close friends with my first girlfriend the rest of them tend to fade away after time. Most times it is because they found a more attractive guy or some guy that they started to flirt with while we were dating. The truth is in my case, I am the "boy" friend. And instead of getting intimate the women would rather protect the close friendship with me. In most cases I watch them progress and find happiness and there would be me smiling as I usually do. I learnt to mask the pain of rejection even from myself. I decided not to care anymore for a relationship. If it happens, it happens; otherwise I will live my life like I have been.

[XenoBlade]

yup...another relationship thread...kinda just like Keiichi said...Cue in the pages, but also cue in the "It's another relationship thread and make light of the situation" posters too. Which I'm kinda doing myself.

Man relationships are just too big a factor in people's life I swear. Even those big tough people who SAY it isn't important will break apart if they don't get any sort of love. I've seen it. Oh well.

I couldn't even give advice since I haven't really had that said to me, or have I said that to anyone.

But if this was some guy that you liked for a while, I can only imagine he is being truthful that it's IS him that is the problem.

[Isamu]

If you love someone set them free. If they don't come back, then hunt them down and shoot them.

[spazchan]

XenoBlade, on Feb 23 2010, 03:59 PM, said:

yup...another relationship thread...kinda just like Keiichi said...Cue in the pages, but also cue in the "It's another relationship thread and make light of the situation" posters too. Which I'm kinda doing myself.

Man relationships are just too big a factor in people's life I swear. Even those big tough people who SAY it isn't important will break apart if they don't get any sort of love. I've seen it. Oh well.

I couldn't even give advice since I haven't really had that said to me, or have I said that to anyone.

But if this was some guy that you liked for a while, I can only imagine he is being truthful that it's IS him that is the problem.

Lies! It is always your fault XenoBlade

[Lady_Aeris]

I know he is going through some stuff right now, but its all because of other peoples thoughts about him. But whatever im pretty much over it now. cause if he didnt feel like i was worth fighting for while i was willing to help him with all of it its HIS LOSS

[magicreaver]

Lady_Aeris, on Feb 23 2010, 11:20 PM, said:

if he didnt feel like i was worth fighting for while i was willing to help him with all of it its HIS LOSS

Well said! If he really is going through a rough patch in his life and doesn't want to drag you into it, its admirable, but ultimately that should be your decision to support him through it or not, not his.

I had this line used on me, and it was truthful, but the explanation given was a lie at the time, making me convince her to take me back, and wasting an extra year of both our lives trying to mend an already failed relationship. People need to just be honest, if they have a problem, don't sugar coat things cause that only makes things worse.

[wrexness]

Isamu, on Feb 23 2010, 04:39 PM, said:

If you love someone set them free. If they don't come back, then hunt them down and shoot them.

Any firearm recommendations? 8DD

Lady_Aeris, on Feb 23 2010, 05:20 PM, said:

I know he is going through some stuff right now, but its all because of other peoples thoughts about him. But whatever im pretty much over it now. cause if he didnt feel like i was worth fighting for while i was willing to help him with all of it its HIS LOSS

>w<b Good for you!

[redx1]

Alkaren Hyralt, on Feb 23 2010, 01:54 AM, said:

There seems to be a lot of these kinds of threads lately.

Yeah, no kidding. It's getting old.

[Dark Stranger]

It's cuz so many people don't know what a real relationship is or involves. That and people really love lying to not hurt anyone which is actually worse then just being forward. When you tell someone they didn't do anything wrong, they constantly search through everything they did to see what happened wrong. Cuz obviously if their awesome and great and all the other BS that comes outta peoples mouths then you would want to date them right? It's much better if people would be more straight forward and say something along the lines of, "I don't think I can't date you because of *anger issues, can't make decisions, looks, etc.*" at least the person then knows what they should try and change.

[Lady_Aeris]

Dark Stranger, on Feb 23 2010, 10:14 PM, said:

It's cuz so many people don't know what a real relationship is or involves. That and people really love lying to not hurt anyone which is actually worse then just being forward. When you tell someone they didn't do anything wrong, they constantly search through everything they did to see what happened wrong. Cuz obviously if their awesome and great and all the other BS that comes outta peoples mouths then you would want to date them right? It's much better if people would be more straight forward and say something along the lines of, "I don't think I can't date you because of *anger issues, can't make decisions, looks, etc.*" at least the person then knows what they should try and change.

thats what im saying. well he finally talked to me about y and i feel way better now. i can feel more at peace now