[this_chick25]

Hrm.

This is my history of getting a boyfriend:

::walks around looking at the ceiling, the sky, anything above the horizon::

::trips over a guy::

::claws him to pieces about getting in my way::

::thinks later on about how that guy was kinda cute::

::goes back and apologizes::

::has a nice conversation and parts ways::

::we keep bumping into each other later on::

::?????::

::ends up with a boyfriend::

Slight variances to the story, but that's generally how it keeps happening.

I think I've had about 5, maybe 6 (over the course of 13 years), but I don't think I've ever chased one down because I really had to have a guy on my arm or anything. I'd rather have a cat.

[Keiichi-chan]

Suigetsu, on Feb 20 2010, 11:05 PM, said:

I never went on a date/ had a gf before. I don't mean to offend anyone if they take it wrong, but I see no reason yet for me to look for anyone. I still need to get somewhere in the world before I settle down, and I am not one who just wants to play in the garden.

please tell me this is a King of the Hill reference! xD

[Kii]

this_chick25, on Feb 21 2010, 06:52 PM, said:

Hrm. I'd rather have a cat.

Haha.

[Keiichi-chan]

XenoBlade, on Feb 21 2010, 04:44 PM, said:

Along with the ahole misconception...there goes the nice guy misconception. females don't go for the bad guy "because they don't like being treated fairly and like a Princess", it usually because those said nice guys are boring. They are too giving and to eager to please, and that makes things boring. Granted that looking for excitment is a double edge sword since it's a chance that those who look for excitment and find someone like that ARE the jerks, and then they get bitter and hate guys for a bit, wondering why they are hurt.

this is true. i think i mentioned this phenomenon in the other relationship thread.
but also, most girls really, really like to feel special. an a-hole who is a douche to everyone but sweet
and romantic to one girl--the one girl he LOVES--is a pretty appealing relationship to many girls, if only
because of how special it makes the girl feel.

not to mention, a lot of dudes who don't 'get the girl' just self-label themselves as the nice guy, because of it.
nerdy, shy, awkward people can be totally douchebags sometimes, too. just because you're quiet, it doesn't mean
your kind.

[kenkendazo]

Keiichi-chan, on Feb 21 2010, 06:09 PM, said:

please tell me this is a King of the Hill reference! xD

^^ Tis' my true feelings, but I also feel that that was the best episode ever.

[Keiichi-chan]

Suigetsu, on Feb 21 2010, 06:30 PM, said:

^^ Tis' my true feelings, but I also feel that that was the best episode ever.

ME, TOO!!!!! *_*


Bill: Gilbert! How long have you been sitting there?!
Gilbert:Thirty-five years...

[wrexness]

*tends Suigetsu vine?* That sounds very wrong out of context, not that it was clean in context either...

[kenkendazo]

^ What I mean is that I don't want a one-night stand or anything short. I'm looking for a lifetime partner, and I know that not many people my age are in that state yet so its better to hold off for now...not that I'm saying I can't meet that special person soon.

Keiichi-chan, on Feb 21 2010, 07:20 PM, said:

ME, TOO!!!!! *_*


Bill: Gilbert! How long have you been sitting there?!
Gilbert:Thirty-five years...

I am one to associate more with sinners than saints, and sinners always look good.

[Bella23]

Damn, I seriously thought we were going to talk about dark chocolate, which is my favorite.


I have no advice. Sorry

[wrexness]

Suigetsu, on Feb 21 2010, 07:50 PM, said:

^ What I mean is that I don't want a one-night stand or anything short. I'm looking for a lifetime partner, and I know that not many people my age are in that state yet so its better to hold off for now...not that I'm saying I can't meet that special person soon.



I am one to associate more with sinners than saints, and sinners always look good.

XD I know, but that was the full line: (paraphrasing) "Now tell me... are you here to till the soil and tend the vine, or are you just playin' in the garden?"

[Millions_Knives]

~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
~keeps~

[Rini]

Boyfriends are overrated.

Cookies and power rangers? now there's a friday night to celebrate.

Even if they remastered them and added in odd comic book effects x.x

[Keiichi-chan]

wrexness, on Feb 21 2010, 07:51 PM, said:

XD I know, but that was the full line: (paraphrasing) "Now tell me... are you here to till the soil and tend the vine, or are you just playin' in the garden?"

this is velvet. this is velveteen. a gentlemen must know the difference..

[Lord Warhammer]

rini, on Feb 21 2010, 10:46 PM, said:

Boyfriends are overrated.

Cookies and power rangers? now there's a friday night to celebrate.

Even if they remastered them and added in odd comic book effects x.x

cookies are great anytime. the only good thing about the original power rangers was the pink ranger.

i'll still take the old and new voltron cartoons any day.

lets see.. off topic? YES!
will i get slapped at the con? possibly.

[Kii]

Lord Warhammer, on Feb 21 2010, 11:59 PM, said:

will i get slapped at the con? definitely.

[Aiko☆Noble]

Hrmm, well, if you're only a junior in high school, I wouldn't worry about it.
Some people are just late bloomers. It's better to find someone that you
really connect with than just hooking up with a random stranger to say that
you "have" someone. I think I have the perfect examples for this. X)

-ahem- On one hand, I had a friend that liked to date every guy she made
eye contact with. This usually ended with exhausting conversations (with me)
about how she "didn't really feel that way" about the dude, and what she should
do to break it off. I kept telling her to SLOW DOWN and just be friends and hang
out with the guys before going all out. But, she never listened. Anyway, she
dated a million guys and broke up with a million guys. She's nearing a month
with her current boyfriend (might be a record), but I'm not so sure how that's
going, because we're out of touch nowadays.

On the other hand, my best friend since middle school has finally found herself
her first boyfriend (she's eighteen). There were a couple of boys that she was
totally head-over-heels for before, but she waited it out, stayed just friends with them,
and they just weren't meant to be. She started talking to an old childhood friend
of hers just last year, and they hung out for a while, and something developed
naturally, and now they're happy as clams together now.

So just wait it out. Let "fate" bring someone your way. It'll happen in time.

As a side note, dark chocolate is amazingly delicious. *_*

Oh yeah, and to quote multiple replies (someone asked earlier in the thread),
just click the "+ Quote" button on the lower right-hand side of the post you'd like
to reply to. The button should turn red, indicating that it's been marked to quote.
You can then go ahead and click the "+ Quote" button on any other post that you'd
like to reply to. I should note that you can freely move about pages in the thread
without losing posts that you've marked, so just go on ahead if there's another post
on a different page you want to add. When you've clicked all the posts you want
to reply to, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page and click "Add Reply"
in the bottom right hand corner, just below the posts.

If you want to reply to just a single post, all you have to do is, instead of clicking
"+ Quote" at the bottom of the post, click "Reply", and it will take you to the page
where you can type a reply, with the post you're replying to already pasted in.

Wow, that was long. Sorry about that. ^^;

[Lord Warhammer]

thanks for clearing that up Kii

now you just have to find me..
mwahahahaha

[xvszero]

XenoBlade, on Feb 21 2010, 04:44 PM, said:

Along with the ahole misconception...there goes the nice guy misconception. females don't go for the bad guy "because they don't like being treated fairly and like a Princess", it usually because those said nice guys are boring.

Eh. I wouldn't say boring. I would say too passive. I have rarely known a "nice guy" who is actually out there actually actively pursuing women to be single for very long, and I have never known an butt (lol the forum changes the a word to "butt") who is sitting around waiting for women to come to him to be very successful (unless he is like, really really hot, lol).

I just got back from my first successful date EVAR and you know what? I wasn't any less nice than I have been in my completely failed dating past (in fact, this girl loves that I'm a decent guy) but I definitely approached this whole situation differently than I used to. I pursued this girl more actively from the start, I forced myself to not clam up (I'm shy) and retreat into my shell and to keep conversations flowing with her, I made sure to relate to her on different topics and talk to her about things that actually make me who I am (as opposed to expecting "nice" to carry it), I decided to withhold being continually insecure (don't get me wrong, we have both talked about various insecurities we have, it's just that "nice guys" like me often overdo it and talk themselves down too much), and maybe the most important part, I actually projected confidence for once (even if I didn't totally FEEL it the whole time). For example, while we were discussing how to split the check I just up and said "how about this, I will pay this time and you can pay on our next date" and she laughed and agreed. Past me would be all wondering if she even wanted to go on another date and all worried about being too presumptuous.

So yeah, I don't think nice guys are the problem. Most girls WANT a nice guy. But you need to be more than nice.

This post has been edited by xvszero: 21 February 2010 - 11:58 PM

[this_chick25]

Millions_Knives, on Feb 21 2010, 09:24 PM, said:

~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
not food
~spits out~
~search search search~
food!
~eats~
~keeps~

Short description: He hunts for girls (actually, pretty much everything) in very much the same way a fish.

[Morbid Intentions]

xvszero, on Feb 22 2010, 12:56 AM, said:

Eh. I wouldn't say boring. I would say too passive. I have rarely known a "nice guy" who is actually out there actually actively pursuing women to be single for very long, and I have never known an butt (lol the forum changes the a word to "butt") who is sitting around waiting for women to come to him to be very successful (unless he is like, really really hot, lol).

IDK about all that, I'm pretty much a butt and I just casually roam around not caring too much about a relationship and things just fall into place as far as people wanting me, (more so than when I was a nice guy and actually took my time noticing girls that "I would want to be with") when you aren't caring is when people are noticing the most IMO.

being on both sides of the spectrum I can say once you master the art of classholism it's the only way to go


and I would consider myself mediocre at best on the looks scale as far as that last part

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 22 February 2010 - 12:31 AM

[Lord Warhammer]

classholism?

[xvszero]

Well, "not caring" tends to equal high levels of confidence, at least in your ability to speak with women without stuttering and over-projecting and everything. Actually, have you ever known people who say "when I was single I got no attention, but now that I'm taken girls are all over me, what gives?!" But I think the answer is obvious, when guys are single they get awkward and desperate and a billion other things, but then they find someone and they become... normal. And can have normal conversations with other women (because they're not sitting around worried what the other women think) and that is attractive to women.

(This applies to girls as well, to some extent).

[Morbid Intentions]

xvszero, on Feb 22 2010, 01:39 AM, said:

Well, "not caring" tends to equal high levels of confidence, at least in your ability to speak with women without stuttering and over-projecting and everything. Actually, have you ever known people who say "when I was single I got no attention, but now that I'm taken girls are all over me, what gives?!" But I think the answer is obvious, when guys are single they get awkward and desperate and a billion other things, but then they find someone and they become... normal. And can have normal conversations with other women (because they're not sitting around worried what the other women think) and that is attractive to women.

(This applies to girls as well, to some extent).

this I'll agree with 100%, probably said it better than I would have... I'm just very blunt in my explanations lol

but to add to it... another reason why women tend to be all over someone that is taken or hard to get in the first place is because they want a challenge, if something is given to them they just lose interest (at least from what I have experienced)


@ lord warhammer

classholism, just how it's stated... although hard to explain, a line drawn between being a guy that cares and being a complete douche, works for some people... others it doesn't, so I'm not saying it's for everyone... back when I was the sentimental nice guy I've been told on various occasions by women that "being nice/sweet doesn't suite me"... back then I never understood them but now it makes perfect sense, being the cocky goofball butt just fits the aura I give off physically and emotionally

IDK, this is the best picture of me that really demonstrates that attitude I give off
http://i43.photobuck...en/100_1840.jpg

now imagine me just sitting in the corner all quiet being the nice guy and saying sweet things and being all lovey dovey.... it just doesn't work, for some I'm sure it does though so like I said before I'm not saying the "classhole" is for everyone

there really is too many angles and aspects of this crazy equation as to why certain guys can get away with so much and others can't when the only thing that's different is one is just a little bit nervous than the other... to me it's not that fair because in reality the really overboard nice guys have the best attitude on paper but in the field it's the worst attitude to have and totally creeps people out

IMO if someone finds their equilibrium where they are that nice guy that can show they care when the times are important but not get sucked into getting used aznd know when to lay down the law and otherwise just be a goofball that doesn't give a f***... that's a good combo IMO, at least from my experience... and I coined this "classholism"

This post has been edited by Morbid Intentions: 22 February 2010 - 01:10 AM

[xvszero]

Morbid Intentions, on Feb 22 2010, 01:06 AM, said:

but to add to it... another reason why women tend to be all over someone that is taken or hard to get in the first place is because they want a challenge, if something is given to them they just lose interest (at least from what I have experienced)

Yeah but I'm talking about guys who are in situations where women wouldn't even know they ARE taken now, and are still getting a lot of attention. They start talking about women having some mystical radar about this stuff (which makes no sense) instead of looking at the obvious answer, which is that their interactions with women are different when they are taken from how they are when they are single. Guys who already have a girlfriend (and aren't looking) have nothing to lose when talking to other women, so they tend to project total confidence. Being single and not caring kind of works off the same idea. It's when you care too much how things are going that you get all nervous and awkward and fake.

BTW I'm not necessarily saying I think not caring is the solution. I care how things go with women I am interested in, I am just learning more and more how to project that "not caring" confidence anyway. I mean, at first. Eventually a girl will want you to care about her and you can openly care about her. But if you care too much at first when you still barely know each other, it just comes off as desperate and creepy.

On a side note, in my mind, nice guy doesn't automatically mean doormat. I have always considered myself a pretty nice guy but I don't go near women who won't treat me as an equal. I have no interest in being a doormat.

[Kii]

That goes for women, too. They generally tend to become more confident when they have a boyfriend, because they aren't trying to attract anyone.

So they stop over-thinking everything and being super self-aware because they don't care.

[Naruto9thDemon]

All I have to say is if you find someone you can truly connect with on a level that you can't with anyone else go for it. Don't go out of your way to drop what your doing in life to make a gf/bf main priority and then wish you didn't but that goes for other things to. Don't let that one person pass you by because you think that a relationship is just "overrated" as I think 3-4 people put it in this thread. Yes relationships can be fantastic. Yes relationships can be a living hell. Life is life. You only have 1 and it's really hard to do everything you want and get everything you want done done in life. I know some people just aren't the relationship type so they date and mess around.

That's fine it's their deal. Anyone can live their life on there own and be perfectly happy doing so. Relationships to most are just a side thing that if it comes along it does and if it doesn't well who cares no regrets. But there are people out there that really hope they meet the right one in their life time. I'm among those. But I won't let me being single stop me from being me and doing what I want to do in life and I don't think anyone honestly should. If you have a dream that you fight for then do it.

Don't stand back and say "Sorry can't I have a gf/bf or wife/husband." 1 life ONE!!! LIFE!! Don't let it go to waste. Do what you feel you should and just think about it before doing so. Don't have regrets because of a silly mistake.

There easier now?

This post has been edited by Naruto9thDemon: 22 February 2010 - 06:27 PM

[SongstressLenne]

........

Wow just wow

Looks like you guys were busy over the weekend


I can go off on my own little personal view but I'd really rather not.

Very interesting read though.

[Kii]

Naruto9thDemon, on Feb 22 2010, 06:33 AM, said:

All I have to say is if you find someone you can truly connect with on a level that you can't with anyone else go for it. Don't go out of your way to drop what your doing in life to make a gf/bf main priority and then wish you didn't but that goes for other things to. Don't let that one person pass you by because you think that a relationship is just "overrated" as I think 3-4 people put it in this thread. Yes relationships can be fantastic. Yes relationships can be a living hell. Life is life. You only have 1 and it's really hard to do everything you want and get everything you want done done in life. I know some people just aren't the relationship type so they date and mess around. That's fine it's their deal. Anyone can live their life on there own and be perfectly happy doing so. Relationships to most are just a side thing that if it comes along it does and if it doesn't well who cares no regrets. But there are people out there that really hope they meet the right one in their life time. I'm among those. But I won't let me being single stop me from being me and doing what I want to do in life and I don't think anyone honestly should. If you have a dream that you fight for then do it. Don't stand back and say "Sorry can't I have a gf/bf or wife/husband." 1 life ONE!!! LIFE!! Don't let it go to waste. Do what you feel you should and just think about it before doing so. Don't have regrets because of a silly mistake.

Block text.
Cannot read.
Nobody understands what you're saying.

[XenoBlade]

xvszero, on Feb 21 2010, 11:56 PM, said:

Eh. I wouldn't say boring. I would say too passive. I have rarely known a "nice guy" who is actually out there actually actively pursuing women to be single for very long, and I have never known an butt (lol the forum changes the a word to "butt") who is sitting around waiting for women to come to him to be very successful (unless he is like, really really hot, lol).

I just got back from my first successful date EVAR and you know what? I wasn't any less nice than I have been in my completely failed dating past (in fact, this girl loves that I'm a decent guy) but I definitely approached this whole situation differently than I used to. I pursued this girl more actively from the start, I forced myself to not clam up (I'm shy) and retreat into my shell and to keep conversations flowing with her, I made sure to relate to her on different topics and talk to her about things that actually make me who I am (as opposed to expecting "nice" to carry it), I decided to withhold being continually insecure (don't get me wrong, we have both talked about various insecurities we have, it's just that "nice guys" like me often overdo it and talk themselves down too much), and maybe the most important part, I actually projected confidence for once (even if I didn't totally FEEL it the whole time). For example, while we were discussing how to split the check I just up and said "how about this, I will pay this time and you can pay on our next date" and she laughed and agreed. Past me would be all wondering if she even wanted to go on another date and all worried about being too presumptuous.

So yeah, I don't think nice guys are the problem. Most girls WANT a nice guy. But you need to be more than nice.

Well it's both. I say that because I've had many girls come out and tell me that a lot of true nice guys are too boring. I addressed the whole being to passive too, because that is another problem. And yeah, I know I'm at fault for this, but I constantly talk down about myself. That is a clear sign of a lack of confidence. But as much as females feel pressured from the media, guys do too. It just not a big issue for guys since it's "bad" to worry about stuff like that. The irony is I can actually give off confidence even though I really don't. (I'm working on that however)

And it's never really just one issue...as in with the nice guy...it's more. Every female is different. But I will agree, it takes more then being nice. But with that fact, it's the confidence issue. Most nice guys aren't confident in themself, and believe the only thing that makes them stand out from the pack IS their niceness.

And with the doormat issue, I'm defintely not that anymore. I use to bend my back for most females just because I thought it was nice and I was just being used. I don't take crap from anyone. Especially some female who thinks I'm just good for doing random crap they want because "I HAZ BOOBS AND YOU WILL DROOL OVER THEM AND I WILL TEASE YOU BUT NEVER DO ANYTHING MORE" Any chick who even attempts to pull crap like that against me will find a whole new lesson, and the game reversed. That kind of attitude actually pisses me off. I won't be treated like crap by anyone.

This post has been edited by XenoBlade: 22 February 2010 - 07:19 PM

[sentinel28a]

Lord Warhammer, on Feb 22 2010, 04:59 AM, said:

will i get slapped at the con? possibly.

Why wait?

*POW*

Ben Da Mad Irishman
"See next entry for serious thread"