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The Amazing Chuck Norris! Put Your Urban Legends Here!

#1 User is offline   excel excel 

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Post icon  Posted 03 February 2007 - 11:43 PM

Chuck Norris is so awesome I heard he kickboxed 100 midgets in his sleep! What have you heard about him?
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#2 User is offline   sentinel28a 

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Posted 05 February 2007 - 05:29 AM

I heard that Chuck once roundhouse kicked someone so hard his boot flew off, broke the time barrier, and killed Amelia Earhart.

Chuck Norris eats barbed wire and pees napalm.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck never cries.

Second Impact was caused by a combination of Chuck Norris and Carroll Shelby Chili. The Evangelion Project is a vain attempt at stopping Chuck from eating chili again.

Ex-Lax can knock the crap out of Superman, but Chuck thinks they're Hershey's Kisses.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street of a small Illinois town with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris has had every breed of woman and several of livestock.

Chuck Norris thinks Akira is a comedy.

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Posted 05 February 2007 - 08:43 AM

As much as I hate Chuck Norris is a god sayings...

Diamond was the hardest substance on earth.........until Chuck Norris got an erection...
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Posted 05 February 2007 - 09:11 AM

They wanted to put Chuck Noris' face on Mount Rushmore, but they were unable to find granite hard enough for the beard.

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 01:46 PM

Chuck Norris and Mr. T met one day on an old dirt road. But before the inevitable battle could begin, the Earth sh*t itself and created Scotland.
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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:16 AM

God says "let there be light" Chuck Norris replies "Only of you say please"

Chuck Norris dies of an Epic overload and goes to heaven, he walks up to God and says " You're in my chair"

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris lets Jackie Chan live because he likes Chris Tucker films
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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:25 AM

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can speak in Braille

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris once got bitten by venomous snake. After 3 days of excruciating pain, the snake dies.

On the bottom of Chuck Norris' shoe, there is braille so that even blind people will know what's going on.
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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:33 AM

Chuck Norris can do anything . who's he? really never heard of him
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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:35 AM

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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:46 AM

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris doesnt read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademark names for his legs.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he isnt pushing himself up, hes pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

There is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris computer... Hes always in control

Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.


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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:48 AM

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

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Posted 06 May 2008 - 10:14 PM

If you mistype Chuck Norris' name on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It says, "Run while you still can."
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#13 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:36 PM

Chuck Norris drives Optimus Prime to work.
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 07:14 AM

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.


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#15 User is offline   mangahero 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 08:55 AM

chuck norris bought a poisonous snake one day after a while it bit the maid so with tears in his eyes...chuck shot the maid.
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Posted 07 May 2008 - 01:08 PM

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with steel wool and WD-40

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 02:12 PM

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, he brought the gift of the awesome beard. the other three wise men decided to leave him out of the bible and suffered roundhouse kick related deaths.
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#18 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 02:36 PM

chuck norris made jet li cry...by looking at him
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 02:58 PM

Gah...don't know if I can post the one I have.....it's fairly evil XD


Spoiler



If it's offensive or whatever...don't hesitate to remove the above "spoiler-esque" comment. XD

*And DID YOU KNOW...there's a book at Barnes and Noble about all this Chuck Norris crap? lol*
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#20 User is offline   jackspicer 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 03:32 PM

View Postmens_pocky06, on May 7 2008, 08:58 PM, said:

Gah...don't know if I can post the one I have.....it's fairly evil XD


Spoiler



If it's offensive or whatever...don't hesitate to remove the above "spoiler-esque" comment. XD

*And DID YOU KNOW...there's a book at Barnes and Noble about all this Chuck Norris crap? lol*


yep, i bought the book
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#21 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 03:36 PM

Chuck Norris had barb wire for braces
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

#22 User is offline   jackspicer 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 04:32 PM

View PostKasin, on May 7 2008, 09:36 PM, said:

Chuck Norris had barb wire for braces


Chuck Norris didn't need braces, his teeth were too scared to get out of formation
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#23 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 04:59 PM

but his hard cure actions cause a bit of and over bit
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

#24 User is offline   kahad 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 06:56 PM

Chuck Norris graduated from college with a 5.0 GPA.
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#25 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 07:10 PM

View Postkahad, on May 7 2008, 07:56 PM, said:

Chuck Norris graduated from college with a 5.0 GPA.


when he was 5
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

#26 User is offline   Kankokujin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 08:42 PM

Chuck Norris once took a whole truckload of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
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#27 User is offline   Kasin 

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Posted 07 May 2008 - 09:01 PM

chuck norris caused the big boom
Anime: hell girl, & trigun. Manga: Soul eater. / Games: Dragon Age, DCUO, batman, & soulsilver.i'm a rini fan boypokemon friend code: 2836 0346 5412 battle anytime, need to get my gold/silver code. wii code: 0061 4530 7677 7629. XBL: hitherkasin & PSN ID: kasin13in 2011 i will be cosplaying as gene starwind & kouga, also w/ my daughter we will do pokemon trainer red/ash & eevee/pikachu. in 2012 we will do hit girl & big daddy, also mini moon & tuxedo mask. in 2013 we will do wizardmon & kari with a gatomon plushie (ty teko!) also mystic gohan & pan. I will also do green ranger some day.

#28 User is offline   mangahero 

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Posted 08 May 2008 - 09:15 AM

chuck norris was the real Jesus. Why do you think they always depict jesus with a beard and White.
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